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How do I find my biological father whom I have never met or had any contact with?

 
 
how2finddadjohndoe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 13 Mar, 2015 08:24 pm
I kinda think I'm in an even worst position... (downer, sorry) I don't know his name, relatives, medical history or anything for the matter! He didn't rape my mom or anything. She paid a doctor to put his sperm inside her.
Found that out when I was 8.

Never grew up like the other kids. No replacement dad either 'til my brother came along, but never called that idiot dad.

How is a kid supposed to keep that a secret? How can a child understand that?
Growing up, I had to write down what story I was telling people as to not get lost in my lies.

All my life I had to lie to everyone I cared about. Had to tip-toe around the conversations.

Just recently I told some trusted friends, but they can't do anything more than I can. But I'm trying. And I need help. Any advice?
0 Replies
 
Kendra86
 
  1  
Reply Sun 29 Mar, 2015 12:06 pm
@Cycloptichorn,
I just want to know the only clue is my eyes are his not my mothers and I have schoulious that is from his side not my moms I'm part Italian that's all I got
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Alfonso
 
  1  
Reply Sat 11 Apr, 2015 06:18 am
Hi all,

My name is Alfonso alias known as Patrick.I was born in 1976 ,my mum met my dad when the Italian fame called Impregilo & Recchi from Milan at the time was awarded a contract to construct the itezhi tezhi dam/ zesco in Zambia /Africa .after I was born on 05-12-1976 and my dad's work permit was expiring I. Feb 1977 he left me when I was 2 months old ,according to info picked half half,He wanted to go with my with my mum but the president at a time didn't not allow this to happen,which led to leaving me and mum behind,When left in 5 days he sent two laters (communication at a time) after this my mum's family took advantage with the money left for me and her additional from slavery days, it was easy to convince my mum to move from where dad left us to the village far from the place dad knew.its where I was left with my mum's family where I grow up from.whenever I tried to find out,they could beat me so bad like I made a huge mistake, this led me growing with fear until when mum's died in 2000.its when I saw the need for the father whom have been hidden from me.only know his first name the second name not sure know the company he worked for and his position, managed to know where he went for accupational health before going to Zambia to work .and also my grand father work on Lake Kariba between Zambia and Zimbabwe. I am struggling financially that's why I can not do thinkings on time.
Is it possible to alocate him?

Regards

0 Replies
 
Lauriebell66
 
  1  
Reply Fri 8 May, 2015 07:41 pm
i didn;t know my biological father either i was raised by my step fathers mother and at the time her boyfriend they eventually got married life was great i did see my real mom every other week-end she has passed awy and so has the people raised me would like to find out if my real father is alive i was told he lived in a town called whitney point ny thats all i know anyone have suggestions
0 Replies
 
swuaveg
 
  1  
Reply Wed 20 May, 2015 01:09 am
@katiegreek,
Hi I'm currently 26 have a daughter thts 1 and never met my father always asked my mom about who my dad is but never hot a reply. Has anyone here found there biological parents mother/father /brother /sister hhere
0 Replies
 
RiverCheree
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 May, 2015 07:10 am
Good day
My name is ChereƩ Broderick (Wallace). I was born on 8th December 1988. I've never known my biological father and of course, like a lot of others out there, a person will always wonder if you don't try. I've brought the subject up a couple of times with my mother, but it is always put to a stop. So I don't try anymore. I know she says that my father wants nothing to do with me, but I just want to be able to see how he looks. Here is the tricky part - the only link I have to my father is the year (1988) and the surname Wallace. That is my maiden name. I just know that my mother was pregnant at the time that she met my stepfather. I stay in South Africa, North West province, Rustenburg. Any help will be appreciated, although I don't know if the info given is enough. Thank you.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 22 May, 2015 07:24 am
@RiverCheree,
With your mother shutting down any inquiries, it's going to be a lot tougher. Start with your birth certificate. Is your stepfather named, or is it just listed as 'father unknown', or is there another name there? As I've told others, talk with your mother's peers if your mother will not talk. Her siblings (if any). Her friends. Her classmates. Anyone who associated with her at or around the time of your conception. And ask who she dated, or at least hung around with.

If the discussion is being squelched, then there's a reason for that. Don't be surprised to learn that your biological father is dead, in jail, an addict, or was married at the time you were conceived. Or you are possibly the product of rape or your mother was sleeping with more than one guy during that time period, and doesn't know, and is ashamed of her past. Any of those are possible and would explain her reticence in discussing the matter with you.

And finally, be gracious to your mother and your stepfather. Explain to them that you aren't asking in order to hurt them, that you love them and thank them (particularly your stepfather) for raising you. Make it clear that a search for your biological father isn't about any perceived failings or desire to escape, etc. It's about you wanting to know your identity and your health history. That's all.

Best of luck to you.
0 Replies
 
WiccanDiva
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 May, 2015 10:05 pm
@caesarprafg,
wat was the name of the woman you had a fling with, im currently 24 looking for my dad, my mom got pregnant with me in 1990
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lelir
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Jun, 2015 10:40 am
@katiegreek,

I also have the same situation but i'm 13 going on 14 I really want to know who
I am and my mom knows nothing about this. Everything I have tried so far costs money or doesn't work. I know how you feel, I think it feels like i'm missing my other half, like I don't know half of who I am. I think that maybe knowing him would help me because it stresses me and it also keeps me up at night sometimes.
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JennaAbreu
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Jun, 2015 11:14 am
Hi, my mother kept it a secret for quite some time and I'm only 14 but I really want to meet my biological father ...but I only know his name and I have no idea where he is because he "ran away" and then my mother moved out the country and we are basically on the other side of the world from where he is. I only want to meet him so I can actually have a real father and not some fake one
0 Replies
 
JohnMondiego
 
  1  
Reply Fri 19 Jun, 2015 07:35 am
@katiegreek,
Do you know when and where the "one night stand happened"?
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JohnMondiego
 
  1  
Reply Fri 19 Jun, 2015 07:40 am
@cjmccarty,
What was the city where she met him?
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Cayla McGladdery
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 11:35 pm
Hi I'm trying to find my real dad. I do have a dad in my life he's the best I love him very much. But I wanna know if my real dad is. Is last name is smith I know that's like a very common name and it's gonna be hard cause there's so much smith out there. I don't know how to ask my mom I'm afraid and scared to ask her. I don't know what to say.
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Jul, 2015 05:55 am
@Cayla McGladdery ,
If you are afraid to talk to your mother, then who can you talk to?

Seriously. You need to ask her. She was there.

So here's a script.

"Mom, I want to know who my biological father is. I love ___ (your stepfather's name) very much and I am grateful that he raised me. He's wonderful. This is not a slam on him or on you. I just want to know who this other person is, and what I can expect in the event of genetic diseases. I am prepared if it's bad news or he was a bad person. I hope you will talk to me about this and try to help me fill the gaps in my life."

Period. Say no more. And wait for a response.

Understand that a response may never come. Understand, too, that your bio father might be dead or in jail or was married when you were conceived. Or you might be a product of rape. Or your mother might have been sleeping with more than one guy at the time and just plain isn't sure.
0 Replies
 
Brown670
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Aug, 2015 07:40 pm
Hi I'm looking for my birth father. His name is James miles. My mother name is Diane king she passed away 1986. He have a twin brother. But I don't know too much about him because I never seen him before. Thank you for taking the time to read Thrn it [email protected]
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ashleymz
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Aug, 2015 11:07 am
@caesarprafg,
i am as well looking for my father who my mother refuses to give any info about im am currently 24 and looking for my dad she says his name was steve and went to americas high school in el paso graduated 1989 any help would be greatly appreciated Sad
0 Replies
 
Megski84
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2015 06:54 pm
@katiegreek,
Hi I know this is over 5 years old but I hope you read this. First, you are very, very lucky to know his name. The best thing is to prepare for the worst that he won't give you any medical tips or even respond back to you, this way you aren't surprised. He could be awful. My friend found out her birthfather is a paedophile and sexually absurd and he was being creepy with her too. Since you know his name I would comb through social sites like twitter, facebook, classmates.com, phonebooks in your county and the counties around you if your mom was living there. I would also speak to Pamela Slaton and nobody else on what to write to him when you do.
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Megski84
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2015 07:08 pm
@Velzie,
she fell pregnant also rapped my mother


rapped? As in beat? or raped?

Either way, no. If he's evil like that then no.

If you want to find him only to find your half siblings and hope they're good people (watch they may not be and you need to prepare for that) then okay but stay clear away from him.
0 Replies
 
Megski84
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2015 07:13 pm
@chai2,
I've said this in other threads, but I am a firm believer that if a birth parent has not indicated they want contact, the child, even as an adult, needs to leave them Alone. This man may, well probably has a family of his own that knows nothing about you. The fact that he had sex with a woman one time does not give you the right to even try to get into his life.


One should not give advice if one does not know what really goes on. Statistically speaking in the few open provinces and states in North America the amount of birthparents not wanting contact is astronomically small. Now, in this girl's case she should avoid him. He sounds like a bad egg. In Manitoba, of the rounded 50,000 birthmothers only 60 asked for no contact. In Maine, fewer than 1%. In Oregon only .25%.
What you do not realise is the fact that many birthfathers were never told they fathered a child or they were forced to sign, something that still happens in Utah. Birthmothers were brainwashed by adoption agencies, churches, their parents that they "were not real mothers" and "searching for their relinquished child is sinful and interfering with the child's life" etc.

It doesn't matter if his family knows about her or not. She is an adult and has a right to search and any family members of her have the right, as adults, to decide with whom they want or don't want contact with. That isn't up to a father or a mother.

People were not meant to stay in closets.
jessyca
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Aug, 2015 09:45 pm
@morfett11,
I'm in the same boat! All I know is his name and the place he worked at over 10 years ago. Even though I know his name, its quite long, and I'm not positive on the spelling which makes it somewhat more difficult. If you found a way to reach out and get in contact with your father and found a way that made it a comfortable situation please let me know! I wish you the very best on your journey. Btw, Australia is amazing! You will love it. Check out the beaches once you get here Smile
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