What if the male cannot remember all the details about an affair?

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50's Male here that ended an affair about a year ago. Trying to work on marriage with wife. Wife wants to know every small detail and fact so that she can understand and move on mending our relationship. I've told her everything that I remember but that's not good enough for her (Since school days, I have excellent short term memory but not so good on long term). She doesn't believe me and thinks I'm hiding something and not want to tell her (not true). She says something is mentally wrong with me. What do I do? I feel my only options are to go to a hypnotist to see if that helps or just start writing a detailed story to give her what she wants to hear (although it would be fiction with me filling in the blanks). Any men experience this? Is it normal? What did you do?

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@endorope,

The core issue is trust which is broken - not the issue with your memory.

If it were me, I'd tell her the details (maybe not everything) the best I can. Remember what you can and if she can't accept that, she's obsessing and feels insecure. This might change with time but in the meanwhile, I'd suggest marital counseling. This might help.

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@Ragman,

Hi Ragman,

Dear Ragman, ...... no offense meant.

Love your contributions and have no issue with advice given. I shy away from giving marital, life or any such advice myself on the grounds of ''what the **** do i know?'' Confused

. But good luck to you, it's well meaning, I'm sure. I'm afraid i just jump on the 'taking the piss' bandwagon every now and then.
My bad.

Anyhow my point, your name... at first i thought to myself this has to be the most unsuitable name for an agony aunt i have ever heard. But.. when i thought about it, it's actually the perfect name for a male agony aunt. Smile

Love it.

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@endorope,

Your wife is missing the most important part . . .

BEFORE the affair is the most important story. What was happening in your marriage that caused you to stray? What was going on between you two? How did you feel then and how are things different?

All those "details" are for naught. She is just curious in a kind of voyeuristic way.

Tell her you don't remember because they weren't that important. Don't let her bully you about these things.

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@PUNKEY,

What Punkey said.

It does not matter whether, during your second encounter with your affair partner, that you had a tuna melt instead of a BLT.

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What if the male cannot remember all the details about an affair?

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