Is it possible to connect when you meet through e-mail?

Nothin' wrong with meetin' a guy with a sense of humour, Gala. I hope you end up being friends, if not partners. I wonder if he's afraid a big city gal would dump a farmer surrounded by bugs.

Good luck kickycan and Betheh is right she found Mr. Right and her Mr. Right found our Beth. All is well for them for always and always.

You might want to save the fact that you are a drummer for later in the meeting. My mom always warned me about drummers!!!!

ummm, well, uhhhhhhh, i don't actually believe in Mr. Right. I was looking for Mr. Not-too-horribly-annoying, and I found Mr. Pretty-much-always-interesting (and snuggly) :wink: . Good thing I like interesting.

ebeth, interesting that you picked up on the bug thing. he protects his choice as a vanishing lifestyle, which is understandable. and, he's sort of pidgeon-holing me by thinking i crave the pace and choatic swirl of city-living. hence, my calling him an eco-snob.

in many regards, it's a perilious journey, getting to know someone, testing out what you can tell them, that they'll accept you for who you are in the hopes when they do dissapoint you it's for a minor infraction, like forgetting to buy mayonaisse at the store, and not for some insurmountable problem like they're hostile in a passive-aggressive way and don't want to meet you half-way in the relationship.

eeesh kicky,

i just don't see you as someone who has to market yourself...

hmmmm, he doesn't want to meet because you might not be handle the bugs, and therefore there's no hope for the future? has he heard of being friends, and making friends? or was the end line always 'commitment'?

ebeth, like i said, lame- but we talked for a while and that came up, and it was discussed... as you know, signals can get crossed in e-mail. he does want to meet, but the agreement is to take it as it comes- i'm figuring, if by autumn we're still wanting to then that would be a good time. there's just so much territory to cover when you're getting to know someone, and it's rarely smooth sailing- if it were just goiing to be a friendship than i wouldn't be consulting able2know.

plus, i don't believe in forcing things, this was just a preliminary fact-finding e-mail and phone conversation. he's not a commitment-phobe, i get the opposite impression.

LOL Joanne...my husband is a drummer. When we met, he took me to his house. He had this8 piece set of clear Tama drums set up in his bedroom. He asked me if I wanted to hear him play. I said sure (he was the first drummer I ever knew). He blew me away. He put the 8 track (how old is that LOL) in the player and started jamming to the long 'Longtime'. I was blown away. He went into a trance like state while looking in my eyes. That boy had rthymn.

I've been listening to his drumming for the past 18 years. Yeah, they're loud but I wouldn't trade those beats for the world. As a matter of fact, he's playing them now to the Hoobastank CD.

Good luck kicky. I hope she is as intruiged with you and your drumming as I was with my guy. Tell her up front that you play. Some women would find drums a pain in the ass to be around. If she doesn't appreciate your musical talent and your choice of instrument...she isn't the right girl for you.

Have fun and don't do anything I would do kicky. :wink:

doglover, if you weren't, like, a gurrrrrrl, i'd have to say i love you.

you said 8-track! i thought i was going to be the only person at a2k to ever use that phrase.

Okay, first I have to clear this drummer thing up. I am not a drummer. I don't even know how that got started. I play the guitar sometimes, but that's beside the point.

I just got back from my first "date". I want to ask about this one part. She was talking about having to have something to replace smoking for her, since she just quit recently. And then she told me how she broke up with a long-time boyfriend a few months ago. So she says something like, "no smoking, and I don't drink, and no sex . . . I need a release." And it definitely felt a little flirty.

Was she coming on to me, or was she just telling me she's bored?

Before we went out I told her about my longstanding sex buddy. She didn't approve of it, and wasn't even sure she should go out with me at all. But she hesitantly agreed to meet anyway. That's why I think I might just be misreading this, but I think I felt something there.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I'd say that was a flirt!

It's not your imagination, kicky. That was a come-on.

am i such a dimwit that i don't think what she said to kicky was flirty?

i need some facts here, kicky. how did the date end? did you enjoy yourself? did you have enough similar interests to talk about, and did you enjoy it?

are you just looking at this as an opportunity to have a casual poke? or are do you want more? forgive me for being so analytical here, but i'm not getting how what she said to you was flirty. you know, body language, eye contact, blah, blah

It was more of a friendly first meeting than a date, and it was a casual diner-type place. When she said it she was looking right at me, and she smiled a little bit when she mentioned sex, and when she said she needs a release. I could just be projecting my horny fantasies on her, but I had the feeling there was something more going on.

But,

The date ended with a hug. She said she thought we had some things in common, and that I should call her to go out again to a movie or something, but that we should just be friends for now. So maybe she was just testing the waters to see how I'd respond? I didn't bluntly offer to help her out with her need for release, because we had only known each other for about an hour! I may have missed an opportunity there . . .

As to whether I want a casual poke or something more . . . I want more, but if a beautiful girl wants a casual poke, it is physically impossible for me to turn that down.

The rest of the "date" was about what I expected. Decent conversation, a couple minor awkward silences, but overall, I enjoyed talking with her, and we had some things in common.

Decent conversation, smiling, a hug, encouragement to go out again.
That sounds promising.

Maybe she's testing the water for herself, as well as you, kickycan.

If you had a good time, and it sounds like you did, do it again. You'll learn to spot her flirting signals - and to interpret her hints.






(and it does sound like flirting to me, but flirting sometimes just means flirting)

i have one more question; how did my thread become mr. kicky's thread?

oh, well, 'll just go with it.

kicky, that's a better explanation. yea, it sounds like she's being playful. guess you're going to have to follow up on the movie to find out.

LOL kicky...I thought you were a drummer cause of what Joanne said! Sorry to hear you aren't a drummer. If you were you would have so much more sex appeal. <sigh>

Sounds like you felt chemistry with her kicky. Take her to a movie (whose picking...you or her) and a nice resturauant afterwards. Good luck kicky. If you guys hook up, I guess our Saturday night broom closet tyrsts will end.

Gala...good luck with your cyber friend. I hope the interest is still there come fall and you two will finally have a face to face meeting.

eBeth...LOL...reading your post makes me want to buy flowers and make out with random people

thanks doglover, but as you can see, this is now officially kicky's thread...

I'm sorry, Gala. Okay, I'm done now. Thanks for your input, everyone.

hmmmm

and I thought gala was the drummer.

Let us know what happens with the eco-farmer, gala.