Intimate conversation please help

First we did not hear the audio and from your comments concerning it, you are only assuming it might mean that he is cheating, along with him working a lot more hours.

Now the issues and problems that you know for sure are: treating me like hell, had a hard time even having sex with me, I caught him in several lies.

Most important you do not trust him, so once more you might try marriage counseling to address these issues or you can just end the marriage over the problems you are sure of.

Amusing footnote my wife still bring up my "lying" to her that she did not need a background in the Harry Potter series to enjoy going with me to watch one of the Potter movies.

She brought this up only a few days ago and the movie is many years in the past.

See. I think the audio does. Can you fathom a single circumstance when that would be appropriate?! Seriously? Since then, I have endured his cruelty, me not able to do a darn thing right, my sheer presence annoyed him. But, since I couldn't get him to tell me the truth and since I wasn't satisfied it had no repair, I must be an immoral being for spying. Yeah ok. I gave a couple of decades of my life to this person(including paycheck, cooking, cleaning..whatever). I don't get it. Do you really think all of I sudden I went berserk ? Maybe you do. I know I haven't. I have endured the most painful thing in my life so far. Everything fits.

From all your others complains why in the hell do you need proof of recent unfaithfulness?

See a lawyer and file for divorce.

We have had a lifetime of experiences. I've had the best years of my life beside him. He hasn't been lately himself. I know all long marriages have ups and downs....I don't know maybe I'm simply a fool. So are you saying that since your wife is unreasonable and holding some grudge, since I'm a female I must be doing something similar? I was referring to your strange and misplaced anecdote about Harry Potter.

The Harry Potter comment/story was met to be an amusing side note for the other readers of this thread and not directly addressing your problems.

Now once more if he is cheating or not cheating, given all the other behaviors of his that you are complaining about, should not repeat not be the focus of your attention.

If your complains are valid you have more the enough reasons to end your marriage and or demand of him that he enter marriage counseling with you.

Worrying over if he is cheating or not at this point is similar to rearranging deck chairs on the titanic.

I think you've just confirmed the futility of existence.

an anecdote for no reason whatsoever ? Surely you had a reason and I don't think it was to entertain the last thing that entered your mind. Surely you don't think people are that stupid.

It did have a reason IE amusing others just not a reason that directly address the serous issues in this thread and that is allow and does happen on this website.

In fact I think I did used the word amusing as the first word in the post to flag it as not being a serous post.

So what if you flagged it as amusing...I still think there was another reason behind it and the OP called you out.

The human mind have great abilities to see deeper reasons behind statements even when there is none but the surface reason given.

If I flag a posting as not being of a serous nature and some readers do not wish to believe me that is their right to do even if it seems silly to me.

Yawn. And people can always say things subconsciously or via Freudian slip. Point is it reveals you.

My my shaking my head in mild disbelieves and once more all I can say is that I mark that post as not being serous and if you or any others do not care to believe that disclaimer so be it.

Ok

My hope is that he is not feeling himself.
Like me right now I am happy as a clam! I have butterflies and walking on clouds. Why was he not happy? That is beyond me.
Maybe he is just in love with someone who rejected him?
I don't know, hon, I hope there is hope.

You should definitely ask him about this. By ask i don't mean "confront", just tell him how it is making you upset, and see what he has to say. I know it is scary, he might react bitterly, he might get upset with you, it might have some implications on your marriage. But believe, if you don't ask, it will have even bigger implications. My love is with you.

And he will keep silent like a mule. Then what?

People who are dishonest seldom agree to dismissal of facts. I say if needed get a photo (although ...had would say it's photoshopped ).. Move on.