He cheated on me and I did but I didn't get caught!!

Forums: Cheating, Relationships
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I caught my boyfriend in February cheating on me through iCloud since he used to use my apple account and the photos and everything would be saved automatically on this account. I saw some pictures of him lying down with this other girl. I confronted him about it and he confessed and told me that on this day he smoked a lot of weed and that there was nothing serious going between them and he told me how sorry he is and even cried afraid of losing me. The problem is that I haven't been faithful too! but I didn't get caught. I used to talk with my ex just to check up on him, but I knew even back then that if I had to chose between them both that I would’ve stayed with my boyfriend and not leave him for my ex because I really do love him.

after that we broke up for a couple of months and then I couldn't but call him to ask how he's doing although he should be the one calling me and begging me not to leave him but he didn’t. We were back together because I felt guilty and I must forgive him because if I were in his shoes I would like someone to forgive me. I promised myself that I'd be faithful to him and I did. but then I recently discovered other photos of another girl on his cellphone and photos of a drawing of her (which he drew) and that was even before he cheated on me (a month before). Now I'm really confused .he wouldn't have drawn these if he didn't have any kind of feelings, right??? . I told him he must try harder in order for us not to fall apart but he's just not putting any effort into this relationship. Sometimes I think that I'm being too hard on myself and I deserve such a thing because I was unfaithful to him, maybe its my fault but other times I think that this is just too much for me to take. I don't know if I should break up with him or stay. I don't want somebody to do the same thing to me, I mean not forgive me or give me a chance. I’m torn and broken and dunno what I should do. .

I tried my everything but I guess what goes around comes around, Maybe its gods way of telling me that this is the kind of pain u get when u know you’ve been cheated on.
Its hard letting go since we've been together for 6 years.
When he said sorry he told me that there was only this girl who I saw her photos. He didn’t tell me anything about the other one.
I dunno if I should try more or just give up, confront him about the other girl or just leave it.

Please help me decide Sad

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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 2,168 • Replies: 25

@Sarah1798,

How old are you two?

1 Reply

I love how so many people think they're right and can scrutinize the wise/intelligent, but they ask for other people's advice and let others teach them.

It's baffling. It's basically people really saying, "Let me use you to come to my own answer. I don't want a real answer, they hurt."

1 Reply

@Sarah1798,

I guess if you caught him and he didn't catch you, the best defense is still a good offense.

0 Replies

@Sarah1798,

Relationships take a lot of work. Love is used so flippantly.

Does he smoke weed regularly? Do you think that's a good thing if he does? He's claiming that as the reason, so shouldn't there be a conversation about him stopping smoking weed full stop?

If you were speaking to your ex constantly but feel that this guy is better and so you should stay with him, then can you really state you are in love?

If he is finding other girls attractive (smoking or not), then can he claim that he is really in love?

Or could it be that you've been together for 6 years and both can't really let go, yet a lot of things has passed in this relationship, can you get those things back?

In-other-words. You both need to really establish if there is a future for you both and things are a bit stagnant and can be worked on, together. Or if that used by date really has occurred and it's time for both of you to move on.

Morals stop you from cheating, or lessons learnt stop you from doing it again, but "love" is only real if two people feel it totally.

2 Replies

@FOUND SOUL,

FOUND SOUL wrote:

Does he smoke weed regularly? Do you think that's a good thing if he does? He's claiming that as the reason, so shouldn't there be a conversation about him stopping smoking weed full stop?

This.

1 Reply

@contrex,

There's a reason why he smokes, so not "This.". There's more to it, but you know, you're too emotional to understand that.

0 Replies

@Sarah1798,

It's harder to leave after seven or nine or fifteen or twenty two or more years.

Are you afraid of being alone? I don't mean that aggressively, just that I think that is a commonality of why some people who are ordinarily smart don't just walk from what isn't working and never will be working.

I agree with Found Soul re the usage of the word love.

1 Reply

Is it just me, or does anyone else think One Eyed Mind is a tool?

2 Replies

@glitterbag,

You do not agree that people are using other people to make up their own answer, instead of accepting a real one?

1 Reply

@One Eyed Mind,

Quote:

You do not agree that people are using other people to make up their own answer, instead of accepting a real one?

Just my 2 cents worth. How the hell do you think people learn in life? They ask other people, read things, take it in, then make their own decision whether that's their original thought or a new one.

That's real.

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

No, they ignore the truth. They only accept things that make them feel better.

1 Reply

@One Eyed Mind,

A very broad statement. If one is, "one sided, minded"... Perhaps.

1 Reply

@FOUND SOUL,

But it is true. They wouldn't be asking otherwise. They only ask because they haven't accepted the real answer within themselves.

Ever notice how wise men don't go around asking for advice? It's an unwise thing - the only reason why, is because the person refuses to listen to themselves.

1 Reply

@glitterbag,

glitterbag wrote:

Is it just me, or does anyone else think One Eyed Mind is a tool?

No, it isn't just you.

1 Reply

@contrex,

I'm the tool, when you guys think down votes are any bit constructive, or that disagreeing with someone means that they are wrong, not because you just simply don't agree, whether they are right or wrong.

Okay. Ignore my arguments, while you do not make any arguments yourselves, but rather plenty of accusations.

0 Replies

@One Eyed Mind,

Listen to yourself. You argue with yourself. Do you truthfully think everyone has an instant answer? Or isn't it feasible that some need clarification or they need guidance to establish their thoughts and who is to say that their thoughts are not the right answer, rather other's opinions guide them to the correct answer.

You also realise you are simply de-railing other peoples threads with your own perspective on things instead of reality and I say reality because you are but one person making a comment on your own thoughts, you are not the OP nor the people that reply.

I get that people sometimes know the answer and refuse to listen. That's a normality. But the more people that reply in accordance to their thoughts provides the answer. It's not always the case though. Sometimes their thoughts is NOT the answer.

You need to not be "one eyed, in your mind" .

2 Replies

@FOUND SOUL,

FOUND SOUL wrote:

Listen to yourself. You argue with yourself.

He or she or it is a troll.

0 Replies

@FOUND SOUL,

FOUND SOUL wrote:

You need to not be "one eyed, in your mind" .

That would be one eyed in the kingdom of the blind. That would be us, of course.

0 Replies

@PUNKEY,

I'm 21 and he's 22

1 Reply

He cheated on me and I did but I didn't get caught!!

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