Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 11:21 am
@CoastalRat,
I want to explain myself...after I am done laughing...I don't know how to quote so I had copy/pasted it.

OMG! You are right! I just checked and I AM a guy!

Did you have to check? I know I am a woman without checking.


Quote:

How can you possibly know what women feeling?
Feelings are kinda universal among all people. Women are not the only ones who have feelings.

I am sure we are more emotional and irrational. And more sensitive. And a lot of other things.

Quote:

And HOW do you possibly know your wife is 100% faithful
It is called love. And trust. Both born from a shared life together and a promise we made to each other to be faithful.

If you are grown up man you must know it is a bull. I had said to myself it is ok to have no sex because others have no husbands at all and I love mine.
I said ok to be together in crazy business. To be together. I had never thought about another man. You can't say promise is a brick wall. It is just a promise. Then love comes and all the promises goes up an ass!

Quote:

My husband have no clue.
I would not bet on that.
He doesn't. He trusts me. Just like you do to your wife. I am a good gal.
Never been bad. Always have his back. Best friend. There you have it.

Quote:

It is kind of...not normal
How so? I'm curious. Please explain how it is not normal?
I can not imagine aged faithful husband is sitting for hours in a forum and reading about people's affairs and cheating and giving an 'opinion'.
Its almost like reading porn magazine here. And here you are. Saint!

Quote:

I see you telling everyone off as if you were saint.
First, I have never told anyone off. I've given my opinion, which was asked for, but I don't tell people off. Second, I am a saint. But I forgive you for not realizing it because you really don't know me.

And Kanye West is a Jesus.

Quote:

Usually saints have more skeletons in their closets than us sinners.
It has been my experience that we all have skeletons in our closet in mostly equal measure, regardless of whether we are saints or sinners. Not sure what this would have to do with my ability or my qualifications for dispensing advice to you when you post on A2K. Maybe you can enlighten me upon that at the same time you explain the not normal statement.

Saint with a skeleton in his closet? Do you know what 'saint' means?
---------------------------------------

Well, it was actually fun. thanks
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 11:35 am
@Eliusa,
By "It" are you referring to the other person? Yikes...I hope that was a typo and not a Freudian slip. Or maybe you are referring to the contact (without other influences) cheating.....sabotaging the results...satisfy yourself and put it to the challenge.
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 11:40 am
@Eliusa,
I hope you mean women are irrational in a sarcastic way...if not you're beyond help.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 12:13 pm
@Eliusa,
This is going to be fun.

Quote:
Did you have to check? I know I am a woman without checking.
I didn't have to, but you know us guys. Any excuse to feel around down there is seized upon.

Quote:
I am sure we are more emotional and irrational. And more sensitive. And a lot of other things.
And I am sure that this is not necessarily the case. Looks like we are at a standstill on this.

Quote:
If you are grown up man you must know it is a bull.
Why? Just because you are not in such a relationship and believe that trust and love have so little value does not mean that others don't value that and have that in their relationships. As an example, if my wife wished to go out after work with male co-workers and was out rather late, I would have no fear or doubt that she was being faithful. BUT, because because she loves me and would not want to give me doubts, she CHOOSES not to go out in such situations. THAT, my friend, is what love and trust is all about.

Quote:
Then love comes and all the promises goes up an ass!
No, sorry, but love is not a feeling. It is an action. I love my wife. She loves me. We put out love into action each day by choosing to love each other. Do we have those of the opposite sex that we care about and are physically attracted to? Of course. (At least I do. I should not speak for her in this manner, but I'm pretty sure she does.) But love for each other precludes us from acting on the attraction and even doing anything that would lead the other to jealousy. Again, that is Love.

Quote:
He doesn't. He trusts me. Just like you do to your wife. I am a good gal. Never been bad. Always have his back. Best friend. There you have it.
Good for you. Now all you need to do is to stop the nonsense with this other guy and work on figuring out the sexual issue between you and your husband. But as long as you continue to think about the other guy, you will find it less desirable to work things out with hubby.

Quote:
I can not imagine aged faithful husband is sitting for hours in a forum and reading about people's affairs and cheating and giving an 'opinion'. Its almost like reading porn magazine here. And here you are. Saint!
There are probably lots of things you cannot imagine. But, just to keep you from imagining things about me, I'll let you know that I am fortunate to have a job that I can jump online at various times during the day and dispense my great knowledge to those who have need of it, such as you. But you will notice that I NEVER post anything after about 4:00pm because that is when I go home and once there, my time belongs to my lovely and caring wife. I've never read a porn magazine (really, I know that is hard to believe) so I would have no idea how reading questions on A2K is like reading porn. But if it is much the same, then porn magazines must not be all they are cracked up to be. And thank you for now acknowledging that I am a saint. There is hope for you yet.

Quote:
And Kanye West is a Jesus.
If this is your belief, then I feel very sorry for you. (Ok, I know it was sarcasm. But I had to comment somehow, right?)

Quote:
Saint with a skeleton in his closet? Do you know what 'saint' means?
I do. Do you?

1 somebody honored by church after death: a member of a religion who after death is formally designated as having led a life of exceptional holiness
2 somebody in heaven: somebody who goes to heaven after death
3 virtuous person: a particularly good or holy person, or one who is exceptionally kind and patient in dealing with difficult people or situations

Nowhere does it say a saint cannot have skeletons in his closet. When you get right down to it, a saint is a sinner who has found forgiveness for his sins.

Quote:
Well, it was actually fun. thanks
Yes, it has been. Thank you.
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 12:13 pm
@Germlat,
It would help if you pointed out which of the 105 'it' you referring to. And no I do not call people 'it'. Especially people dear to my heart
Germlat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 04:24 pm
@Eliusa,
Well, I guess I don't call people "it". That makes it sound like people are simply narcissistic supply...even 105 or 2000 of them. It gave me the creeps.
Lash
 
  3  
Reply Wed 16 Jul, 2014 05:10 pm
@Eliusa,
I had your experience. I regretted it later, and I will regret it for as long as I live. You will too unless you take action for your marriage.

Tell your husband you need him to try something for you because you're not sure you want to continue in a sexless marriage. Ask him to see his doctor and ask about Viagra. Many times, a man can add years to his ability to have sex with a little pharmaceutical help. Also, eating less fried foods and other dietary changes can aid his ability to get and maintain an erection.

Please be kind to him about this. You're just lucky not to have your ability to have sex dependent on a little flap of skin that hangs between your legs. Be his friend and tell him you're in this together. Help him find out about doctors and medicine, and tell him you'll make it worth his while if he'll give this a try.

This other guy makes you feel like you haven't felt in a very long time. It excites you, it makes you lose weight, it turns you on to be the object of desire again. He makes you feel young and beautiful. But the truth is - this is all false. Your husband has been with you through many, many thngs that this other guy hasn't. Your husband is the one who comes when you call for help. Your husband is the one who takes you on - all of you - the good and the bad, the ugly, the grumpy, the hormonal...

Try with the man who loved you enough to stand up and say about you, "This is my wife. The one I choose to spend my life with."

Emotional affairs are dangerous because they are seemingly innocent. Would it be ok to find out your husband had a relationship like this with another woman?

Tell affair man that you are going to focus on your marriage - and do it. Trust me. You'll be glad you did.
Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jul, 2014 08:25 am
@Germlat,
I have no idea what you said. All I wanted to know is which 'it' of my you referring to in your post.
chai2
 
  0  
Reply Thu 17 Jul, 2014 08:37 am
@Eliusa,
Eliusa wrote:

I have no idea what you said. All I wanted to know is which 'it' of my you referring to in your post.


To put this stupid question of Germlats to rest, Eliusa in her initial post said in part....

"We both love our families and having no affair. However isn't it cheating anyway? "

No Germlat, Eliusa was not referring to a person with the word "it". She was referring to the situation.

Now, let this die in peace.....this not referring to a person, but to this idiocy.
Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jul, 2014 09:04 am
@Lash,
I don't know how to explain it but my husband listening to me about everything except when we talk about how I am sex deprived. Yesterday we had a talk and kissed and I whatnot. He just seemed to eager to finish it and go back to a dinner table. And he is happily living always making jokes and telling me I am beautiful in the morning and at night...I can't just deal with this anymore. I mean I will never hurt my family. And I will deal with it but I am frustrated.
All I want to do is have that talk with my flame he is asking for. I am dying to know what is that he wants to say. Maybe he just wants to say we need to be friends or whatever...Is it a bad idea? And what happened to you if I might ask that of you?

Also if I will do nothing but continue to be in love with him (as he said he had been loving me quietly for 5 years and do nothing) - just keeping my butterflies...how would that end? That is my main point here actually...I think I said that in OP?

Thanks dear. And sorry for whatever is that you dealt with.
Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jul, 2014 09:05 am
@chai2,
HAHAHA, chai2.
Thanks. Exactly what you said.
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jul, 2014 07:59 am
@CoastalRat,
Hello again. I went and told husband that I am getting older and I need sex and he said he knows what is it all about. I said yes, I am not denying that flame made me feel alive and I am ready to be unfaithful. We had 'roll in a hay' without penetration because he just unable to get it up! Then we talked and he said I have to sleep naked. Yesterday I had offered him bj and he said wait...LOL and then after dinner he 'let' me to his body.
If he sounds grumpy to you - NO! He is a happy-go-lucky man.
I take care of him well. He is singing and making jokes all the time.
And when these conversations are happened we had it on a good terms...

However my flame is coming back and I am down 15lb. He begging me to talk.
Public place. Is it is sin in your eyes?
eurocelticyankee
 
  2  
Reply Sat 19 Jul, 2014 08:46 am
@Eliusa,
Have you got him tied to a bed ... or have you done something to his ankles?


Here's a song for him to sing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyJfUcyCJ14
Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jul, 2014 08:59 am
@eurocelticyankee,
Your post flew by me. Who's what?
eurocelticyankee
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jul, 2014 09:11 am
@Eliusa,
Quote:
Yesterday I had offered him bj and he said wait...LOL and then after dinner he 'let' me to his body.
If he sounds grumpy to you - NO! He is a happy-go-lucky man.
I take care of him well. He is singing and making jokes all the time.




Hi Eliusa, (tongue in cheek) but I was reading your post (above) and Annie Wilkes just popped into my head.

But I played you a song to make up for it.
Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jul, 2014 09:19 am
@eurocelticyankee,
Well...now I have to google 'Annie Wilkes urghhh
eurocelticyankee
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jul, 2014 09:33 am
@Eliusa,
Okay, but now don't hate me after you do.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jul, 2014 10:03 am
@Eliusa,
Well, at least he seems open to talking about it.

Look, we cannot tell you what to do. We can give you ideas and advice. If he has trouble keeping/getting an erection, then he should talk to his doctor about using Viagra. If it is a matter of just not having any interest in sex, there could be something else going on and again, talking to a doctor may shed some light on it.

Quote:
However my flame is coming back and I am down 15lb. He begging me to talk. Public place. Is it is sin in your eyes?
There is nothing wrong with meeting a male friend in a public place if your husband knows the meeting is taking place. It may cross a line into sin or inappropriateness if you are going there with the idea of continuing to entertain the thought of having an affair with him. If that is why you would be going, then yeah, I personally think it would be wrong of you to go and meet him. Even if he claims it is just to talk.

Your choices are really simple. Stay with your husband who evidently loves you and with whom you have a pretty good life. Work with him to try to solve the lack of sexual intimacy. You married him for better or for worse, so stick with him. Or, walk away from the marriage and take a chance with this other guy. (Or, I'm sure someone will suggest you just get your husband's approval for you to screw this other guy occasionally, but I don't think that would be a good idea and I certainly do think that would be sin.)

Eliusa
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jul, 2014 10:43 am
@CoastalRat,
WOW, I didn't see THAT coming Smile))
Thanks

P.S. Have you ever heard of man too lazy for sex?
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Sat 19 Jul, 2014 01:28 pm
@Eliusa,
Quote:
WOW, I didn't see THAT coming
Sometimes I surprise even myself.

Quote:
P.S. Have you ever heard of man too lazy for sex?
Nope, quite frankly I cannot even comprehend such a thing. But then, all my wife has to do is hint at the remote possibility for sex and I'm there. Even at my age. lol
0 Replies
 
 

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