Why?

@ehBeth,

Quote:

Maybe I'm wired wrong, but I'd be worried that something had happened (illness at home/problem at work/upset stomach) to the other person rather than assuming they're slighting me.

It wasn't illness or something. I saw her. i was standing right there waiting for her. She walked right past me, not in a hurry talking to one of her friends, acted like I didn't exist standing there. She chose to not make eye contact with me, but easily could have. She calmy got in her car and left.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Quote:

was just wondering if SadTiger would have preferred what I once did when someone I didn't realize was interested asked me out. I was so startled I started laughing and said "are you kidding? No.". It made for an extremely awkward working relationship.

Why did you do that? Was the man being obnoxious? Or was he polite when he asked you? Why did you be so cruel to him? What preparation? You women need preparation just so you can be civil and polite and treat men with decency and respect?

1 Reply

@SadTiger,

SadTiger wrote:

She chose to not make eye contact with me, but easily could have. She calmy got in her car and left.

you don't KNOW that

you're assuming

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Quote:

you don't KNOW that

you're assuming

I was literally less than 10 feet away from her. I even called her name. She heard me, but continued walking smiling and talking with her friend. It was a cold, calculated exit with her friend providing support. She deliberatly ignored me.

1 Reply

@SadTiger,

SadTiger wrote:

I keep my sadness inside, away from others.

and the woman could have been doing the exact same thing as she left.

you don't know what was going on

maybe she was being a jerk, maybe she wasn't

you'll never know what the real deal was

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@ehBeth,

I still want to know why you were so cruel to that man who just thought you were attractive. Why you needed "preparation time" just to be able to treat him with decency and respect.

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@ehBeth,

I'm the one whose contact lens moved to the inner corner of my eye (lefty) when the guy from chemistry class walking near me said hello and asked me out.

Big eye stab session... oh ****! lick, spit, implant, blink, blink, blink.
We went to the student union and sat down and talked. I think that first date was his asking me if I would like to go with him to see/hear Coltrane. All way out of my league. First lover, good man, decades long regarded well. Coltrane was noisy.

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@SadTiger,

when I laughed and said no, the guy should have respected me for not lying to him if I go by this.

SadTiger wrote:

If she didn't want to go out with me, she could have just said no. I'm a grown up, I would've respected her. Instead she chose the easy way out and lied to me, knowing that she wouldn't have to face the aftermath of her rejection (a human being feeling hurt.) That's cowardly. Women will lie through their teeth if it saves them hassle, instead of being decent human beings.

It would definitely have saved hassle if I'd said yes and disappeared.

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@SadTiger,

Why - because I was completely caught off guard that this young guy (kid to my way of thinking) was interested in me and asking me out.

It seemed truly bizarre to me ... and funny.

If I'd had the slightest idea he was interested I would probably have had a chance to think about a nicer way to say no if he ever asked me out.

Yup. I need preparation time to say no. I startle way too easily IRL with that kind of thing.

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@SadTiger,

SadTiger wrote:

It was a cold, calculated exit with her friend providing support. She deliberatly ignored me.

you don't know that

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Sorry for butting into your story, eh - just trying to give a woman's pov, which is already a lost cause re our poster listening, or so it seems.

I think the gyneco thing clouds everything.

Tiger, do you live in the US? Do you live within range of a teaching medical school? If so, I strongly hope you check in with them, they have clinics.

The thing is that you are already loveable as yourself. You are putting up hate shields, and those aren't a help.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Well maybe you're an attractive woman who doesn't realize that younger men like what you have going on. Is that so freakin bad? So laghably funny that how dare a younger man dare flatter you and ask you out? Boy that guy sounds like a real A-hole! The way he noticed your attractive qualities and got up enough courage to let you know that you're an attractive woman. What a flippin' scumbag! It all makes sense to me now. Of course women should be notfied in advance if a man they deem below them is going to compliment them or ask them out. They need time to mentally prepare for that horrible ordeal. i only hope they can cope with the PTSD symptoms aftwards. Hopfully there's some women's counseling somewhere that can help them work through it.

4 Replies

@SadTiger,

Quote:

I've tried literally everything I possibly can! i can't afford surgery. Won't ever be able to. If I spend money there, no money for food, gas, insurance, rent. I exercise literally everyday.

Had you ever considered medical turism?

There are specialized agencies that can help you plan a trip to a place with good medical quality with cheaper fares than in US.

Even if you add flight fare, hotel and medical bills you will never pay the same bill in the US. For example a laparoscopic Apendix removal surgery ranges here in Mexico from 500 to 1000 at most. On a good hospital and with a certified physician. Many specialists are trained on the US. English is taught widely along Mexican border so language is not a huge issue. And medicine costs are really low. Plus the fact that a trip to another country is added.

1 Reply

@SadTiger,

SadTiger wrote:

Of course women should be notfied in advance if a man they deem below them is going to compliment them or ask them out. T

I'm fascinated that you've assessed the situation completely the wrong way around.

You might want to think about why you ASSUMED that I thought the man was "below" me.

___________

Yup - this is about how you interpret what other people say and do.

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@ossobuco,

Quote:

The thing is that you are already loveable as yourself. You are putting up hate shields, and those aren't a help.

I'm good at hiding my pain. I've had a lifetime of pratice. I'm a popular person. Lots of freinds. No one knows how unhappy I am inside. I hide it very well. I'm a good actor when I want to be. And I don't "hate" anyone. I just strongly dislike female selfcentered ness, lying, and superficiallity.

1 Reply

@SadTiger,

SadTiger wrote:

It all makes sense to me now.

and you got it completely wrong

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@SadTiger,

Bro you sound really angry and bitter.

I am not a handsome man. I was not a handsome teen and of course in college i didn´t got better. I tried to take girls to dates many times and miserably failed. Plus I have my own physical flaws. I have a horrible vertical 50 cm scar on my abdomen that makes impossible for me to go swiming without getting stares.

But we are men. We have no time for self pitty. We are hunters, and warriors. We never stop trying. I never did, i found love i fought for it. And even when i failed i started building again.

Those scars are the trophies of the past experiences, do not transform them in chains that hold you down. Why bother with lame inmature girls? Learn what you need and move on. Always move forward.

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@SadTiger,

You are in denial, you are hating all through this thread and your last two.
Reread all three of them.

I'm not clear you mean it, but maybe.

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@SadTiger,

Do you ever read? women are hit on constantly all over world, quite often raped for fun by groups. Guys yell stuff from trucks. And so on.

A woman might just like to walk down the street thinking of some problem or some idea for some art work, or some resolution of a work situation or just to see the blue sky for fifteen minutes.
But if she waved you off, you would hate.

The world is not all about rejecting you. Please get some counseling.

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@luismtzzz,

Quote:

Had you ever considered medical turism?

There are specialized agencies that can help you plan a trip to a place with good medical quality with cheaper fares than in US.

Even if you add flight fare, hotel and medical bills you will never pay the same bill in the US. For example a laparoscopic Apendix removal surgery ranges here in Mexico from 500 to 1000 at most. On a good hospital and with a certified physician. Many specialists are trained on the US. English is taught widely along Mexican border so language is not a huge issue. And medicine costs are really low. Plus the fact that a trip to another country is added.

Never heard of this. I would be worried about them not knowing as much about surgery. It sounds unsafe, but that's just my initial reaction. i would have to investiagte more. Are things sanitary in the hosptials? I don't mean to be insulting at all. I just have no idea what it's really like. This has given me food for thought.

1 Reply

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