Does that apply to women ? What about throwing a drink over someone ? I have had two women hit me... I rose to my full height and said " Are you sure you want a fight?" On both occasions they suddenly looked very frightened and apologised . There is NEVER a need to hit a woman unless you are preventing a murder .
I have had two divorces due to cheating... it seems difficult to find someone sexually active enough but not promiscuous .
Sounds like there's something wrong with YOU - two women have hit you and two wives have cheated on you - ever think about what you're doing to attract these types of people or what you're doing to contribute to their behaviour?
It's not difficult to find someone sexually active but not promiscuous - lots of people are faithful. When you want to find an answer, look for the common denominator - in your case, it's YOU. You're picking the wrong people and/or you're someone they want to cheat on.
And we weren't talking about hitting, anyway - we were talking about adultery.
Anyway, on topic: I certainly would not sacrifice my happiness by staying in a marriage where my husband was cheating on me for the sake of my children's possible unhappiness. That is one of the most inane suggestions I've heard. If you're not happy, you're not to be in much of a state to ensure your kids are happy.
We all have our own lives to live and just because you give birth doesn't mean yours is forfeited for your kids' lives. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and part of a parent's job is to ensure they have coping skills.
You could have a loving, stable home but the child could be bullied or mocked at school; they could lose a friend to a sudden death; their dog could get hit by a car; their bike could get stolen... goodness, the list is endless. Since you can't control these events, just make sure they can cope with what life throws at them.
0 Replies
engineer
2
Mon 13 Jun, 2011 07:07 am
@maxdancona,
maxdancona wrote:
You are setting up a false dichotomy. It is certainly possible to decide to stay together for the kids in a not sad, angry or inauthentic environment. Staying together for the kids entails making a decision to not be angry or inauthentic.
Not so much false as realistic. Can two people agree to be "married", have a happy home life and date others while providing a loving environment at home? Sure, I'm sure you could find the occasional example. Is that how it usually works out? IMO, no, at least in my culture. One spouse is going to become aggreived. The result plays out in the family dynamic. As someone pointed out earlier, this is all cultural, but in the case where one parent feels significantly wronged, I don't see how that doesn't poison the family dynamic.
0 Replies
JTT
-1
Mon 13 Jun, 2011 08:56 am
@Mame,
Quote:
Insecurity has nothing to do with it; it's a trust issue.
Trust issues can be worked out, Mame, but for you, it seems that insecurity can't be.
Quote:
Would you stay in business with a partner who stole from the company?
As with all issues, it depends.
The big difference that you seem to be missing is that in one of those relationships, there's supposed to be a thing called love.
Love... it's a different animal to everyone. Just because we view it differently doesn't mean I'm insecure anymore than you're naive or stupid. But your comments definitely show you to be a twat.
Of course it's different. To some, it's just having someone by your side that you can greedily hold on to. But that doesn't make it love, Mame. That's just live in dating.
I love him/her so much, I'd die for her/him! What? He/She had an affair! He's/She's toast.
'greedily' hold on to? You're so weird. See how you add attributes to people's lives that you don't even know? First I'm insecure, now I'm greedy You don't know **** from shinola.
Of course it's different. To some, it's just having someone by your side that you can greedily hold on to. But that doesn't make it love, Mame. That's just live in dating.
You just feel this way because you haven't met "the one" yet, JTT!
Sorry, I'm being silly.
Please excuse the interruption & carry on...
Of course the victim is at fault...if a woman gets raped, by your logic its her fault ...right ?
Quote:
ever think about what you're doing to attract these types of people or what you're doing to contribute to their behaviour?
Does that apply to women who are raped ?
Quote:
It's not difficult to find someone sexually active but not promiscuous - lots of people are faithful.
Even when you are away for months on end ? I bow to your greater experience of military life . What percentage of people are faithful in a marriage ? I would hate to think all this info pouring out of you is just your imagination .
I take it if two men hit you it would be entirely your fault . Yep . Sounds like the problem is YOU .
I saw you dancing out the ocean
Running fast along the sand
A spirit born of earth and water
Fire flying from your hands
In the instant that you love someone
In the second that the hammer hits
Reality runs up your spine
And the pieces finally fit
And all I ever needed was the one
Like freedom feels where wild horses run
When stars collide like you and I
No shadows block the sun
You're all I've ever needed
Baby you're the one
You don't know **** from shinola.
