have feelings for a profesor since 3 years, advice needed

cav, then I apologize, I guess I am under influence of movies and sitcoms where if college student is involved with professor it's something unbeliavably terrible - he will be fired immidiately, and also he will probably burn in hell pretty soon
However, that's what Noddy says too - and I admit that I don't have any personal knowledge about how it is in USA or Canada

Of course, if I wasn't clear in my post I was referring to that exact case - I wasn't thinking that in USA if two people from different jobs/colleges, for example 56 yo doctor and 21 yo college student are not allowed to be in relationship.

That 'terribleness' (not sure if that's a real word) that you describe is more a product of cultural bias, rather than law.

Basically, if these two wanted to get involved, they could, legally, but they would have to suffer the opinions of friends, family and colleagues.

thank you for all you guys input. ofcourse there no way me and my professor going to have a relationship, he never likes me, it just one way feelings, I like him
But I have a question, is this LEGAL right
Example: a college student that GRADUATE from that college already, they allow to marry their professor right? Since they both at legal age and it consensual, the student is no longer at that school, I don't see how can that be ILLEGAL?
I see many cases like professor marry their student when that student graduate, this cases does happen in real life.
Also, am just curious, let say that student used to be his pupil in the past , even though she graduate, she in the past still his student before, and then she graduate and marry him, insn't that illegal since she was his student?
someone please answer that question for me, thanks

Legally, you are free to do what you want regarding this situation after you graduate. Depending on where you are attending school, the policy may be quite strict about student-teacher releations. Still, you are showing serious danger signs here regarding obsession.

Noddy's right. If you become involved with him while he is a professor and you are at the school - even if you aren't in any of his classes - you will get him disciplined at best and most likely fired. This is not what people who love one another do; people who are in love look out for each other's best interests. So if you MUST pursue a relationship with this guy - who will be 70 when you're 35 - you MUST wait until you are completely out of the school. That means graduated and doing other things, or attending another school. Yes, you're both over 18 but a teacher-student relationship is one of the main ways for schools to break their tenure agreements with professors. If your professor friend is at all controversial or doesn't 100% toe the administration's line, a relationship with you will be a very convenient excuse for him being fired. And then, it will not be pretty, as it will be virtually impossible for him to get a comparable position at another school.

Even if all that happens is that people see you holding hands or just talking meaningfully, there will be rumors and the person it will not reflect on well is YOU (there may very well be rumors now, that you don't know about). You are about to graduate and very likely your only or main job recommendations are going to come from professors. If there is even an inkling about the relationship to any future employer, you can write off any recommendation you get from this man, as it will be tainted. And you can probably write off recommendations from other professors, as they will wonder if favors were traded for grades. Even if everything is innocent, the rumor will long survive while the truth will die quickly.

Now, yes, you're not 100% obsessed all of the time, and your grades are great and all of that, but you need not be sleeping on Skid Row in order to be an alcoholic. And you need not be obsessed 24/7 in order to truly be considered obsessed. You are obsessed. There's no denying it - you've been following this guy around from class to class and rejecting possible relationships for 3 years. What does this say to you? Why can't anyone else measure up to him in your eyes?

Men in authoritative positions, particularly in direct authoritative positions, such as teacher and student or boss and employee, can prove irresistably exciting to young women, as Cinnesthesia points out. There is a tremendous power imbalance there. Is it possible you are looking for someone to take care of you? Are you, perhaps, unwilling or afraid of going out into the world of work? This can happen when you are about to graduate - the world can look overwhelming. But that doesn't mean you need a surrogate Dad to get you through things. You'll find, as you experience other relationships, that an enormous power imbalance like this can often lead to disastrous consequences. You're an intelligent woman - do you really want this kind of an unlevel playing field in your relationships?

Oh, I know what you will say. You will say that the two of you are truly equal, and love will conquer all, and how dare I compare him to your father, and you're not afraid of going out into the world, and I don't know anything about him, etc. etc. etc. And you believe all of that and probably some of that is true. But that is what therapy is for - it's to get an objective view from a disinterested party to whom you can tell all of the facts about things. I neither expect nor want you to tell us every single little detail about things; this is the Internet, after all. But we are all suggesting counseling because that is a safe place where you CAN do that.

jespah is right, but it appears this is clearly a one way street relationship. I highly doubt the professor even knows about this 'crush'. That's what bothers me, and leads me towards the obsession theory. Any 'love' in this situation is one sided, and any 'love' anticipated from the object of affection is no more than a fantasy at the moment.

Yes, I agree with you guys. I ADMIT it myself that I can be obssess, rejecting others guy for 3 years and PURPOSELY choose him to be the teacher for my engineer core class prove that am obssess. But if I don't see him, I started to miss him and stuff, let just hope my Senior year go well and I graduate, hopefully when I do and get a job far far away, I can forget him.
My situation not going to get worst, cuze it just one way feelings, he and I strictly just a student and teacher, he don't like me, so I am not worry that this will get out of hand.
But it just not fair in general, example; Why can you and your boss have a relationship? Why can a doctor marry their patient? Why can a teacher marry a student? Why is age different so IMPORTANT?
Call me naive but to me, if 2 person love each other and willing to suffer the world bad mouth about them then why can they be together? THEY NOT BLOOD RELATED, I don't see why can't they be together, as long as it consesual and both legal age, I still DONT see anything wrong with it. Why is your possition in the society matter so much to the point that teacher cannot marry student, doctor cannot marry their patient, boss cannot marry their workers? I just don't get it.

"Call me naive but to me, if 2 person love each other and willing to suffer the world bad mouth about them then why can they be together?"

Sure, but this is not two people in love now is it. Not at least from what you have posted.

Sorry but I don't understand you, what you mean as in now? Am not implying to me or anyone, am just saying in Gerneral, why it is so probitdent? that all, I don't see why they cannot be together if they not family blood related?

Okay, I will clarify. It just seems to me, from what you have posted, that this 'relationship' is not about two people in love, just one, you, with your professor. Nothing is prohibited once you graduate, but I just don't think this situation is "two people in love."

No, am not saying me, I never say he like me, I never say that I will have a relationship with him.
But from what I know, in gerneral, people don't approve relationship like, gay, lesbian, doctor-patient, boss-worker, teacher-student relationship.
That is just my questions, this has nothing related to my topic. I read all you guys reply and I totally understand, I never say I want anything from my professor, it just I don't understand why in the world, they don't approve relationship like that.
Example: A doctor before he became a doctor, he swear by oath that he will never have a relationship with his patient, correct me if am wrong, maybe it not against the law, but it like against the doctor moral.
Same to student and teacher, like boss and workers, gay, lesbian, alot people are against relationship like that.
I just want to knwo why people react so strong on things like that. Is is really a big deal to everyone?

Ahh..okay. Personally, I think that as long as two people are in love, and are commited to each other, it doesn't matter what others think. Personal happiness is more important. Thank you for clarifying that, questions.

woah..
WOAH!!... my advice is to get a bf... and forget about the teacher... IF YOU CAN!!!!

Gay/lesbian relationships are an entirely different subject. Let's not even get into that here, okay?

The reason people are uncomfortable with teacher/student, doctor/patient, boss/employee relationships is because of the imbalance of power, as jespah said. There will always be a suspicion that the more powerful partner has taken advantage of his position and may have undue influence over the actions of the other. That's why.

gay
gay?? what the... i thought we were talking about straight peeps

Adoran2, welcome. In your own way you echoed Eva's post that the 'gay' relationship issue is completely irrelevant here.

I agree, Eva.

I actually came here to say that, but now that I'm here will inject a stray thought -- my husband is about to begin a professorship in the fall, and will be a professor for many, many years. He's tall, handsome, and charismatic (yes I'm biased, but really), and while I also trust him implicitly, I've been reading all of these "I'm in love with my professor" threads (and there have been a few) with some uneasiness. I trust him implicitly, but the thought of his students mooning over him is nonetheless unpleasant.

Just a random thought to maybe give you some perspective.

So what if student like your husband, as long as your husband don't like the student then there nothing to worry about.
There no law say you cannot have feelings for your teacher, you can have feelings, just don't show that feelings out, not getting invole then there nothing to worry

here I completely agree with you question, but problem is that some schools have their policies and those imaginary two people have no solution other then keep their relationship as total secret or risk very bad consequences. I can disagree with that as much as I want, and I can even consider it in my own personal opinion stupid, and this would certainly never happen in Croatia, but in USA it would. It's different culture and different society and it's not up to me to judge. You have some "rules" that I consider "stupid" or can't understand them, and we have some that most of Americans would consider "stupid" or would not understand, such as Church being so strong and so influent that they made politicians forbid people working on Sunday (except emergencies and media).