How soon can you fart in the presence of your new partner?

Farts can be ice breakers

I remember an early a2k thread on the subject of farting. I ended up convinced that every last one of us farts a lot.

Me, I think digestive complications happen and farting may get more socially noticeable for some. The complications may be from diet or from a medical situation, or, I dunno what.

I do remember, from back before I tried never to lie anymore (that was in my twenties), riding in a car on the way to a ski trip, my first, one of two, with two girl friends, and the driver (B) saying, who farted. Well, me. But I didn't answer, while they were making jokes.

I figure they understood my embarrassment and let it go. I assume they forget that by now, but me, I remember, myself in those years.

Decades later, I eat a lot of beans and think I don't fart much, and if I do, get over it. (there is a commonology that ones get used to beans)

Farts are very funny and always have been.

I can easily imagine neandertals cutting cheese in their caves and snickering in the darkness. "Pull my finger" may be the first phrase spoken by a humanoid.

Unless one just happened to slip out, I think it was a about a year before I farted in front of my wife. She has a fantastic sense of humor but for some reason there is a dead spot where there should be an appreciation of flatulence. I consider it a disability and would never make fun of her for it.

It was a little difficult to adjust to since as early as 5th grade, my friend Chris and I were reknown fart artistes. Being deprived by marriage at 18 of an important medium of expression was difficult at first, but love saw us through the rough patches.

My wife has farted in my presence exactly twice in 38 years.

Once when she was sick and semi-concious due to a fever and the other when she was laughing hysterically at something other than a fart. Both lasted precisely 1/8th of a second and were no lounder than the sound made when you pop bubble wrap.

The common theme? Loss of control. In that she is control freak of the first order I'm not in the least surprised when I realize she has only farted twice in almost four decades. I'm convinced as well that she doesn't let them rip whenever she is alone. if I wasn't, I don't think I could stay married to her.

My kids and I, on the other hand, have had great times with gas, especially when it comes from one of the dogs.

My Lab scares herself when she farts and barks at her ass.

The very best place to fart is in front of the cold air return. That insures your housemates get the full effect.

I've never farted.

That explains a lot.

ronald reagan never farted.

Are you sure? The photos suggest otherwise.

Well, sure, at least when you guys wear or wore the hats. Lifting them could cause some dismay.


(I know you have a thing about finn and the hat, but that is none of my business)

That post if full of win. The one about your family and dog's farting culture, that is.

Finn, uh, the lovely Mrs. Finn isn't the redhead, is she?



PS In all seriousness sounds like you have a sweet family life with the yin and yang of flatulence, as it were.

If you are a man = 1 month
If you are a woman = never
:p

I've always appreciated fart humor but I'm still shocked by how ... enthusiastically? my kid and her friends fart. It's just standard humor, they don't seem to be embarrassed about it. They have farting contests. When one lets a really stinky one rip, everyone else staggers around waving their hands in front of their faces and dying long, dramatic, fart-induced deaths. And the fart-er just laughs and doesn't seem mortified in the least. Or threatens to fart an even stinkier fart. (It's not just one, the fart-er rotates.)

So, when she gets to be dating age, I'd imagine she wouldn't blink if the guy farted on the first date.

ohhh.. thats a fantastic visual

jespah, Are you suggesting that we should fart in a box and then go back later and open it, when we are alone? I think they have a name for that

I'm a man. And I'm about 5 months behind schedule, seems.

Well, at least you don't have to listen to 'em.

But, that knocks out the warnings............

Silent but deadly, ftw.

A friend of mine was driving with his fiancee once. It was summer. He let a quiet one slide. Suddenly, she said, 'Oh, my god! There must be a dead dog around here! Quick, roll up the windows and turn the a/on!' My friend: 'Uhm. I don't think that's a good idea.'

Yeah, everything about a fart is funny. Especially when you're a kid, sitting in church, and you hear that noise. It's like you start trying to not even think about laughing, and the shoulders are shaking so hard. I still, even today, when everything is very quite and serious, can get myself to shaking just thinking I may laugh out loud.

But, with farts, boys are really awful. I came in the kitchen one day when my boys were about 10 and 12. One was on his back on the floor, legs over his head. The oldest was lighting a match. Guess they thought because it's gas, it will light up.