Daddy has a harbor seal
He bought him on eBay
From some guy named Ratzenhofer
Who's laughing to this day
Daddy has a harbor seal
Gus's laughing don't you see
Booked the seal a first class seat
Then shipped him C.O.D.
Daddy has a harbor seal
Who always flies first class
With a wave of a flipper
The attendant fills his glass
Daddy has a harbor seal
Who joined the Mile High Club
Had his way with some bunny
He picked up in a pub
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
It has a speakerphone
It cannot speak, nor can it dial
But it loves the dial tone
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
Making up for time that's lost.
It just mailed off its manuscript
So keep your flippers crossed.
Daddy has a harbor seal
his book is in the mail
in six months or so
the good guy will prevail
Daddy has a harbor seal
Who writes and writes and writes
He drops his line in the U.S. mail
And hopes a publisher bites
Daddy had a harbour seal
Whose fleece was white as snow
And every place he took that thing
They shouted "Albino!"
Daddy has a harbour seal
It swims beneath the water
It doesn't pop its head up much
But it shocked the bosun's daughter
Daddy had a Harbor Seal
It's on a twelve state tour
peddling that book of his
is something of a bore
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
I hope it doesn't end
It has made me laugh so hard
I think I've lost a hand
Daddy has a harbor seal
It has a golden tooth
And when he goes to restaurants
He always wants a booth
Daddy has a harbor seal
With a lot of stories to tell
And if we bother it too much
It'll tell us to go to hell.
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
I find it quite amusing
With only four short simple lines
It got my ribs a'tickling
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
I hope I'm not too late
To make it in that famous book
Please make them hold and wait!
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
I can't quite make it stop
The lines go on and on
My head's about to pop!
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
Seal that Daddy in a Harbor
By the time Mommy finds him
He might have an odor.
daddy has a harbour seal
that we find pretty nifty
witness all these poetry lines
that passed a hundred fifty
Mommy loves Dad's harbor seal
Especially when he's away
It's funny to see a harbor seal
Rolling in the hay
Daddy has a harbor seal
to wash and fluff and fold
It swims inside the Maytag
'though the water's kinda cold
Daddy has a harbour seal
He keeps it in a pen
He throws a bucket water
And a fish in now and then
Daddy has a harbor seal
With a degree in comparative lit
That explains why he writes so much
And why he works part time down at McDonald's and hopes to make assistant manager someday.
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
And it is rather fat
It's just a seal that can't say no
'You want extra fries with that?'
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
I swear Dad don't know nuffin'
The perfect food for Harbors Seals
Is a Micky's Egg-a-muffin.
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
Who's on the Atkins Plan
Gets his fish now from the health food store
At seven bucks a can!
Daddy has a Harbor Seal
That looks so slim and svelte
It isn't on a diet
It just tightens up its belt.
