Embarassing problem and I don't know where to turn

billiejean.

I posed the question about talking to him for a reason.

It seems you listen to what people suggest.

That can be taken two ways.

In any event. The day you found cum on your bed and caught your son, there, and your top un-done and your breast exposed is the day you "should" have discussed councelling.. He is not 14, 16, 18, 19.. He is 24.


If this is real, why did you wait for more to happen? And, why did you feel the desire, to do as you did to your husband?

I appreciate you are a victim but he has always stated " But Mum I have fantasized and you have stated, he almost did it, or he did something and I knew, before".

Where does that blame therefore lie in totality?

If this is real, you need to also tell your Son you knew what happened before, take the responsibility of for what ever reason, being excited at the anticipation that you expected and keep it going for hours, yourself, like I said, after the alcohol would have started to warn off.

And if not? Then understand, people are there for you and then, they are not fools either..

What ever is the reality, don't be shy to write back... Things do happen like this, that is reality.

I'm new to this forum writing and just found it by googling what happened. Someone suggested that this may be a fake letter. I wish it was. But no, this really happened. My son didn't come home last night and he won't take my calls now. He was living with me to keep his expenses down until he graduated from law school or he wouldn't be living with me. What happened before, I kind of ignored it . Now I know I shouldn't have. I just pretended it didn't happen. I am now worried sick.

BOTH of you crossed healthy boundaries, and now you need to put some real space between you both until you can discuss this, preferably with a counselor. The shame of all this is going to really be a problem for both of you.

Insist that he move out ASAP.

He may have been in a blackout, you seem to have a real recollection of what happened.

You don't seem to be angry with him, You need to be a real authoritarian parent here, and insist on a physical separation. Pack his clothes and stuff up and tell him to get them.

And because of the nature of this, I'd not discuss it with anyone except a counselor, who will honor your privacy. I have a feeling that there have been more incidences that you have not dealth with.

Is he your biological son?

What difference would that make? They are supposed to have a mother/son
relationship regardless.

What worries me here is that your son forced himself upon you. What if he has done so with other women too? Being drunk is no excuse to rape someone. Many people drink one too many in their lifetime, but committing a crime while drunk is seldom in the cards. Your son seems to get violent when drunk, a very dangerous combination, even more fatal for someone studying to be a lawyer.

He clearly needs to get help - and his first visit should be to an AA center
followed by therapy. Give him no alternative, threaten him to go to the police if he doesn't comply.

I'd suggest counseling for yourself as well. I can understand that you
were more a friend to your son as a mother given the young age you had him, but that's always a bad idea: kids can have tons of friends, but only one mother and you have to be one.
Be a mother now and force your son to get help!

I had a locksmith change the locks and I packed his things with some help from a male friend of mine. My friend is staying with me in the house and I had to tell him what was up and he is just dumbfounded also. I sat his things in the garage for him to pick up.

He is my biological son.

He still won't answer his cellphone and I have called all the people I know he hangs around with, and no one knows where he is. I am worried sick and at the same time pissed and confused. I am jumping from one emotion to another. I want him to be okay, but I don't want to see him at all. Then I think about when I gave birth to him and how a sweet little boy he used to be. I am just sick. I keep feeling like I am going to vomit any second and then the nausea goes away and I start crying. I am so lost right now!!!

Yes he did Rape me. He was on top of me until he penetrated me and he was holding me down. Maybe I gave in because I was scared, I don't know. But I let him do things to me and I did things to him I should have not, I know. He went down on me and I could have stopped him. I went down on him and, oh my, I still am dumbfounded at myself!! I am actually feeling suicidal.

But I will not kill myself. I am just venting what is going through my mind. I don't want him to hurt himself either!

When are you going to see someone?

Who is with you now and why are they leaving you alone?

By the way, I don't think we want to hear any more details. We get the picture.

I'm kinda surprised that we've stayed perv free this long, really...

best you don't hang out alone for a while, billiejean.

and Monday, please call someone about getting some professional help with this...

I don't understand why Billiejean is "venting" on-going now, to us? When she has someone with her to talk to.........

all things in good time, grasshopper...

make some popcorn, whydon'tcha...

haha.

Do you know how hard it is to "not" speak?

Hand me a glass of wine please....

That's a really good question, FS.

And why did we need to hear all the intimate details? She could have just left it at 'had sex'. We don't need (or want) all the gratuitous information.

Well, if we were to disect this just a little, like just a little.

No, not yet.

Then again, um...

No... better not, yet...

Oh heck, I can't work out why you find cum on your bed, say nothing at all to your son, who knows that he left cum on your bed, so you know before he tells you that he fantasizes about you, you even use the word incest or is that someone elses tag? And, then you also get involved for hours, and do things that you would only do with your husband and ....

Get excited maybe? Because talking in graffic detail, IDK..

Oh my indeed!

I am calling fake again, and also if not "pervert", "sympathy troll".

you're such a sweetheart, comtrex...

almost french even.