So hurt an confused

Yes.
Leave your husband, disrupt your family, devastate your children, put yourself in financial straits, move into a crappy apartment somewhere out of your childens school district, and live in emotional turmoil because your husband went to lunch with a woman, and sent some dirty messages to her.

Tell your husband what you are going through (re insecurities, fears, lack of trust), what your hopes are (eg. that you find love again, that your trust builds back up to what it was etc) and what you need in order to achieve your hopes (that he not travel).

If he cares enough, he will either not travel, or if his job requires it - he will start looking for another job (very few jobs are so specialised that you can't move)

The response will tell you his priorities, and from there you can make a decision on what is appropriate for you.

A few other concepts may help in your decision:

- maintaining your own self-respect is one of the most valuable things we have in life (the consequences of not doing so can be: uncontrollable emotions / suddenly swinging emotions, loss of self-esteem, increased fears etc)

- how you handle this will teach your children what is important in a relationship (eg. it will teach them lessons on whether or not self-respect, self-esteem is important, how to conduct conflict, and how to stand up for yourself...etc)

- we put time into what is important to us (no matter how busy we are). The amount of time shows us the amount of importance.

- we put effort into what is important to us (no matter how busy we are). The amount of effort shows us the amount of importance.

- we put thought into what is important to use (no matter how busy we are. The amount of thought shows us the amount of importance.