Hospice vs Palliative care

dys- Have you spoken to the hospice person about getting more meds for the pain? There is no reason why you should have your "bad" days, if the pain is properly controlled.

Loved that picture of the bridge. What a gorgeous spot!

Ditto, mostly. I can relate, kid. One's expectations are significantly lowered when one is only too aware of the reality.

I'll take a "better" day anytime.

Going by what I've seen on Six Feet Under, you won't be the center of attention during the cremation proper. If you have an open casket, your funeral home will make you up all pretty and drive you off to the oven after the ceremony. If you have a closed casket, it won't matter what you wear. Either way, your cremation usually won't be going to be what some American-Indian, Indian-Indian and the ancient Germanic people have. Unless you specifically want it, people probably won't see you burn in the crematory. And when you come out of it, your survivors get your urn. So, if you have any grand-children, and if you want to bequeath them an urn that goes "clonk" when they shake grandpa, make sure to wear a nice, metallic belt buckle. Other than that, who cares?

EDIT: Got it. Cardbord urn over the bridge. So it's definitely a matter of "who cares?"

just home from the Doc, big question answered, Yes I meet the criteria/eligibility for Hospice in-home care. Will have intake interview within a few days with the staff. The various options for "comfort" medications will be discussed etc.. I am feeling some relief but at the same time dealing the the finality of the diagnosis. From this day forward there will be no curative medical interventions.

hugs, pops...

We are with you, all the way, on this journey.

What Phoenix said.

That "no curative" probably scares you more than it does me. Did they explain exactly what that meant?

Thinking of you both.

I hope very much you have a lot more freedom from pain and better days.

What dlowan said.

It's not necessarily that final. Did you read Art Buchwald's hospice memoirs by any chance? Buchwald spent months in a hospice, but ended up recovering for a while, left it for his home on Martha's Vineyard, and wrote his last book there---those very memoirs. I'm not saying that's what will happen to you, just that these things are never carved in stone. No matter how many days you have, I hope that you will spend them in as much peace and comfort as you can.

Take comfort where you can find it.
Friendship, love, nature, medicine.
Take it.

As scripture has it:
Yea, though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, I shall fear no evil
For I am the baddest son-of-a-bitch in the valley.

yeah, doc said today "by doing this I am saying you are expected to die within 6 months" to which I replied "If I'm still alive, am I required to suicide?" She said "no, it will mean I have to do more paperwork to reinstate you, or you could just suicide, I hate paperwork"

Doc asked me today if I get out much, I told her "last time I was out was when Debbie Lowen was here from Oz. Doc said "suicide ain't so bad."

There's a script for a CSI Albuquerque somewhere in this story. Opening scene: A cowboy is found lying dead in front of his hummingbird feeder. It's murder. The Albuquerque police department is mystified. But after 55 minutes of false starts, dead-end investigations, and commercial breaks, they solve the mystery: It was the doctor. She wanted to get rid of the paperwork already!

Cowboy
Hummingbird feeder.

Lemme work on that a bit.

Natural though it may be to focus on the transition from "curative" to palliative care, the fact is that most "curative" treatment for the things that do kill most of us is merely to slow the progress of various degenerative diseases. In short the distinction may not be all that sharp in reality. I think Thomas' advice and reference to Art Buchwald are apt and useful. We all have a terminal disease called life, and live our days not knowing how many remain. Most of us manage to put that out of our minds much of the time, but you are in a situation in which that delusion may no longer be available.

I think about you a lot old friend and wish you and Diane well.

Dear Thomas I'm so glad you got to visit Chaco Canyon, I hope I played a role in that.
bob

georgeob, I suppose you and I have agreed on little yet we have remained friends, I don't suppose I can ask for much more. At this point I am sad that others have declined that friendship/compassion due to political ideology.

I have such mixed feelings. I'm very glad you're getting the care you need. But, I am very sad to think about what that means.