Ark Building 101

If you had lots of balsa tree logs, you would simply have to lash them together, for a great raft. Then build a house on top. It's simple, actually.

More helpfule advice, edgar. Thanks.

I went to sleep at around 3 in the afternoon. A nap. The sun was shining. Woke up and it was raining--again.

I think I'm too old and decrepit to get this ark off the ground, so to speak. The spirit is willing (sorta), but the body is not cooperating.

Of course, by body rarely cooperates. I try to work around it, but that's easier said than done.

Where in the hell do I find balsa wood? Was that the raft material from Kon Tiki?

That's it! Balsa logs! The original Kon Tiki now reposes in a museum in Oslo. Let's get Cyracuz to sneak in some night, pilfer the lumber and send to NYC posthaste. Brilliant thinking!

Nice try Andy. I visited the Kon Tiki raft when I was in Norway. They were applying some kinda treatment (poly-something or other) to preserve it. I doubt that it would still float.

And it's just a tad too small.

Needn't get it off the ground. It will rise - hopefully.

This time, don't forget the unicorns.

Channelling my 4 year old self...

What floor is your apartment on. You may not have to launch it at all, just wait till the water rises to your level and shove it out the balcony, if any. Don't know if anyone dealt with the basics asked yet or not, but a cubit is about 18 inches.


Everybody who sings that seems to have learned it from Dave VanRonk, but I couldn't find a vid of his version, which was definitive.

Hey, gang. I appreciate the thoughtful musical interludes. But the sound on my computer is nonoperational at the moment. I can only dream. But you guys can listen and enjoy.

I'm gonna need two unicorns. Don't know where to find even one.

I'm on the eighth floor, and my plan all along has been to build the ark so that it sticks out the window. When the water is high enough, we'll just start floating.

I'm frankly stunned at the quality of the drainage in this city. We've had so much rain that you'd think that by now the water would be at least over the curb. Nope. I checked. It keeps draining away--except for a gigantic puddle on the corner. It's been there for months.

BTW, Jack, cubits have been discussed. I'm sticking with feet and inches. But thanks for the thought. If you bring up gopher wood, I may scream.

If there is gopher wood, then might there also be hamster wood?

Hamsters gonna be put to work to power the Ark?



There 'aint no free rides in life!

Why ask me? Seems to me that you'd know more about hamster stuff than I would.

If I have to rely on hamster power, I'll never get off the block.

They must have been! Because they all have animals! It was a miracle. Can you please not bring the liver this time please?

Ms Bunny, Are you suggesting that I perform surgery on all the animals with livers? Won't do a bit of good. Baby animals will be born with 'em, assuming of course that the parents survive without 'em.

I'm having enough trouble finding planks (I don't go out much), let alone unicorns. You don't want liver, don't have any.

As for your miracle, I'm telling you that people didn't go schlepping places they didn't know existed to find animals they didn't know existed. Maybe it didn't rain everywhere.

If my parents were around, they would attest to the fact that I drove them nuts when they told me or read me bible stories. I had a lot of questions they didn't have answers to. I liked the Noah story because of the animals. But I had more than the usual number of questions on that one.

You know, I think I'd take the easy way out and just save the fish.

Then how are we to have cheeseburgers and pork chops for dinner?


That's odd, it just got cloudy again...

sturgis says:


The only way I cas see it happening is by cheating: take more than 2 pigs and cows. But be careful, god is a jealous god and he just might smite you. Better take lots of fishhooks instead.

ok, Roberta, ready?

Gopher wood.

No, I'm sorry. Definitely needs more oomph. Here we go again. Gopher wood.

Better, better. Still needs a little more shrillness in the high end, though. Keep working on it.

Reminds me of the cartoon I saw years ago - animals loading onto the Ark and a chicken says to another chicken, "Oh yeah, then why does he only have two of everything else and dozens of us chickens?

You people are impossible and incorrigible.

Two pigs, one cow/one bull, one chicken/one rooster.

Monterey Jack, I hate to admit it, but the screaming/gopher wood business was an empty threat. My screaming days are over.

Instead of that caulk stuff, can I use Elmer's glue. I've got some. Looking to save a little money.