ok, who farted?

Not me . . . i suspect it was one of the dogs . . .

the Amih chose today (80 degrees) to spread cow manure over their fields. Its a once a year cocktail of earthy straw and rotting cow feces. Each year I keep asking why we live in the country and I keep getting the same answer "Its for the other363 days that they dont spread manure"

I drive past a dairy farm, going to work. With a bad wind it can be pretty tough. For some reason, skunks always pick that part of the road on which to be run over. Fortunately, it's not one of your bigger dairies.

This could turn out to be a very popular thread.

So what's the big deal?
It's a normal body function. She's not acknowledging it as anything different.
Your choice of how you want to react to it.

Having just had my gall bladder removed last Wednesday, I feel I can speak to the farting issue with some authority. Farting was a competative sport in my family, so growing up I thought it quite natural and possibly worthy of Olympic inclusion. I come from a long line of Irish farters. Although I realize many might think it juvenile, I firmly hold to the theory that it is impossible to laugh too much at a fart. All this, mind you, comes from a retired children's librarian and dignified leader of services at the Unitarian Church. So you see, my friends, first smeller is the feller.

Oh hey guys, don't get me wrong, I LOVE to fart.

I just cut one this very second.

Why did this person not download their noxious gas before she invaded my turf?
THAT's the question.

She had to of known she was fixin' to cut one, the question she asked wasn't important enough to rush in holding her cheeks together. She could of stunk up her own territory.

This, means war.

OH....war. That changes everything. Get on an elevator, blast a real stinker, and walk off just as she gets on. Or.....let me think about this.....

I'll be waiting with bated farts mags

chai2 said


Fox smells his own scent first.

Oh . . . wait . . . you are saying she held her fart and then let it go in your space?

Beyond passive agressive.

Pick your teeth in her presence.

This thread is like a miracle to me, who has a poor, very poor, sense of smell.
I've never smelled a fart. I think I didn't like it when I went into the women's bathroom at the Tijuana bullring in the mid sixties (El Cordobes the matador) with girlfriends, but not as much as my friends hated it. I was a so called script girl (a ploy to keep me out of the convent) on my father's industrial film for Armour that pulled me into stockyard after stockyard and I smelled.. nada.

I smell stuff once in a while. Have been tested for it, have smelled maybe ten things out of 150, but poor at identifying with confidence. Alternately, I didn't have any kind of practice sessions, ever. As in, who knew.
I don't happen to be able to smell gas.

Picture me as a garden designer. Well, I wasn't bad, as I can read what people like or hate and hear what makes sense together - and had other virtues. But, let's say it was a flaw.

The good news is that I can smell a general wonderfulness in some italian delis.

So, the world of fart jokes is like a space movie to me.

Don't forget that farts are not merely olfactory, but auditory as well. There are the silent but deadly variety, of course, but a really fine fart should also shake just a hint of plaster dust down from the ceiling. Volume counts.

Frankly chai...you probably should have made a big stink about it...

The reason farts smell is so that deaf people can enjoy them too.

I have sympathy for the noisers.

Which brings up, Noises Off - was that a play?

how can you enjoy Italian food with no sense of smell osso? There are so many subtle variations that underlie the garlic and wine and heat.
I like the use of lemon zest in a clams and white sauce. The white sauce has a couple of secret ingredients that add complexity. Lemon zest and dry sherry.

yes, it was a play

oohh!!

a thread after my own heart..