have feelings for a profesor since 3 years, advice needed

no way, you got to be kidding me, how he know? unless he got on this board and read the message I type up here.
am going to confront him tomorrow and see what bother him, I want an answer too, or else this going to bug me, it not fair if he treat me like that in class compare to other student.
and no, I don't stare at him in class neither so how he know that I like him, and no, I don't talk about him to anyone neither, unless he go on this board and read my message.
I will ask him what been bugging him, and you guys got to be kidding me, whether I want or not, am stuck in his class until the end of this semester, if I do go to him for help then who I go to?
I think it the best if I confront him and ask him what has been bugging him. There has to be a reason why.

questions....be careful. Don't underestimate another person's intuition.

(I hadn't seen Cav's post! We're unanimous, then.)

questions, again, read what I quoted. You said yourself that you were getting increasingly reckless, and that it was in danger of getting out of hand. It has. He's figured it out. If you keep showing up in classes and, especially, keep showing up at his office hours, it's not that hard to figure out even if you are not staring at him or otherwise being overt.

He has shown very clear signs of being uncomfortable, and confronting him will just make that worse. Again, it is not an equal social relationship. He has no social obligations to you. He has no obligation to explain why he is uncomfortable, and demanding as much will itself be a boundary transgression that will make the whole thing worse.

So what if you right? What if he figure it out, the problem is. Even if he know that I like him, he should not treat me different compare to other students. Whether he want to or not, or I want to or not, am stuck with him for this semester. I have the right to ask him questions, if am unclear with my homework or anything. Yeah, he can ignore me, but that is not fair. He suppose to treat all his student in his class the same, whether he uncomforable or not. I find this is not fair, when he trying to avoid me, it effecting my learning here.
I will confront him, he don't have to tell me what make him uncomforable, but I have the right to ask. I have to tell him, cuze I don't want to be feelings like this all the time. And important, I don't want him to feel uncomforable neither.

questions, obviously, you can do whatever you feel like doing. But you are explicitly asking for advice. My advice is to just quietly go back to doing your classwork, and if you have a question, consult your textbook first, ask your classmates second (any study groups?), and if you still don't find the answer, ask him. In a focused, impersonal way.

Confronting him will make him uncomfortable, which you say you don't want. It is unlikely to change anything, except for the worse. Get through this semester (not much longer, is it?), then make sure you sign up for classes with OTHER professors, and try to get out of this rut.

Sozobe, we are indeed unanimous here. Why does this freakily remind me of a potential David Mamet's 'Oleanna' scenario?

you are UNFORTUNATELY right Cav.
while before it was just a possibility, now it's more then obvius - question, you are OBSESSED. Many people on that forum suggest you in friendly manner to seek some help if you are not able to deal with it yourself. You refused all suggestions for all questions you asked. That's fine until it affects only you (well, not fine, but your choice at least). When it starts to affect other people it's not fine anymore. If you are not obsessed (like you claim all the time) - leave the man alone. If you are, please, seek some help - you will not be neither first nor last that needed help and asked for it....

questions - you can ask the professor about the homework in the classroom, just after your class concludes. That way you will both be among many other people. You need not go to his office in order to ask about homework, so you don't need a private atmosphere. As for inquiries about engineering, he is not the only engineering professor and, as sozobe suggested, there are also your fellow classmates. So, again, you need not be alone with him in his office in order to get that information.

And anything else you might need to ask him, it's highly doubtful that it would require a personal, private session in his office. That's what's making him uncomfortable. He need not spell it out and you shouldn't need it spelled out for you. You're an intelligent person. Put two and two together - you're spending too much time alone with him (even if the door to his office is always open and you only discuss engineering) and he's figured out that you're seeking him out.

By the way, if he's your academic advisor, I strongly suggest you get another advisor, as that would be another way to have a private conversation with him and that's obviously making him uncomfortable. And if he's not comfortable with you, he can't possibly give you full attention when it comes to something as important as your course decisions.

If you respect this man - and you say you do - you will not put him in this kind of an awkward position in order to satisfy your curiousity and ego. As sozobe said, he is under no social obligations to you. This hasn't changed. Let it go.

OK, I did ask him after class OK, there many students around and he still feel uncomforable. If you guys won't let me go to his office then what is his office hours for? I did not do anything that disrespect him, I don't see why I cannot go to his office hour.
And to let you guys know, I talk to one of the psychology professor I know in school, he suggest me confront him about this. What my psychology say is nothing like you guys, the pyschology said, it is rare for a almost 60 year olds professor to assume that a 21 year old girl love him and professor don't assume unless they know for sure. The psychology said maybe it something that I complain or maybe that I ask him so much question, that why he feel uncomforable, not necessary mean that he know that I like him.
You guys still don't get my point here, the POINT is, whether he like it or not, am his student, HE NOT SUPPOSE TO treat me any different from other student, he not suppose to be unfair like that, even the psychology said it in my face today.
So yeah, am confront him about this tomorrow, you right, he don't have to tell me anything, but I want to say it to his face, so that he know. HONESTLY, you guys assume too much, when you don't even know how I act around my professor, professor are not god, they don't just look at girls and know that girls likes them, and tell me, how rarely is a 60 year olds man THINK a 21 year olds girl love them.

I have no idea if he thinks you love him, but long time professors have certainly had people have crushes on them, or be obssessed by them before. I am guessing that he simply picks up your intensity, your self-control, your selfawareness, your lack of relaxation, and it makes him uncomfortable.
You are very zero'd in on him, whether or not you stare.

Like others here, I just wish you would do the course work and deal with your feelings later. You are very involved in this questioning, and apparently have been building up to it for a few years.

You are expressing great interest in his attitude to you, while yours to him is as you have described quite intense. You may not want to hear this, but in my opinion you are looking to him as some kind of saviour - I know, not even a lover, but as someone who is capable of understanding you intellectually as well as your spirit. You are giving this person all this power since you don't feel others understand.
In the meantime you are isolating yourself from others. This is a prescription for loneliness. I think it would help to talk more with other people, they have intensity too, behind their everyday personalities - listen for who they really are.

I see that you don't really want to hear words that don't support your obsession, and don't mean to be rude with my opinion. But my view is the same as others', you need to get ahold of yourself and do the work in this class and move on.

Am not willing to listen to you guys or you guys not willing to except my view. It my life, so what if I don't move on, that is my business.Like I said, I really appreciate your advice, I come here to ask for advice, and I read all your reply but that don't mean I have to follow what you guys said. First of all, all of you suggest me go to a psychologist right? Which I did, and the advice from the psychologist is that I need to CONFRONT him, the psychologist rather let me confront to him and talk it out both way then just me here keep guessing and he keep feeling awkward around me. First of all, you say I don't listen to you, and now you guys say I should ignore my psychologist and just ignore everything. Trust me, I think my psychologist is right, 60 year olds men don't go around assume that 21 year olds love them. Listen, he has office hours is for people come and ask questions, all my questions is regard about engineer, he has no right what so ever to ignore me. Even if the school know about this, they still say am right, he has office hours, I have the right to go and ask, so what if the school know that I like him, what they going to said? Say that he suppose to treat me fair like how he treat other student, that my whole point here. Professor don't always get all the students they like and they need to except that and deal with it, not run away from it. He OLD, he should know this.
And I will confront to him and get this straight out, if he say it to my face, then I have nothing else to questioning about. Only obssess people sit there and do nothing, I am going to find an answer for me on why he treat me so unfair, I don't run away from the pile and ignore everything and ASSUME an asnwer.

your professor is not avoiding you, he is not treating you differently, you haven't talked with psychologist, it's just a lie made in your obsession.
And no, obsessed people do not sit and do nothing, they are saying and doing EXACTLY what you are planning to do - once again - leave the man alone.
Fact that everybody sees it except you is another proof.

I lie? ok, I lie or not, god know, I know, everyone can say am obssess or even lie, I wouldn't care, am obssess or not, I think the whole school can see that, people online don't see, cuze you guys don't know me or how I act in real life. I make my point clear enough, I will confront him, that the only way for me to stop all my questioning. the best way is confront to that person, at least am getting an answer, instead of sitting around and just assume all my life. and No, am not leaving him alone, until I get an answer tomorrow when I confront him. since you say I lie, then I don't need to leave him alone, cuze this is a whole make up story, then why you bother telling me to leave him alone, didn't you don't belive me in the first place.
For me, communication is importand and it will help solve everything, I don't sit around, I will talk to him about this.
And to the message up there Orleanna thing, you guys are really not making sense, hello, first of all, I don't fail class, second of all, I don't sue him for sexual harrassment like how the movie is, so before you say it look alike, wait till it happen. I bet on it, it won't be like it, cuze it will never happen.

Questions, you are all wrought up about this. We are not all against you, but think you have built a - these are my words - castle of a pebble - and worry for you. We actually want you to pass your class and survive this obsession. You seem to have lost interest in passing the class yourself.

hi questions,
you are being extremely defensive, nobody's out here to get you. It seems to me that you are only listening to advice you *want* to hear, you only came here to justify the approach you already taken. And when you are not getting it, you get angry. Be careful, girl, I think you may end up hurting yourself in the long run, in fact you already are hurting yourself. There is no point to wait for the professor to tell you to leave him alone to your face and for ugly rumours to spread. The fact that you spoke to a psychology professor is meaningless - he or she is a) NOT a psychologist, but a professor of psychology, which is vastly different, b)it wasn't counseling, just a chat, which just doesn't work the same. So forget that, his or hers opinion is just another one in the pool of opinions you already heard. You chose that one opinion against all the others, because it suits you, not because he was a psychology professor. You seem to be very stubborn, so I have no doubt you will confront your professor sooner or later. I wish you the best of luck, because you may not only make him even more uncomfortable, you may make him despise you. If that's the last thing you want, as I would suspect you would, you really should listen to all the sound advice above and back off, avoid direct contact alone with him for awhile. Just another advice, do what you will with it.

I can only hope that this poor professor has the sense to no longer meet with this student one-on-one.

I agree with you ehBeth. Anyway, keep looking in papers where some "poor student" filed lawsuit against her professor for sexual harrasment, with questions's IP which moderators surely have, a2K might be able to save innocent man from obsessed student.

I think the professor is afraid of her. Passive stalking is a very uncomfortable thing to be on the receiving end of.......dangerous, even.

I am not even sure that she is just passive stalker anymore. In every post she reveals more and more, I really wonder what this poor guy has to live through every day. Not to mention that her behaviour is double problem - harrasing man that did nothing to deserve it, and also giving lesser chance to prove sexual harrasment for those students that really are harrased by some jerks.

Does no one else see this? Sounds like time for an intervention.