Why?

Forums: Self Image, Self-Awareness, Emotional Wellness
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I have been taking a summer course this year. I have worked closely with a woman who I have spent a lot of time with. I've become very attracted to her. Yesterday was the last day of the semester. I asked her out on a date while we were walking into class. She said yes and that after class we could figure out the details. But after class I waited for her and she just got in her car and drove off!

If she didn't want to go out with me, she could have just said no. I'm a grown up, I would've respected her. Instead she chose the easy way out and lied to me, knowing that she wouldn't have to face the aftermath of her rejection (a human being feeling hurt.) That's cowardly. Women will lie through their teeth if it saves them hassle, instead of being decent human beings.

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Type: Question • Score: 9 • Views: 8,345 • Replies: 112
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Let's round 'em all up and shoot 'em, goddamn it!

1 Reply

@Setanta,

Quote:

Let's round 'em all up and shoot 'em, goddamn it!

Um, or we could be adults and not engage in hyperbole.

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@SadTiger,

If one woman (or possible more) rejected you, was a coward or had to rush off unexpectedly...for whatever reason...why should you let that affect your having fun, being positive attitude or even ruin one day? This is a simple matter of correcting your perspective.

As hard as this may be to grasp. You will never know why she did that. At this point, it doesn't matter, either. Clearly there was something that didn't work out and likely wouldn't have. Try to let it go and not obsess over this or memories of your past.

Stop cooperating with events that help make you sad, increase your self-doubt or feel depressed. Stop cooperating with self-doubt to make you feel negative. Your desire has to be find a new situation that has more potential of giving you happiness.

Think about the next time...when the next worthwhile lady who'll be worth taking the time to cultivate a friendship and go off into the sunset with a smile.

[Edit: I see by your previous post you have a long-time self-image issue and a lot of self-doubt. The advice others gave you before and offered here still applies. Don't allow others small-mindedness to validate your lack of self-confidence.]

2 Replies

You seem to have an obsession about "being adults." Adults engage in hyperbole all the time. My response to you was predicated on your outrageous hyperbole. Contrast these two statements:

SadTiger wrote:

I'm a grown up, I would've respected her.

Quote:

Women will lie through their teeth if it saves them hassle, instead of being decent human beings.

An otherwise unqualified statement such as your second statement here condemns all women as liars, and liars to suit their momentary convenience. How adult was that in your judgment?

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@Setanta,

You're. Well, you're just. . . . That's what!

0 Replies

[James Cagney voice]You dirty rat . . . [/James Cagney voice]

1 Reply

@Ragman,

Quote:

Think about the next time...when the next worthwhile lady who'll be worth taking the time to cultivate a friendship and go off into the sunset with a smile.

It happens all the time. I project a positive attitude always. I hide my doubt even when I feel it. Most women just seem heartless and self centered. It's much easier to make a quick exit than to give a guy a chance to prove he's got something to offer, or to at least politely say "no thank you, I'm not interested." That's cowardly.

I will continue to project positivity as I always do in real life.

I keep my sadness inside, away from others. I project enthusiasm for others because I feel they deserve it. Even if I don't know them.

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@Setanta,

With a gold tooth!

1 Reply

@Setanta,

Quote:

An otherwise unqualified statement such as your second statement here condemns all women as liars, and liars to suit their momentary convenience. How adult was that in your judgment?

Fair point. I will rephrase it a bit. Most, but not all women seem to care more about momentary convenience than human decency and dignity. Does that work for you?

1 Reply

@SadTiger,

Acting positive is not BEING positive,. Your act is transparent.

Stop generalizing about women or most women or most of the others and their flaws. If your house needs fixing and your roof is leaking does it matter about the leaking roof in your neighbor's house?. Others roofs are not relevant.

Fix your own attitude not by acting the part, but doing the hard work that it takes to generate happiness from within.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

Quote:

Fix your own attitude not by acting the part

I always believed in "Fake it until you make it" mentality. I think that's better than acting like a joykill for others.

I have done so much hard work. You have no idea. I'm trying really hard. I just get disgusted by selfishness in humanity. It's everywhere.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

Quote:

If one woman (or possible more) rejected you, was a coward or had to rush off unexpectedly

It makes me feel subhuman. Because I didn't deserve that. Even rejection is Ok. But lying isn't. It makes me feel like I'm not even worthy of a simple "I'm flattered, but I'm not interested." Like I'm some lower than human toad who women should run from. I don't think I deserve that. I've never treated any women like that.

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@SadTiger,

You control the thoughts and emotions in your own head and heart - not them.

Fact of life: People lie...people steal and people sometimes do these painful acts just for no good reason. Injustices exist everywhere. However, that's external to you. Avoid them somehow but no matter what...don't let it stop your own growth.

And how is your distorted view of others and life working out for you? Good luck.

Clean the mirror with which you view the world but more importantly, clean the mirror of your own view of your self.

Many of us have rough spots in life. Some of this is a major part of our whole lives, but there's still a need to find some happiness and stop blaming others for our own inability to make ourselves at least minimally happy. If you want to be that miserable, there's little anyone can do to help you.

Why ask for help?

1 Reply

@SadTiger,

No, but i doubt that that will alter your essentially resentful and unfair assessment of the character of women. News flash--people sometimes behave in an arbitrary and capricious manner, and women are people. They don't behave that way because they have ovaries, you know.

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@Ragman,

Quote:

And how is your distorted view of others

How is it "distorted"? Am I the first male ever in the history of life who has pointed out when a female has outright lied? Or that females lie frequently?

Quote:

Fact of life: People lie...people steal and people sometimes do these painful acts just for no good reason

Yes, this is true. But this pattern of removing oneself from responsibility seems to be particularly prevalent in the female gender. Now, that's not a blanket statement to imply that all females fit within it, but rather that many do.

Quote:

Many of us have rough spots in life. Some of this is a major part of our whole lives, but there's still a need to find some happiness and stop blaming others for our own inability to make ourselves at least minimally happy.

I am "minimally" happy. I find things to occupy my time and I take joy and satisfaction in them. I'm just saying that there is a basic human "need" to feel accepted by the opposite sex. Women have this need met with minimal effort at most. Even the most unattractive females are still biologically female and have a vagina. Men will crawl across hot coals to get to a vagina. Can you say the same in regards to women? Will women crawl across hot coals to get to a penis? Or are penises just readily available to them whenever they want one? It's a power imbalance that allows women to always feel a sense of being accepted by the opposite sex without ever having to do anything short of breathing and having a pulse.

1 Reply

@roger,

roger wrote:

With a gold tooth!

That's nothin' . . . Tycho Brahe had a gold nose!

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@SadTiger,

SadTiger wrote:

Quote:
And how is your distorted view of others

How is it "distorted"? Am I the first male ever in the history of life who has pointed out when a female has outright lied? Or that females lie frequently?

You can't assume that her leaving is an implied deception/rejection on her part. Maybe she was stressed for various other reasons and forgot your date request.

Did you even get her phone number? If you did, then why not give her a ring? You could have also rung her up immediately after class to meet up and make the arrangements.

Let's tackle this with the opposite approach. Maybe she didn't forget but was hit with a panic attack. Maybe she fled to whereever makes her feel the safest. This tactic isn't the same as lying to you, you repugnant goof.

One woman's reaction doesn't allow you to make a massive overgeneralization regarding 51% of the world's population either. Get a grip on your feeble and bitter emotions.

2 Replies

@tsarstepan,

You're just picking on him because he has large breasts! Are you envious?

2 Replies

@Ragman,

Ragman wrote:

You're just picking on him because he has large breasts!

I didn't see that revealing thread until after posting this and clicking on his username to get a brief glance at his posting history. Razz

0 Replies

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