Reply Thu 10 Apr, 2014 02:47 pm
Are there instances where cheating is a better option than divorce? I know there are going to be flames for this and I expect them. But I am interested in people who don't see the cheating situation as black and white. Or that the person who cheats is the devil and the person cheated on is a completely innocent victim.

One may say to a man whose wife no longer wants sex that he is breaking his vow to her if he cheats. Or that he wants his cake and eat it too. But what about the wife. Is she not breaking a vow in not taking care of the sexual needs of her spouse? Is she not having her cake and eating it too by being married but not having to provide sex for another person like a single person doesn't? And this goes for men who deny wives sex.

Is it better to break up a home and get a divorce for sexual reasons? If everything else in the marriage is perfect but sex. Oh you say, go without sex. Well, why doesn't the withholding spouse just put up and shut up? Or why doesn't the spouse who doesn't want the sex divorce their spouse giving them the opportunity to find a partner who wants a complete relationship? In my eyes, they are just as selfsih as a cheater. And it kills me that women/men witholding sex from thier spouses expect them to live a sexless existence for the rest of their lives because they don't want sex anymore.

Why is it okay to withold sex but the spouse who goes out to get their needs met is the only one in the wrong?

What say you?
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ehBeth
 
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Reply Thu 10 Apr, 2014 05:21 pm
@URnotalone,
URnotalone wrote:

What say you?


I say I hate that particular phrase.

But, onto the actual topic ...

how do you define cheating?

I don't think sex outside of a primary relationship is that big a deal. I think communication is what matters.

If sex outside of the marital/primary relationship is desired/required for some reason, I think it's important to talk to your partner about it.

Quote:
Why is it okay to withold sex but the spouse who goes out to get their needs met is the only one in the wrong?


seems like you've carried half of an argument in here and are making a lot of assumptions about what people here might think about the issue
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sadinoakland
 
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Reply Sat 3 May, 2014 07:40 pm
I am 38 and ive had an affair with a married man whose wife hasn't had sex with him in fieteen years theyve been mareied for 30 years. I care about him hes been a good friend and I know he doesn't have any love in their marriage but she theatens him with not letting him see his grandkids everyttime she wants him to do or not do simething. He believes hee so he dies what she wants all she does is scream blame him for her bad choices and put him diwn. It is very sad they bith are miserable wuth the marruage but stay why? And I cant bring myself to end it with him because the only joy in life is seeing me. And know all these things abive werent told ti me by him its what ive observed over the.last three years cause we were friends fir a long time before the affair started. What should I do
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