True confessions on an insignificant nature

of course.

I never put tp rolls on the roller thang, I have a big basket and people can choose which ever roll they please, and they can take it off the role anyway they want it.

Somedays, I don't tie my boots up, I leave them undone all day.

I have come to wear mules because I can no longer tie shoes.

Don't mules bite when you step on them?

You MONSTER!

BOOOOOOOOOO! HSSSSSSSSSSS!

You got the bohemian mob all riled up!

i shot a man in reno




just to watch him die

Do you swab his arm after you injected the shot?

BBB

Sometimes I don't stop completely at Stop signs.

I stopped putting my shoes back in their original boxes at the end of the day.

I have a bad heaping helping of shoes near the front door ... or as near as that many shoes can get.

You used to put your shoes back in their original boxes?

<backs away...>

Frequently, I don't shave for three days in a row!

Doesn't everyone?

Christ, you have just totally fallen apart, haven't you?



anyway.
I have this bureau I don't use for anything else, I put all my shoes in there.
Yesterday I opened the bottom drawer to get a pair out, then finished getting dressed.
I went to push the drawer closed and it caught on something. A shoe I thought. I moved the most likely culprit, then tried to close again....had to try another shoe, and pushed the drawer closed harder.

Still couldn't closed, pushed harder again.

Then, rolands head appeared from the back end, looking like this...

I said "well, sorry, but you should have said something."

he awkwardly pulled himself out, then did that thing where he shook his head, making his ears flap. sounds like his brains rattling around inside.

Paper Bounty kitchen towels r more reliable.
If u move the roll into the bathroom, then thay become toilet paper.
For best results, fold diagonally.





David

Roland should confess that he has a fetish involving women's shoes.

Hi, Roland.

heh, he wasn't even IN the drawer, he had gotten BEHIND it.

When he was half grown, he unbeknowst to me got into the cabinet under the bathroom sink.
I started putting on my makeup, and opened one of the drawers on the right hand side, and he came jumping out!

Scared the **** out of me.

Did he return fire ??

roland's a good boy.

if he lays on a window sill with his front paws stretched in one directions, and his tail stretched out in another, he's just about 48 inches long.

he's got a loooooooong tail.