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How soon can you fart in the presence of your new partner?

 
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Dec, 2010 08:42 pm
Farts can be ice breakers

0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Dec, 2010 08:44 pm
I remember an early a2k thread on the subject of farting. I ended up convinced that every last one of us farts a lot.

Me, I think digestive complications happen and farting may get more socially noticeable for some. The complications may be from diet or from a medical situation, or, I dunno what.

I do remember, from back before I tried never to lie anymore (that was in my twenties), riding in a car on the way to a ski trip, my first, one of two, with two girl friends, and the driver (B) saying, who farted. Well, me. But I didn't answer, while they were making jokes.

I figure they understood my embarrassment and let it go. I assume they forget that by now, but me, I remember, myself in those years.

Decades later, I eat a lot of beans and think I don't fart much, and if I do, get over it. (there is a commonology that ones get used to beans)
0 Replies
 
Finn dAbuzz
 
  4  
Reply Mon 13 Dec, 2010 10:38 pm
Farts are very funny and always have been.

I can easily imagine neandertals cutting cheese in their caves and snickering in the darkness. "Pull my finger" may be the first phrase spoken by a humanoid.

Unless one just happened to slip out, I think it was a about a year before I farted in front of my wife. She has a fantastic sense of humor but for some reason there is a dead spot where there should be an appreciation of flatulence. I consider it a disability and would never make fun of her for it.

It was a little difficult to adjust to since as early as 5th grade, my friend Chris and I were reknown fart artistes. Being deprived by marriage at 18 of an important medium of expression was difficult at first, but love saw us through the rough patches.

My wife has farted in my presence exactly twice in 38 years.

Once when she was sick and semi-concious due to a fever and the other when she was laughing hysterically at something other than a fart. Both lasted precisely 1/8th of a second and were no lounder than the sound made when you pop bubble wrap.

The common theme? Loss of control. In that she is control freak of the first order I'm not in the least surprised when I realize she has only farted twice in almost four decades. I'm convinced as well that she doesn't let them rip whenever she is alone. if I wasn't, I don't think I could stay married to her.

My kids and I, on the other hand, have had great times with gas, especially when it comes from one of the dogs.

My Lab scares herself when she farts and barks at her ass.



wayne
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Dec, 2010 10:52 pm
The very best place to fart is in front of the cold air return. That insures your housemates get the full effect.
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Dec, 2010 10:56 pm
I've never farted.
Finn dAbuzz
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Dec, 2010 10:58 pm
@dyslexia,
dyslexia wrote:

I've never farted.


That explains a lot.
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Dec, 2010 11:03 pm
@Finn dAbuzz,
Finn dAbuzz wrote:

dyslexia wrote:

I've never farted.


That explains a lot.
ronald reagan never farted.
Finn dAbuzz
 
  2  
Reply Mon 13 Dec, 2010 11:11 pm
@dyslexia,
dyslexia wrote:

ronald reagan never farted.


Are you sure? The photos suggest otherwise.

http://thejunction.net/blog-images/ronald-reagan.jpg

http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/archives/photographs/large/c4237-6.jpg
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Dec, 2010 11:12 pm
@dyslexia,
Well, sure, at least when you guys wear or wore the hats. Lifting them could cause some dismay.


(I know you have a thing about finn and the hat, but that is none of my business)
0 Replies
 
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 01:16 am
@Finn dAbuzz,
Laughing

That post if full of win. The one about your family and dog's farting culture, that is.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 07:36 am
@Finn dAbuzz,
Finn, uh, the lovely Mrs. Finn isn't the redhead, is she?



PS In all seriousness sounds like you have a sweet family life with the yin and yang of flatulence, as it were.
johnsonjones
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 12:15 pm
@FBM,
If you are a man = 1 month
If you are a woman = never
:p
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 12:21 pm
I've always appreciated fart humor but I'm still shocked by how ... enthusiastically? my kid and her friends fart. It's just standard humor, they don't seem to be embarrassed about it. They have farting contests. When one lets a really stinky one rip, everyone else staggers around waving their hands in front of their faces and dying long, dramatic, fart-induced deaths. And the fart-er just laughs and doesn't seem mortified in the least. Or threatens to fart an even stinkier fart. (It's not just one, the fart-er rotates.)

So, when she gets to be dating age, I'd imagine she wouldn't blink if the guy farted on the first date.
shewolfnm
 
  3  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 01:28 pm
@Finn dAbuzz,
Finn dAbuzz wrote:


My Lab scares herself when she farts and barks at her ass.






Laughing
ohhh.. thats a fantastic visual
Laughing
0 Replies
 
BillW
 
  3  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 01:36 pm
@jespah,
jespah, Are you suggesting that we should fart in a box and then go back later and open it, when we are alone? I think they have a name for that Question
0 Replies
 
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 03:11 pm
@johnsonjones,
johnsonjones wrote:

If you are a man = 1 month
If you are a woman = never
:p


I'm a man. And I'm about 5 months behind schedule, seems. Sad
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 04:44 pm
@sozobe,
Well, at least you don't have to listen to 'em.
BillW
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 04:47 pm
@Setanta,
But, that knocks out the warnings............
0 Replies
 
FBM
 
  2  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 07:59 pm
Silent but deadly, ftw.

A friend of mine was driving with his fiancee once. It was summer. He let a quiet one slide. Suddenly, she said, 'Oh, my god! There must be a dead dog around here! Quick, roll up the windows and turn the a/on!' My friend: 'Uhm. I don't think that's a good idea.'

0 Replies
 
Pemerson
 
  2  
Reply Tue 14 Dec, 2010 11:01 pm
Yeah, everything about a fart is funny. Especially when you're a kid, sitting in church, and you hear that noise. It's like you start trying to not even think about laughing, and the shoulders are shaking so hard. I still, even today, when everything is very quite and serious, can get myself to shaking just thinking I may laugh out loud.

But, with farts, boys are really awful. I came in the kitchen one day when my boys were about 10 and 12. One was on his back on the floor, legs over his head. The oldest was lighting a match. Guess they thought because it's gas, it will light up.
 

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