If I was Bush, I would...

blatham:

Wow. Dude, what a depressing article.

Doesn't say much about human nature, eh?

Great article blatham. I think they all need some fibre in their diet, judging by the looks on their collective faces. I just realized that I surreptisiouly made a Lear reference in my last post regarding Bush. Interesting that.

"surreptitiouly."

Now there's a great word. Even better than "stealthily."

I'm almost certain I spelled it wrong in my original post, but it got by the spellcheck.

It would be interesting to see this thread actually get on track. Call me impudent if you will, I don't want to step on the poster's toes or anything, but here is how I might have phrased the question: The current administration does not exist. There is no Bush, no Cheney, no anyone you have read about in the news. The only things that exist are the events that happened after 9-11, leading up to the current situation in Iraq. You are president. What would you do now, and how would you have done things to prevent this mess?

You can't go wrong with Lear references...bill collectors, women...they all get befuddled.

Actually, I didn't find the content depressing. I know enough about my own shoddy interior to appreciate that I too could do those things, given the circumstances.

What is depressing for me is the tendency within group mythologies to assume something else is the case, and to thus head straight towards justification and excuses, or to blame of others (as we are seeing on these threads) for such acts when they occur.

I'll buy the pretzels if someone else pays the FedEx charges to get them to the WH!

justanobserver
justanobserver, welcome to Able2Know, glad to have you here. Your question is especially appropriate at this time.

If I were George W Bush (at this moment) I would announce that I would not stand for reelection for a second term. The result would be that I would no longer spend most of my time campaigning and raising money. I would promise the American people that I would spend all of my time reaching out to Colin Powell and the State Department's experts, bi-partisan consultation with U.S. non-republicans, political, business and religious leaders of other countries (e.g. Nelson Mandella), experts in Moslem culture and its history, to learn how to stop the creation of terrorists. This means treating the roots of terrorism, not just the symptoms.

Once U.S. troop numbers could be reduced in Iraq, emphasis would be placed on destroying the al Qaeda network through military force, financial destruction, and correction of the social conditions that fosters al Qaeda's attraction.

I would work to persuade NATO to take over responsibility for security in Iraq along with U.N. compatible participation advisable. I would work with the World Bank to persuade its members to help finance rapid reconstruction of Iraq and Afghanistan's infrastructure. I would encourage Russia, Germany and France to participate in that reconstruction.

I would have Ahmed Chalabi indicted for fraud and bring him before the bar of justice in the U.S. and, if possible, the World Court.

I would start showing "tough love" to Israel, setting a deadline by which time Israel and the Palestinians must reach agreement to restore the Clinton-proposed state boundaries. If Sharon and Arafat fail to comply with such demands, the U.S. will immediately cease all money and material aid to Israel until such time as compliance occurs. If the parties fail to reach an agreement by the deadline, a coalition of the world's countries under the U.N. will forcibly remove all Jewish settlements beyond the boundaries, and establish a separate Palestinian State. Hopefully, with will make Hamas unnecessary.

(Wow, I'm on a power hungry roll!) So I will keep dreaming. A threat I've always wanted to make to Israelis and Palestinians is that if they don't settle their land dispute, the significant holy religious sites in israel will be bulldozed to the ground and fruit orchards installed in their place. Then we will see who really loves the land and its history.

Then I would turn my attention to domestic issues.

I would replace Richard Cheney as Vice President with Senator John McClain. Having declined running for reelection, as the Republican president, I would encourage Senator John McCain to be the Republican presidential candidate.

I would fire Donald Rumsfeld and all the neocons in the Defense Department. I would appoint Richard Cohen as Defense Secretary, the post he held in the Clinton Administration.

I would fire Condi Rice and all of her neocons.

I would fire Attorney General John Ashcroft and appoint Senator Lindsey Graham.

As leader of the Republican Party, I would replace Majority Leader Tom DeLay with Maine Senator Olympia J. Snowe.

I would hire Blatham as my Press Secretary.

I would hire Cavfancier as White House Chef.

I would hire Jespah as my Chief of Staff.

I would hire Ossobucco as White House Chief Gardener.

I would hire Diane to be my Personal Secretary.

I would hire Edgar to be my speech writer.

With a desire to rehabilitate him, I would send Occum Bill to lawschool and then hire him as my lawyer.

I would hire Sentata as my Librarian of Congress.

I would hire Dyslexia to be my Secretary of Labor.

I would hire Cicerone Imposter to run the White House Travel Office.

I'm tired of hiring, I need a two week vacation at my Crawford Ranch followed by a weekend at Camp David.

That should keep me busy until I'm out of office. Then I would hire Karen Hughes to write my memoirs.

Whew! I'm beat!

BBB

Thank god most chefs are apolitical, BBB. I would happily accept the appointment.

If I were George W. Bush, I would secretly wish for a defeat in November so I could retire to my ranch in Crawford, a sort of deus ex machina politica.

As much as I'd appreciate the offer of education and rehabilitation; I'd have to decline and recommend Joefromchicago for the position. With such an incredibly talented (though too far left for my taste) staff, I just don't think I'd fit the Bill. Joe would be the more logical choice.

Just for a second, when I saw you respond to this thread, I thought the answer would be: "If I were Bush, I'd use my influence to move to Costa Rica, smoke cigars, drink heavily and bang hot chicks." Oh wait...wasn't that similar to Dubya, the early years, before he found Jesus? Maybe you could be president Bill...

Yeah, right Cav,

Like I'd ever be dumb enough to trade your first premonition for Jesus and a shitty job where half the world hates you by default. Fat chance. (NOT phat chance).

It's rather funny to hear how many people think Bush should off himself… Presumably, because you don't approve of his handling of the ME, right? It seems that in this "kill yourself" group, only Hobitbob really thought this through. I assume the rest of you would be looking forward to the changes brought about by the Dick Cheney Administration?

If I were bush I'd keep doing exactly what I'm doing sitting on my throne, gorged with the blood of nations, prideful and untouchable.

Isn't that what the Whore of Babylon is supposed to do?

Seeing as I am not, shall we say 'urban', I'm not quite sure what 'phat' means. I am not in the 'Bush should off himself' camp. That is just ridiculous filibustering. However, I knew this thread would go this way because of the 'Dubya' stigma. The only way to properly address the question here is to go with what I posted previously. Assume you are NOT Bush. You are your own person. Then, what would you do?

bill

Do you have a blue dress?

If I were Bush, I would get a damn good campaign song. I am serious about that.

Neocons are here again,
The platform is quite clear again.
Let us sing a song , No fear again.
Neocons are here again.

Wonder what Kerry's song would be?

Kerry's song:

I threw my medals in the water
coz I don't like the kind of slaughter
I saw in Nam, and that's my story,
vote me in, so I can have my glory.

I swear, Cav.

I believe every one of the politicos have a tin ear.

True story.

Just got a signed photo of Laura and George in the mail.

WOW! They are darlin'

Failed to mention that it was accompanied by a pledge card.

Who's Bush's campaign manager anyway?

We need to apprise whoever of this brilliant plan.

... start a war to avenge the father I subconsciously resent, look the other way while Dick Cheney auctions off the Middle East to the highest bidders, let John Ascroft run roughshod over the Constitution, give Rumstud carte blanche to wage my wars while I go play golf, send Condi out to do the lying and the covering-up, and laugh and joke and scratch and go to bed at nine every night.

Oh wait, we don't need to change places, come to think of it.

I love both of those campaign songs!

No dresses Blatham, can you lend me one of yours?

I didn't mean to imply you were in that camp, Cav. I read your proposal and, honestly, I think that's what the author had in mind in the first place. I think I already answered a similar question on one of Phoenix's threads. Let me see if I can find it.

Ah yes, here it is: Response on Phoenix's thread,
(read this first)

Of course, now that I'm Bush, and I've screwed things up a bit further; some alterations are in order.

1. National, Global address: I APPOLOGIZE for some of the mistakes made by me, the American Troops and policy makers. Explain that I think torture to any degree is horrible, and will not be tolerated from this day forward. We will continue to bring those responsible to justice and punish them accordingly.

I also have to apologize for what I now realize was a mistake on my part, in endorsing the Israeli plan to keep possession of what I called "realities on the ground". Thoroughly explain why I thought what I thought, but have come to the realization that peace will not come that way. Since this was my mistake alone, and I am the leader of the American people, I have a new proposal that I'm sure will be acceptable to all parties involved. The American people are going to reimburse Israel for every dollar spent building settlements on the West Bank, Gaza Strip. We are also going to pay the costs of relocation, minus any intentional damage done to the buildings as you leave them, within the next 180 days. We will also pay $100 per day to persons leaving these territories earlier than the deadline. This means a family of four, leaving tomorrow, will receive $72,000 as you cross the border (hurry). The people of Palestine will get their land back with a great deal of improvements done to it. They will owe not one nickel for the improvements. Since the Israelis will be reimbursed for every dollar spent building on this land, they should have no complaints either. I am going to spend a day with Yasser Arafat and Ariel Sharon, and moderate any changes to my plan they wish, providing they are both in agreement. By the end of this day, the treaty will be signed, or at least be enforceable, regardless. If either Nation chooses to decline this generous offer, they will make an enemy of the United States, and, trust me, you don't want that.

I also think we are getting close to time to declare victory in Iraq. If there are still WMD's, they will be no threat with a democratic Iraqi government in charge of them. Saddam and his henchmen are gone, and it's time to give Iraq back to the Iraqi people. The only thing I'm waiting for is a basic law that guarantees all Iraqi's a voice in their own government. If that collective voice wants us gone altogether, so be it. We didn't come to steal oil. Oil we'll be happy to continue buying on the world market. I would like to establish military bases in the region and in exchange I offer total security and enormous financial benefits. But if the collective voice of the Iraqi people says no, they are within their sovereign rights to do so. I have little doubt that we will find a willing host, in exchange for the security and windfall of financial support we offer.

For the first time; the Shiites, Sunnis and Kurds have united to present united demands and I have every confidence they can continue to do so peacefully. It's a pity their first order of business is to rid their country of American Presence (have the writers make that funnier), (then seriously) but I applaud their unity and will do whatever is necessary to see their sovereign wishes to fruition. One word of caution, first: The American People are done watching Despots murder their citizens from afar. Human Rights will be established and enforced throughout the world. Do not make us come back for this reason.

Time to get with Putin and others and figure out who's next!