Cut your hair, ya damn hippie!

@boomerang,

She got her ears pierced for her 9th birthday. She'd been asking for longer than that, but that was when I thought she was responsible enough to take care of them. I did have to do some support, but overall she's been pretty good about it.

Every sport she's been in requires that they play without earrings -- basketball, softball, soccer... (forgetting something). But all of 'em.

That happened to me too with basketball, I got my ears pierced and before the waiting period (when you have to leave them in) was over I had a game, the mean ref made me take 'em out anyway and it was really hard to get them back in. Like, stabby bloody horrible hard. But I did.

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@boomerang,

Well, yeah, or you're doing the silent thing.

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Aw. Kids go up so fast these days and Mo sounds mature for his age. Mr.B might just want to be keeping him a kid-kid for as long as possible.

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@sozobe,

I believe that piercing of ears, + smoking or other visible acts of rebellion
r expressive of the biological imperative to mature n to be independent.
In the presence of others, this is a point of pride.

If thay were living alone on an island,
it is very unlikely that thay 'd care about such things,
without an audience to impress.

Maybe the reason that I never smoked nor mutilated
my body is that I had nothing against which to rebel.
I knew that I was free to do whatever I wanted.
Accordingly, I wanted to remain home most of
the time, living a very conservative life.

David

1 Reply

@Irishk,

Irishk wrote:

Aw. Kids go up so fast these days and Mo sounds mature for his age.
Mr.B might just want to be keeping him a kid-kid for as long as possible.

If so, then he shoud be very affectionate,
to make up for that restraint.

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

I don't know about 10 year-old boys. They might think shows of affection are yucky, especially if they're 'older' 10 year-olds. Girls are another story Smile

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@Irishk,

Irishk wrote:

Aw. Kids go up so fast these days and Mo sounds mature for his age. Mr.B might just want to be keeping him a kid-kid for as long as possible.

Ya, that is why they say that 26 YO is the new 18 YO Drunk

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@hawkeye10,

And the 8 yr old is the new 16 yr old, right?

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@OmSigDAVID,

Piercing of ears is not necessarily an act of rebellion, David, and even if you're on an island alone, it doesn't mean you aren't creative or have a funky sense of fashion. I had my ears pierced when I was 11 and I had my mother's permission, so there was no rebellion there.

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

Piercing of ears is not necessarily an act of rebellion, David,

That 's true, for girls; it is paradigmatic.

Mame wrote:

and even if you're on an island alone, it doesn't mean you aren't creative or have a funky sense of fashion.

I think that fashion is to impress on-lookers.

Mame wrote:

I had my ears pierced when I was 11 and I had my mother's permission, so there was no rebellion there.

Understood and agreed.

David

1 Reply

@Irishk,

Irishk wrote:

I don't know about 10 year-old boys.
They might think shows of affection are yucky,
especially if they're 'older' 10 year-olds. Girls are another story

Well, as long as it is not in public.

but, u know: in another century, I attended a psychological
"Intensive" symposium administered by Nathaniel Branden,
for treatment of my obsession with a certain young lady named Joyce

Some of the other customers were emotionally loud in their objections
and lamentations of the absence of parental hugging.
( That did not include me. )

David

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@boomerang,

Every basketball leauge I played in required that earrings be removed for games. But that's just a couple of hours...

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@patiodog,

patiodog wrote:

Every basketball leauge I played in required that earrings be removed for games. But that's just a couple of hours...

R there any basketball leagues that u have NOT played in
that require that earrings be inserted into ears ??

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@OmSigDAVID,

Fashion is not necessarily to impress onlookers. I dress the way I want when I plan to stay home for the day... maybe I feel like wearing a flouncy skirt and some dangling earrings. Not all of us run around in sweats or pj's when we're at home. It's all up to the individual. Although I will say that an 11 yr old wanting to wear anything in particular is probably subject to what his/her peers are doing.

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

Fashion is not necessarily to impress onlookers.

That surprizes me.

Mame wrote:

I dress the way I want when I plan to stay home for the day... maybe I feel like wearing a flouncy skirt and some dangling earrings.

If u r ALONE???
May I ask your reasoning??
I can understanding dressing for warmth or personal comfort.

Mame wrote:

Not all of us run around in sweats or pj's when we're at home. It's all up to the individual.

It is indeed; the issue (of curiosity) is the Individual 's reasoning.

Mame wrote:

Although I will say that an 11 yr old wanting to wear anything in particular is probably subject to what his/her peers are doing.

I dunno; looking back, I don 't think I cared what anyone else wore.
( I remember, when I was about 9, my mother said [about my going to the store to shop]:
"David, u can 't go out looking like that! What r people going to THINK!?"
to which I answered: " I don 't give a damn what anyone THINKS.
I care what thay DO, but not what thay THINK " and on my way.

I have since altered my sartorial philosophy somewhat.)

David

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@boomerang,

Quote:

I don't think she's suggesting that I ignore Mr. B's opinion.

I think she understands my frustration with having to back up a decision that has no real rational basis.

I guess we'd have to hear from her to be sure

Yes, I meant something close to that, boomerang. I certainly wasn't suggesting you ignore Mr B.

I said:

Quote:

If you & MR B are going present a united front on any decision to do with Mo then you absolutely need to know the reasons for his thinking. Say nothing of have a say in any joint decision. I absolutely agree.
I understand your frustration (verging on exasperation?). All these years of supporting Mr B's position on this, while not knowing his reasons why, is a bit much, really.

Also I was sympathizing with you.
It is hard to be supportive & present a united front when you don't have proper insight into your husband's thinking on the matter. (But that's why you started this thread, to try to gain a bit more insight into his reasons for the adamant "no". )
-

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

I'm discussing it here because I'm not discussing it at home.

yup. I caught that later. Thats why I WAS scratching my head. I mis read it as you were essentially standing next to him TELLING mo.. " hey dude. do this and you can get it done"..
baahh.. anyway. sorry about that Smile

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@sozobe,

The coaching thing might carry some sway with Mo.

We were talking a bit about it yesterday and I suggested he ask his coach if it was a problem. Mo pointed out that his friend F. plays lots of sports and has an earring and it hasn't been a problem for him.

He's actually asked F. a lot of questions about it: Did it hurt? How long did it take to get used to it? How did he convince his parents to let him do it?

F. clued him in to a lot of stuff. Including that a few kids had made fun of him when he first got it done (F was in the 2nd grade when he got his pierced). That led to a good conversation about how Mo might handle that.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

I think timing matters re: piercing + sports. We timed sozlet's so she had a good four months before she had a sport where she had to take them out. (This was pre-basketball.)

Then she was fine. A bit of a hassle, not nothing, but fine.

The problem is when you have to take them out for a sport before they're ready. (I think the usual cut-off is at least 6 weeks, with 8 weeks recommended.)

Meanwhile, what's Mr. B's current thinking?

I can think of many possible reasons why he's opposed, but who knows which one actually applies to him.

If he's having a hard time articulating why, maybe just ask him if there are any circumstances under which he'd say "yes," and what they would be.

From what you've said so far it sounds like maybe it's the ongoingness of it that's the issue, the meta stuff about asking for this, maybe even more than the pierced ears themselves. I know that happens to me, I just don't like the way sozlet asks for something and I say no for that reason.

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@ossobuco,

I've never done the silent thing. I'm pretty confrontational.

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Cut your hair, ya damn hippie!

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