How soon can you fart in the presence of your new partner?

@Pemerson,

It will. I've done it many times. Caught my jeans on fire once doing it. Embarrassed

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@Pemerson,

Funny boys..

Not related to farts but re non stoppable laughter -

when I first lived in the san diego area, doing an internship, a friend and I were going to mass and we were late (don't get me started on religion). We parked and crossed the wide street with median and I tripped, that being my way sometimes.
We entered the church at solemn moments. Sat down. A few minutes passed. And then I couldn't stop laughing..

I don't think I was loud, but I was a bubble balloon of small whoops.

1 Reply

@Pemerson,

Pemerson wrote:

Yeah, everything about a fart is funny. Especially when you're a kid, sitting in church, and you hear that noise. It's like you start trying to not even think about laughing, and the shoulders are shaking so hard. I still, even today, when everything is very quite and serious, can get myself to shaking just thinking I may laugh out loud.

But, with farts, boys are really awful. I came in the kitchen one day when my boys were about 10 and 12. One was on his back on the floor, legs over his head. The oldest was lighting a match. Guess they thought because it's gas, it will light up.

Of course it will!

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:HWIq4btAV_HaMM:http://i5.photobucket.com

Whether you stumble across it, noodle it out with knowledge of the chemistry of farts and the properties of methane, or it is passed down to you as sacred lore in a ritual presided over by your older brother, once you are in possession of the secret of lighting farts you move onto an entirely different plane of wind wonder.

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@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

Funny boys..

Not related to farts but re non stoppable laughter -

when I first lived in the san diego area, doing an internship, a friend and I were going to mass and we were late (don't get me started on religion). We parked and crossed the wide street with median and I tripped, that being my way sometimes.
We entered the church at solemn moments. Sat down. A few minutes passed. And then I couldn't stop laughing..

I don't think I was loud, but I was a bubble balloon of small whoops.

Imagine if your friend had farted. You might have died that day.

1 Reply

@Finn dAbuzz,

Yes, that would have been an organ worthy scene..

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@FBM,

Quote:

How soon can you fart in the presence of your new partner?

What would be the point? The smell would dissipate by the time she opened them.

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*groan*

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@shewolfnm,

shewolfnm wrote:

*groan*

heh heh...seconded...

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Lighting farts is also a method of burning off smell, even if you don't get any flames.......

1 Reply

@BillW,

Thanks for that tidbit of fartology

1 Reply

More fartology:
Le Pétomane

http://www.ljhelms.com/pet/_pujol/thestory/petomane.jpg

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@Finn dAbuzz,

It is important - Mr. Green

I had a gfriend who would flash her lighter, I got to know what she was doing when she asked me to do it after I farted. I never did hear one of hers, or smell either..........for that matter Razz

1 Reply

@BillW,

That works, eh? Interesting.

I learned from a gf to burn a bit of paper after busting a grumpy (taking a dump) if you knew it was going to be particularly atrocious and, like, you were a guest somewhere or something. I always assumed it was because the smoke would cover the stench, but it may be that the flames burn up the methane and sulphurous compounds.

Farty pants

1 Reply

@FBM,

That's the reason some thoughtfully hostess's burn candles in the bathroom, ehhh Razz

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@BillW,

I'll be damned. I never knew that. I'm only semi-domesticated, anyway, and even that much reluctantly.

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@FBM,

Then watch out! Koreans are very polite and well mannered and probably
expect the same from you.

1 Reply

@FBM,

FBM wrote:

I'll be damned. I never knew that. I'm only semi-domesticated, anyway, and even that much reluctantly.

C'mon FBM. With all the kimchi they eat in that part of the world, the bathroom candles must be burning day and night.

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@CalamityJane,

Yeah, they've got me trained, I guess. Now I live indoors all the time! Who'd a thunk it?

@Finn. Jeebus, you should try getting into a taxi early in the morning after the driver's kimchee and soju binge. Gaaaacckkkk!!!!

But I've never seen candles in bathrooms here. Wait. Come to think of it, nobody ever invites me over... I'm so ronery!!!

1 Reply

@FBM,

Update: It's May now and I still haven't farted in her presence. Embarrassed

I'm working on it though. Maybe soon... Twisted Evil

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@FBM,

You've been holding it all this time?! Shocked

You poor fella! Leave the room / house and get some relief!

1 Reply

How soon can you fart in the presence of your new partner?

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