@JeanAwesome156,
I've just read your more recent posts, and I'm flabbergasted. For allegedly honest people, you and your husband have a hard time being honest, particularly with doctors.
Quote:And, we don't know the cause of his impotence because he refuses to speak with his doctor about it. He is diabetic and takes insulin, plus a couple heart meds because he's had congestive heart failure 5 years ago. He has chest pains every time he climaxes but refuses to tell the doctor that he's having chest pains at all! I worry that he may not be healthy enough for the sex that he so desperately wants.
He refuses to talk with his doctor about the cause of his impotence? Or the fact he has chest pains when he climaxes? And you're worried about his "pouting"?
And you're risking a possible stroke, by not telling a doctor you've already had a stroke, so you can get HRT, which isn't really helping you anyway?
It's time you and your husband began acting like intelligent adults. For starters, you've got to be more honest with your physicians. Your lives may depend on it. And you should both want to be around to see your grandchildren grow up.
Your husband has to speak with a doctor both about his sexual dysfunction and his chest pains--there are methods of treating both. And, you've got to make sure he does those things, because you love him, and you'd like to have a full life with him, and grow old with him. If need be, tell him you don't want to have sex with him until he sees a doctor about those chest pains/angina--and mean it. This is not something you should be humoring, it's too serious. Similarly, there are many causes of sexual dysfunction, which can be treated, and, since your husband is able to experience orgasm, his basic apparatus seems to be working quite well. He needs to let a doctor help him deal with the type of dysfunction he is having, which could have a variety of causes, all of which would likely be amenable to some type of treatment.
And you've got to speak with your doctor about the HRT, and the risks it poses, and whether you should continue taking it, given your past history of stroke, and the fact it isn't doing much for you anyway.
Quote:He jokes with me about getting me a vibrator, but I blush at the thought of it. But, if there's a way to stop the oral sex all together I'm all for it!!
The way to stop the oral sex is just to stop it. And tell your husband it's just not working out well for you. You're both having problems that affect sexual functioning, and you both have to address those problems separately and together. He's got to start by talking to a doctor, and you've got to start by thinking about vibrators, and lubricants, and sex toys, and sex games, and sexual pleasure, without blushing, or becoming embarrassed about it. Sexual feelings are natural, and normal, and healthy, and there is no reason that you should not want to enjoy, and enhance, these feelings as much as possible. And, the more you are able to enjoy your sexuality, the better it will be for your husband as well. It's not just about stopping the oral sex, you need to try to find some sexual pleasure, if you can, for your own sake, simply because these are sensations that make us feel good, they add another dimension to life. And they are wonderful to share with a partner. So, stop blushing, stop being embarrassed, and start feeling more adventurous. It's fun, JeanAwesome156, and that's the part you're missing. You are entitled to have fun with this.
So, get your husband to a doctor, and don't take "No" for an answer. Go on a sexual strike if necessary, or tell him you need him to do this if he loves you. Do whatever it takes, just make sure he talks to a doctor about both his chest pains and his sexual problems, and go with him, and make sure he does that. You can help to give him the emotional support he needs to talk with a doctor about these matters.
And then go see your own doctor about the HRT and the list of meds you are on for depression and anxiety.
There is a good deal of help available for both the problems you have, and those your husband is experiencing. Neither of you should deprive yourselves of seeking such help. And, if you weren't looking for help, you wouldn't have posted here.
If you're smart enough to be on the Dean's List, JeanAwesome156, you're smart enough to tackle these problems in a better way than you've been doing it. Go, girl!
