@aidan,
Quote:Again, this sounds to me like you're living in Alabama or Mississippi in the 1960's. Gracie and this young man and young woman live in California in 2011.
Racism, and racist attitudes were never confined to just the deep South in the U.S., they were just more obvious in that neck of the woods. And laws prohibiting inter-racial marriage in the U.S. were not completely struck down until 1967, which really isn't all that long ago.
While inter-racial dating is more common than it once was, and is generally viewed far more favorably than it once was, it still isn't very frequent, and it still can generate negative responses and reactions from others which can affect the couple involved--particularly in a high school. Identity issues are very prominent in that age group and there are strong peer pressures toward conformity, and peers subject each other to all sorts of judgments and forms of harassment, sometimes subtle, sometimes quite blatant. Even in racially mixed or racially diverse high schools, students tend to segregate themselves in the cafeterias by racial groups--they tend to congregate with their own racial group.
That does suggest that they tend to be more comfortable with what is most familiar to them and with people who are most like them. Race isn't just a matter of complexion color, racial groups in high school share common cultural influences, common experiences, they may simply have more in common with each other than they do with students from other racial groups, and just as they wish to sit with their own group in the cafeteria, they may wish to date within their group. Such a choice isn't necessarily "racist", it's based on a variety of factors which determine social comfort.
And, while Gracie does live in California, a 2006 report by the Civil Rights Project at Harvard University found that California has the most segregated schools in the country--meaning that the races are not mingling all that much in the schools, possibly due to differences in income levels affecting residential patterns, or possibly due to racial groups choosing to cluster together in certain residential areas, or a combination of both. And Gracie has told us that the school she attends is overwhelmingly white, so an inter-racial couple in that environment is going to be unusual and is going to get noticed. And that does add a layer of social stress to their lives that a racially homogeneous couple might not experience. And Gracie has told us that this couple is already getting some reactions, like stares or remarks.
There seems to be an assumption that's it's mainly the white parents who would object to their child dating someone who is black, probably because it is assumed that the whites are racist and are viewing the black child as somehow inferior or undesirable for their child to date. In fact, it is the black parents who are far more likely to be resistant to their child dating someone of another race.
Quote:Racial Differences in Interdating Patterns
But the Gallup survey also found that teens thought some interracial couples—always involving a black partner—faced potentially greater friction from their respective racial and ethnic groups about their relationships. For example, while no more than 11 percent of the teens surveyed thought a white-and-Hispanic or white-and-Asian couple would be ostracized by their respective racial or ethnic groups, about one-quarter of those surveyed said that a white and a black student dating each other would face problems from other white or black students in school.
Given these figures, it's not surprising that Gallup reported that black students faced the highest rates of resistance from their parents over interracial dating of any group surveyed. Among students who had dated interracially, at least 90 percent each of white, Hispanic, or Asian students said their parents acquiesced to their relationship. But only 59 percent of black students who had interdated said their parents were comfortable with their dating. Ludwig says such parental wariness is not unusual, given blacks' dimmer view of the state of U.S. race relations.
"People's view of how things are going in terms of race relations in this country is really distinctively colored by their race," he says. "The experience of living as a black person and as a white person in this country is quite different, despite substantial progress since the 1960s."
http://www.prb.org/Articles/2005/USAttitudesTowardInterracialDatingAreLiberalizing.aspx
I'm not sure I'd view those black parents as being racist because they resist the idea of their children dating outside of their own racial group. Their attitudes may well be based on cultural issues rather than any traits or innate characteristics they are attributing to other racial groups.
I agree with you that young people are much more accepting of multicultural relationships than previous generations, and that's a good thing. But racial tensions, particularly black/white tensions are far from resolved, and it's better to be realistic about that, and address it, than to claim it's all behind us. If anything, I think that Obama's election has made some of those tensions more evident because I think some of the antagonism directed at him clearly smacks of racism. And inter-racial dating, particularly black/white dating, can still stir up strong feelings in both racial groups that can make life more difficult for 2 high school students, particularly in an almost all white school. And that probably would not be the case if they were a little older and on a college campus, simply because there is less scrutiny in that type of environment.
I'm undecided about the mother in Gracie's opening post. She didn't object to her daughter having this boy for a friend, her concern surfaced with the idea of dating, and that's why I'm inclined to see that concern as possibly due to feelings that her daughter, or the boy, might suffer negative social repercussions if they dated. Or that her daughter wanted to do something that would turn out to be needlessly complicated. Maybe this daughter is fairly rebellious and is deliberately trying to provoke her mother by doing something relatively unconventional in that particular school. If that's true, the mother's remarks would simply be a way of saying, "Can't you just behave like everyone else for a change?" Clearly, this mother does not dislike the boy involved, she knows him, and she's likely not making negative stereotyped assumptions about him based on skin color or race, and that's why I'm not jumping to the conclusion she's racist. I think her comments may reflect something about the mother/daughter relationship in this case rather than her feelings about another racial group.
That's cool that you and your nice are soo close. Its sweet that she helps you since your eyes arent soo good. What's wrong with them? You've probably metioned it in some posts already huh? I've gotta keep up. Anyway, Im hoping you guys were just interesting and that caused the attention.
Idiot! And good for her winning in court! Sorry about the assault though. Was the assault because of a racist person too?
