What causes an affair to gon on for 3 yrs if theres no emotions?

You wish there was no emotions!!! Lol!.. Stop fooling yourself,. There is an emotional and physical attachment after 3 years... How do you think their relationship made it to 3 years ? I have emotional feelings for my lover, and I will always love her,. It's just this are the cards were dealt, and must make due. My wife knows I'm in love with my lover. How could she not,. It's evident that I won't leave my lover after three years. My wife can either leave the situation, or shut up and put up with it until I'm done. Point blank period. She can whine and complain, my lover isn't going anywhere,. real truth I speak here.

Am I a douche because I fell in love with my lover, or because I won't divorce my wife or is it both?

It's sad, and wrong I know.... But the reality in these situations is that the spouse becomes no more than your best friend. You do unfortunately keep them around because of comfort and familiarity. Something to fall back on, for if/when the affair ends.

And sorry, but I'm not leaving my children... That's the only thing really keeping me from getting a divorce. Don't want to hurt my children, they are very young and have no idea what's going on ....

Unfortunately my wife is upset because I have feelings for someone else, she could have taken things better had I just had a one night stand (now that is a booty call with no emotions) but I however, I am having a 3 year and counting affair, and have acquired feelings/emotions to the point where, no matter how/what I have to do,. My lover will forever be a part of my life. Even if I have to settle with us just being friends..

Nah, it's 'cause you're busy having your cake and eating it, too, on the back of your wife's labor and good graces.

Your wife won't leave you? Oh, really? Have you told her the nitty gritty details? Have you informed her that you are using her income and biding your time and happily not paying for two households because you're too chicken to man up and get out of your marriage?

Your wife may think differently when she learns in detail just how much you're using her.

As for your children, they may know more than you think. They are likely in tune with the situation between you and your wife being less than fully affectionate.

What a prince, he puts up with his boring wife because he has to save face and can't tell his family or friends that he's an unfaithful cheat. Awwwwwwww, that's almost the sweetest thing I've ever heard. The other almost sweetest thing I've ever heard was he can't tell his wife he doesn't want her because HE would feel bad. Plus she cooks, cleans and has a paycheck and parents the children (you don't babysit your own children). And he suffers like this because he refuses to leave his children, that's an interesting way to say you don't want to pay child support.

No I've gotten irritated with her on many occasions, and told her just what I feel...One time my wife called my lover, and I let her have it! She better not mess with her ever again, or she will see herself on my porch, asking to get in.

She can say what she wants to me, but she can't say a thing to my lover. For some reason she doesn't want to accept it, and continues to do what wives do... fusses and complains, threaten to leave (which is what we want, so my lover and I won't have to pay for a hotel room)... I use the time when she gets mad and I send her to her mothers, and then invite my lover over... When my wife returns, my lover and I just move the fun down the street to the nearest hotel.
You only keep the spouse for convenience, sorry. You don't want to ruin someone's life,. But unfortunately my feelings aren't the same for her, and that by itself has seems/seemed to ruin her life,. In this case, I am damned if I do, and damned if I don't! And rather than go through her crying, begging, whining, calling me douche bags, evil, etc... It's cheaper to keep her.
Look, you lose attraction to your spouse, if it were not so,. I wouldn't still be with the same lover for three years and counting...

I think you are making all this up, I call bullshit.

Call it what you want... It's my life and how I feel. YOU don't want to accept my truth,. So why are you on here... ? I thought this was a forum where I can speak anonymously , so that I can air out my problem and express myself .. Glitter, no ! One would wish this was bullshit, especially my wife... Too bad it isn't bullshit... My life and my wife would be so much better if that were so.

Unless you are Lisa , I believe she started this thread. You folks can lead dysfunctional lives, if thats what makes you happy. Air your problems as much as you want. I'm not convinced you really aren't making this up, but here's the deal, it makes not a wit of difference in my life. Be miserable, be happy, it's your half assed life.

ChurchKei is so infatuated with his story that he/she started their own thread. It's identical to all the dysfunctional stuff written here. I really don't know if either the OP or CK is truthful, but either way, I'm officially bored. I don't have the stomach for soap operas either, I find them depressing.

You are obviously being cheated on or have been cheated on....
And the Truth and light that I bring, hurts doesn't it? Sorry ~

I decided to make my own thread, so that people can understand what it's like to be in the mind of a cheater... So hopefully people won't fool themselves into thinking something that's not real...

Most people would like to think their mate still wants them, and that's not always the case because they stay with them, after they cheat.

And Glitter hoes, Don't have to like what I have to say,. So the Glitter did the most perfect thing,.her dumb ass Stopped reading, then went somewhere and shut her ass up. Now everyone else can Carry on<~ ...

And why the hell do I need to make this **** up for? This is an anonymous thread you idiot,. No one has to lie! That's the whole purpose of being ANONYMOUS you nitwit! So you can express yourself without anyone knowing who you are and judging!!! Why are you on here if you think people are lying anonymously? Please explain.

Yawnnnnnnn!

Yawn all you want to,. But I see your stupid ass is not answering the question.
It's evident that my story strikes a nerve within you. Lol! My apologies if I hit home somewhere..

I can't help you, your life sounds like a soap opera to me. I prefer peace of mind. I actually don't know why people settle for situations like yours, but at least it's what you like.

Yeah, it sounds crazy... But that doesn't make it any less real. And it kind of Irritating to know that, my life story is being taken to be unreal. I don't understand,. Either I have a beautiful written ability to narrate with such detail that it sounds like a script or this part of my life is just that messed up, lol! ...

No it's never anything that I'm proud of, or exactly comfortable with....
I don't feel good hurting someones feelings at all! I do have a heart... But I also want, want I want ... And unfortunately people can't except that from you. That's why I and most people end up cheating .. Because I am trying to get to to someone that I want, without hurting my wife's feelings for wanting them.

I as a cheater, have learned to compartmentalize my situation. I understand that although I have these feelings for my lover, I will never be able to be with them beyond what we do sexually. It isn't that I don't have the desire to. It's because of all the elements of hurt that would come along with making that decision. I would not force the decision on my lover either. That would devastate our mates, and our children will suffer greatly... But we still can't stop wanting and longing for each other, even though we know and understand the consequences applied. It burns, and it's hard to let go... Especially when you know you have to eventually. I give the truth from my soul... #From the #heart of a #cheater.

Nobody's trying to stop you. You are living in a situation that some people would consider undesirable. But you seem to be ok with it and get angry when others find it hard to believe.

You are right, this site is anonymous, so you can write what you want, just like everyone else. You may be able to hurt your wife's feelings. But you can't possibly believe you have that effect on anyone else. Are you happy with your situation? It sounds like you are, so who cares what anyone else thinks?

You totally don't get it Glitter,. The point went over your head...

Note to self! .... It is evident, that the audience for which this topic speak to.. Has either been cheated on or is presently being cheated on... My life story touches to close to home and the reality of things are too much for some to handle.. My apologies all.. I will go and find the forum for the cheaters. Goodnight.

You're right, I don't know what your point is supposed to be. If you want to think everybody is in the same situation, knock yourself out. I'm happy with whatever you tell yourself.

nice

Oh, I see you have gotten plenty of crap here!
I thought you are just about to...LOL

Like I told you before people here are holier than us.
They live honest perfect lives but only thing is missing in
their lives is thrill of cheating! Otherwise why would they spend so much
time in this forum reading about cheating and beating heck
out of cheaters having no idea what they are talking about.
Because they have NO idea that that brick 'new love' can hit
anyone of them in the face just about...NOW!
They think they are immune and some even saying it
'It can't happen to me because I am immune to this stuff'
How stupid!
Like we were asking for this to happen to us, right?