He cheated on me and I did but I didn't get caught!!

actually yes the real answer hurts but I'm not that kinda of people who would just ignore the reality because I don't like it.
Maybe there are some other people who would see the problem from different angles and could help me find an answer. Sometimes we need people around us to guide us thats all

First I would like to thank you for your comment.

Second, No, he doesn't smoke it. This was his first time and he didn't know how strong that kind was (sorry I don't know a lot about weed) but that was what he at least told me. If he'd continue smoking I would've noticed but he isn't anymore. Of course I don't wanna be in a relationship with a junkie or whatsoever.

I guess the hardest part is letting go after all those years. Maybe its the main reason why I'm trying everything in order to make it work. Honestly, I don't think that we still have what we used to but at the same time I don't wanna lose the person I fell in love with. I've been thinking maybe its a test for our relationship. If I leave him then I'd be breaking my promise of being there for him and standing by his side whenever he needs me, but he's just not appreciating or even feeling how hard I'm trying.

Maybe the right thing to do is give him a one last chance and hope he's not gonna let me down again although if he did its gonna really hurt this time but at least I'll know I've done everything I could.

It's a good question. I haven't really thought about it but i think somehow yes.
But I do know for sure that being alone is much better than being in a bad relationship .

You're not just saying that are you? I like to make sure that you mean what you say, not to say it reassuringly.

I think that you have to believe what he told you. Any substance abuse never used before can give you a reaction, in my opinion and you've found no evidence of him further using it.



This is called fear, do you think it's called love? That's a long time to be together for both of you, like I said relationships are hard work, they otherwise turn into to people that know each other. Memories are exactly that as well, memories.



The question is. Do you think you can get it back? Is there enough foundation there that would make you want to fight for it?

Remembering you were still hung up on someone else, yourself, before this guy.



You aren't married to him. But, when did you make that promise? How often does he need you? What for? Please.

So has he given up? Or are you providing "words" to him more so than actions.

There are a lot of questions I'd like you to ask yourself more so than answer me. What is the core feeling inside yourself for this person, or is it love that you so badly want and deep down know you haven't and can't get it from him.



This honestly sounds like you are trying to find a way to justify an exit plan.

He made one mistake, he was stoned, you've shown nothing since that has suggested that it's been an on-going thing or something to be concerned about and you've stated, hey so did you but he doesn't know about it.

So stating "hope, chance, one last time" over what he did, when you know you also did it and he knows nothing do you see where that sounds a bit crazy?

Isn't it you both did something and you both need to put it in the past and get on with your relationship or you won't have one.

I get this feeling that you have slightly verbalised this to him on-going, what he did, maybe, to the point where he feels there is not return.

Remember the said heading of your thread.

Where does he get to forgive you?

When will you forgive him for doing something through drugs, when you did something without them?

See what I am trying to say?



As for the last reply to you, don't answer someone when you've already answered them, you don't have to defend your answer, that in itself means that person can't handle if he/she is wrong. Pretty simular scenario huh.

leave him now. you're too young to be wasting your life with this dude