Hospice vs Palliative care

You have already grandkids, dadpad?

@Dys, how are you feeling today?

Lady Diane bought flowers yesterday, need to be planted today.

That means your job is not done yet
I'll call you tomorrow morning....

just off the phone with C.J. delightful conversation....anyway, my pursuit of information re hospice is not based on "I'm preparing to kick the bucket" it is based on my therapist suggestion I look into my alternatives which is what I've done and that has led to to my clarifying legal/medical/financial issues that should be resolved for anyone. I have learned some new info and have tried to spread the info to others who might need it at some time. wishful thinking such as "well I plan to just die quietly during the night leaving no issues unresolved and especially to have unresolved issues that one might think, are, in fact, resolved. It all can be quite complicated especially for those left behind without clear legal directions as to what you want to occur at that point in time when you (being dead) have zero impact on what actually happens. Perhaps an uncomfortable topic but a need that should be addressed when one is capable of addressing such issues.

According to the Hospice Foundation of America, approximately two-thirds of hospice patients are over the age of 65. There are many circumstances that suggest a person’s need for hospice care, including, but not limited to:

Alzheimer’s disease
Cancer
Cardiac disease
Pulmonary disease
Parkinson’s disease & other neurological diseases
Renal disease
Liver disease
Stroke
ALS
HIV/AIDS

A possible quandary, though my first marriage lasted 19 years and we had a daughter (I have not seen or heard from since she was 3 years old) my ex left the state to avoid the court order demanding ordinary visitation, changed our daughters name and (illegally) terminated my parental rights. I attempted to send b'day and xmas gifts finally quitting the gifting after a few years of "return to sender" the only information I have had in nearly 30 years has been some letters received by my aunt forwarded to me which included that she (my daughter) received her Masters Degree, was teaching and has married. I have received no direct communication however both my ex and my daughter do have access to my current address via my aunt. It is highly probable that I will die without ever again seeing/talking to my daughter (Sara was her name). I am ambivalent about this situation knowing that she could have, at any point in time, made some contact with me and has chosen not to. On the other hand, some sort of closure might be pleasant ( I have no means for contacting her, not even what state she might be living in or her name. I have no intention of instituting any search.

no. It was just an example.

Good to see you dys.

It sounds like your ex-wife might have twisted her against you and that is why she would not look to make contact with you. I doubt your ex-wife ever told her of the gifts or notes and probably always claimed you had no interest in her. I would call her a "pawn" in this game, as it's easy to brainwash a child from the age of three. At the very least, I think you should write a letter or make a video and give it to the aunt who has contact with her. You can chose to have it sent to her via this aunt while you are still on this earth or after you depart. I think you deserve to have your say on this matter and not let you ex-wife have the last and only word.

On the other hand, dys, Sara probably was brainwashed by your ex-wife as
it is so often done during divorce proceedings and afterward. She might
have told her that you're a dead beat dad who never paid child support or cared about her well being. It's very unfortunate when either mother or father kidnap their children and rob them of a relationship with the other parent.

Don't dismiss your daughter just because she hasn't contacted you. I think she should hear your side of the story too - via your aunt you could send her a letter. The ball is in her court then but at least you've tried to make contact.

While I typed you had the same idea

for clarity I should note that while my ex and my daughter have access/address for my aunt (therefor for me) neither my aunt not I have access/address or even name for my ex or my daughter.

following the posts here, I searched/located my ex (still listed as a Professor at a midwest university with attached email addy) send her an email noting my current situation (hopefully opening a door which my daughter might wish to explore). It's been a lot years of years and I have little anticipation of response. so it goes.

Fingers crossed, poopity-head!

Well, at least you've tried, dys and you left no stone unturned. That's all you can do from your end. I do hope your ex will put whatever resentments she
still might have, aside and help you in reconnecting with your daughter.
My fingers are crossed!

Good for you! You are such a good man, it's your daughter's loss that she didn't get to know you. The rest of us are luckier. (((((hugs)))))

We are all on this journey dys, and will surely follow you
...some later, some sooner.

Keeping you and Diane in my thoughts.

My impression, dys, is that the hospice team and patient have wide latitude when it comes to medications. Even though a particular med. may be 'therapeutic', and ordinarily is part of 'active treatment', it might be that for a particular hospice client, it is being taken for palliative -ie. comfort-inducing- purposes.

Oh my. I hope she contacts Dys, I really do.

Kick back, relax, and enjoy the palliative care at home.

Please post pix of any notice which you staple to your forehead.

You did the right thing. You will now learn if she inherited your heart.