26
   

Why is Divorce preferable to adultery?

 
 
maxdancona
 
  -1  
Wed 8 Jun, 2011 09:35 pm
@Ionus,
Quote:
It is easier to lose a partner due to death than divorce... at least if they die you can grieve without being attacked by them....Zombie apocalypse being excepted . And you get all their money without going to court... and the kids....


This is the creepiest post I have read here.
Ionus
 
  0  
Wed 8 Jun, 2011 10:22 pm
@maxdancona,
Quote:
This is the creepiest post I have read here.
Perhaps you need to read less and get out more . Perhaps some examples from my friends ?

A) One woman waited till he was in a war zone and then left him .

B) One woman hated his guts but realised she only had three years to wait till she got his pension . So she became very nice, picked up the sex and waited . Can a wife be a prostitute ?

C) One woman wanted the kids, then when she found a new boyfriend who didnt want them, she murdered them .

D) One woman changed states so he couldnt see his kids .

E) One woman didnt like him anymore because he was PTSD veteran, left him with the kids and he suicided .

F) One woman wanted him to continue in his business so she could have the lifestyle she had become accustomed to whilst she divorced him and went through a mid-life crises ******* everything on two legs .

If someone dies, you still feel loved and have loved . If they divorce and it turns bitter, you feel like you wasted your life loving someone and trying to figure out when they stopped loving you, if they ever truly did .

Then you fight over money, and usually the kids because women dont want the father to see the kids, they just want him to keep paying for them . Women cant give up the kids . They feel socially obliged to keep them, even if deep down they dont want them . If women were equal, the half the time the kids should go to the father .

I know of one instance where the equivalent of intensive care had a young boy in it for psyche reasons because as the result of DNA testing he found out his dad was not his father . She didnt know who the real father was . Her solution ? The DNA test shouldnt have been allowed .

Sex is not only a tool, it is a two edged weapon . And what do some women recommend to save marriage ? More ******* outside marriage..... I think that is more genuinely creepy .

dlowan
 
  1  
Thu 9 Jun, 2011 02:50 am
@maxdancona,
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  3  
Thu 9 Jun, 2011 07:59 am
@maxdancona,
I would rather my spouse leave me than cheat on me. It would mean he respected me enough to be honest and not make a fool of me behind my back. It is important to try to make a marriage work, I think - but living a miserable life and raising your children in a sad, angry, inauthentic environment is worse than just being a good dad to them after a divorce.

Staying together "for the children's sake" is many times a horrible thing to do "for them." They'd prefer close relationships with both parents, who aren't living together in misery.
Lash
 
  1  
Thu 9 Jun, 2011 08:01 am
@engineer,
Agreed!
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  1  
Thu 9 Jun, 2011 08:07 am
@Eorl,
Then, you have people who already had children and will no longer be spreading their biological material about...but who like each other so much that they want to wake up in bed every morning and lick each other.

If he ever wants to lick anyone else, I want to find another licking partner who wants only me.

That licking and contorting and loving, for some people, is only good if it is exclusively shared. If he wants to share it with someone else, my world cracks.

0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  1  
Thu 9 Jun, 2011 09:36 am
@Ionus,
Perhaps some examples from my mutual admiration society?

Quote:
Perhaps you need to read less and get out more


I don't know about the 'get out more' part, but reading less has always helped provide ample support for your "mentality", Ionus. You thrive on reading less and comprehending almost nothing.

Quote:
maxdancona: This is the creepiest post I have read here.


You ain't seen nothing yet from Ionus.
Ionus
 
  -3  
Thu 9 Jun, 2011 05:19 pm
@JTT,
Quote:
but reading less has always helped provide ample support for your "mentality",
But I read a great deal, psycho.... Was that your best guess ?

Quote:
You thrive on reading less and comprehending almost nothing.
How did you come to this wrong conclusion ? Let me guess... because you think if you find some fool on the net who believes the same as you then you must be right.... what was that you said about comprehension ?

Dont forget the war crimes by the great satan . I am sure you could fit them in somewhere . You do realise you are very ill...don't you ?
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  0  
Thu 9 Jun, 2011 10:25 pm
@Lash,
Quote:
I would rather my spouse leave me than cheat on me. It would mean he respected me enough to be honest and not make a fool of me behind my back. It is important to try to make a marriage work, I think - but living a miserable life and raising your children in a sad, angry, inauthentic environment is worse than just being a good dad to them after a divorce.


You are setting up a false dichotomy. It is certainly possible to decide to stay together for the kids in a not sad, angry or inauthentic environment. Staying together for the kids entails making a decision to not be angry or inauthentic.

I know a couple who both knew their had marriage failed years before they divorced. The divorce happened right after their youngest kid went to college.


msolga
 
  3  
Fri 10 Jun, 2011 12:08 am
@maxdancona,
Quote:
Staying together for the kids entails making a decision to not be angry or inauthentic.

But how can such an authentic decision actually be reached, max?
If (similar to the post you're responding to) the two adult partners in the marriage have different notions & expectations of fidelity in marriage?
Do they both decide to refrain from relationships outside the marriage until the children have grown up & left home? For the good of the children.
What if one partner continues to indulge in extra-marital relationships while the other is totally opposed to infidelity in marriage? How can feelings of anger and inauthenticity not exist for that partner in such a situation?

I am not arguing with the research that tells us that children are apparently better off if their parents stay together.

I am wondering how an authentic arrangement, which is fair to both adults, can be achieved in such circumstances.

0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  -1  
Fri 10 Jun, 2011 12:35 am
One reason for the modern increase in divorces is the instinct where the female gets children to an age where the extended family can look after them, and then moves on to find other males to mate with . Whilst this may have been a good idea several million years ago, when brain sizes were steadily exceeding birth canal width, and good breeders were very much in demand, we seem to have caught up now with a better relationship between the two sizes . The extended time of childhood that we now have, means more parenting demands on the parents, especially as we no longer have extended families .

I think there is a good deal of immaturity in wanting to hump everyone . Marriage is about maturity and responsibility . If you dont like the responsibility of raising children, or of getting married, then dont do either . Stay single, have yourself desexed and **** till you cant walk . Its a free society . As soon as you have one orgasm you are looking for your next... the fatty of the sex world . Personally I wouldnt want to spend my life like that . I have enjoyed feeling loved and being special to someone.... not a pile of keys on a table hoping I get a good looking one .
msolga
 
  2  
Fri 10 Jun, 2011 01:45 am
@Ionus,
Quote:
I think there is a good deal of immaturity in wanting to hump everyone . Marriage is about maturity and responsibility . If you dont like the responsibility of raising children, or of getting married, then dont do either .

You know, Ionus, I don't disagree with you on that, particularly about the responsibilities toward children. I just think it should be an equal responsibility, that's all.

So if you thumbed downed my post (not that I care that much about such things) you haven't read what I've posted too carefully.
Ionus
 
  -1  
Fri 10 Jun, 2011 02:30 am
@msolga,
But I did read your post carefully, and I know that we agree on that point . Perhaps you need to talk to the person who thumbed down my post, seeing we are in agreement .

Quote:
I just think it should be an equal responsibility
I have changed my share of 5 kids pooey nappies . And due to irresponsible women who went off for different strokes, I still look after them . There are many women who insist on having the kids even though they dont want them, they just feel obliged to have them . If the kids go with the mum, they have a much higher chance of being murdered .
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  2  
Sun 12 Jun, 2011 07:59 am
@maxdancona,
I think it's horrible to stay together because of duty when the marriage is torched. If you stopped loving your spouse, how can you "decide" to be happy? Anyone who could do that, never knew love.
JTT
 
  0  
Sun 12 Jun, 2011 09:17 am
@Lash,
Quote:
Anyone who could do that, never knew love.


I agree, Lash. But one who immediately loses love just because a partner has an affair also never knew love. A person like that only knew a figment of love.

How many came before it really doesn't matter just as long as you're the last
Mame
 
  1  
Sun 12 Jun, 2011 09:26 am
@JTT,
"just because a person has an affair"... there's no 'just' about it. It's a crappy thing to do to someone and if you want to carry on with someone else, have the decency to end one relationship before starting another.

And you don't stop loving someone when they hurt you, but you can get over it and them eventually.
JTT
 
  -1  
Sun 12 Jun, 2011 09:31 am
@Mame,
Yes, there is a 'just' about it, Mame. You're just too insecure to allow for it.

It's never as simple as you want to see it, as you want to make it out to be. Again, it's just your own personal insecurity talking.
JTT
 
  0  
Sun 12 Jun, 2011 10:03 am
@JTT,
Quote:
if you want to carry on with someone else,


Just to set the record straight, I was not envisioning the above, Mame, though such a situation shouldn't be dismissed out of hand.

After all, we are talking about love, are we not?

0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  2  
Sun 12 Jun, 2011 09:21 pm
@Mame,
I agree with Mame. If a lover hit me, I wouldn't immediately lose love. But I would immediately leave. Same with cheating.
Ionus
 
  1  
Mon 13 Jun, 2011 02:05 am
@Lash,
Does that apply to women ? What about throwing a drink over someone ? I have had two women hit me... I rose to my full height and said " Are you sure you want a fight?" On both occasions they suddenly looked very frightened and apologised . There is NEVER a need to hit a woman unless you are preventing a murder .

I have had two divorces due to cheating... it seems difficult to find someone sexually active enough but not promiscuous .
 

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