Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

Hawkeye with all these votes downs of your and my postings I wonder if history is repeating itself and someone once more is going to the trouble of making up false accounts to do the voting?

Let see how high the numbers of votes down reach this time.

How many of these rape kits are parts of cases where there is no question of who the male happen to be?

In cases where the only question is not the sex happening or the ID of the male but if there was consent we are throwing good money after bad to be PC.

Strange is it not that given that studies that have shown women are just as likely to be violence as men in domestic cases we are only talking about female victims of domestic violences.

One of my co-workers once woke up to find his "lady" was about to put a knife into his stomach for example.

Footnote reported rapes are now going on a four decade low at the same time there are claims of a rape culture.

This... Has honestly brought me to tears. All of it. I have been sitting back intentionally watching, soaking it all in. Trying to figure out where everyone is coming from to try and understand what is really going on. In the process I have actually gained a better understanding of myself as well. I ask that all of you would consider the things I am about to say, and understand that even if I disagree with some of your points, everything I say is honestly coming from my heart, and not directed at anyone as a personal attack.

First of all @ Bill. I owe you an apology. I have considered in my heart the things I have said to and about you in this thread. Some of them have been hurtful things and I am honestly sorry. I am not here to hurt anyone. You included.

@ Firefly
Honey, please listen to me. Hawkeye is not wrong in the things he has been saying since I have entered this conversation. He really isn't. The victims do fall on both sides of this issue. Perpetrators are more often than not victims of some form of abuse themselves. I applaude him for being willing to stand up for them, because really there are very few who would. I too will stand up for them because even though they committed a heinus crime, the majority of the time they did it for a reason.

I cannot even fathom the idea that any man coming from a stable background could just wake up one morning and think to himself, "Gee, I think I will rape some poor, defenseless woman today." Let's look at the whole picture here, not just half of it. You cannot make a sound judgment on anything with only half of the information. Trying to do so is an earmark of the victim mentality.

It is a tricky thing... The victim mentality. Extremely tricky because it gets so deeply seeded in a persons brain and they don't even realize it. It shapes a persons thoughts, ideals, and view of the world and themsekves. Which directly effects the behavior they display. For me, I internalized it all. I happen to believe that is because I was only five or six the first time it happened and was never given a voice to express what had happened to me.

It was in fact swept under the rug and to this day my mother still will not even acknowledge that happened to me. I know it did. I had the scars to prove it. Yet she still chooses to live in denial, to the point she told me a few years back that she had absolutely no idea he had ever even touched me, but had in fact left him because he molested my sister. (The abuser was a step parent) Ummm... Wtf. Really... Wtf!? How on God's green earth could she not have known?

I did not know until my mid 20's. I have blocked out almost my entire childhood. I have approximately 12 to 15 memories from the ages of 0 to 12. I had always been suspicious that something had happened because of one memory I did not block. He had laid down for a nap and called me into the room. He asked me if I would take a nap with him, since mommy was gone. I said no. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me on the bed anyway.

At the age of 21 I began to have a reoccurring nightmare every single time I laid down for a nap. This went on for six years, so eventually I just stopped taking naps, no matter how tired I was. The dream was absolutely terrifying and is not something I wish to share, except to say I felt pinned on my bed and like I was being suffocated. It took me five of those six years to even begin to question why I was having that dream.

And then another year to reconcile within myself what had happened to me. I believe it was his repeated acts on me that caused me to not be able to have children, which for me as a woman has been quite traumatic as well. I have had a lot to reconcile concerning those events. And the biggest enemy that has stood in my way has been the victim mentality. It is a battle I have been fighting my entire life, and I shouldn't have had to. No one should. But Firefly... Life is not fair. It never will be. We live in a society that is slowly degenerating. Turning against itself.

Why is that? Because hurting parents are hurting their kids, then turning them out in the world to continue the cycle and hurt others. At some point someone has to stand up and deal with the issue in its entirety. Not just from one side or the other. Did I "ask to be raped"? No. Absolutely not. Did I subconsciously set myself up for the cycle to be repeated in my life? Absolutely. Coming to terms with that reality was difficult, to say the least. Because one of the primary symptoms of sexual abuse is a shame based mentality.

Which can actually work against that persons very good intentions and efforts to correct the emotional damage that has been done. It is embarrassing still for me to stand here and say those words. But it is the truth, and the only way to find the healing you desire is to come to terms with the truth. Not only of what happened to you, but what it caused you to do in return. Not everyone who has been abused will turn around and abuse others.

Some, like me, internalize it all and end up abusing themselves. It is not anymore intentional to abuse someone else, than it is to abuse yourself as a result of being abused. It is all still abuse, no matter which light you choose to look at it from. I believe that abuse actually rewires a persons brain in a sense. It disconnects their ability for cognitive thinking, and replaces it with a shame based mentality, which screws everything up because it separates them from the very things they need in order to recover fully.

Let me explain... In my case there is one more piece of the puzzle I have not shared yet. Quite intentionally. I am fighting with shame even as I prepare to write this. When I got to the point initially of deciding whether or not to share this I chose not to, but did not fully understand why at that time. I understand now why I didn't. Because I was afraid there was some truth to some of the things that have been said about me so far, and felt sharing it would only further the case against me.

And yes, to anyone reading this, that is exactly how it can feel to have been victimized. That the world has a case against you, and somehow you have to prove to the world it was not your fault. That is shame based thinking. Imagine if you will, how then it would feel to be victimized, then turn around and do it to someone else and have to stand trial for it. Imagine the further damage that does to their psychological state.

To them I imagine it would feel as though they are actually being tried for the abuse that happened to them. Driving them that much further into the victim mentality. Not saying they should not be held accountable for their actions. But you cannot leave it there and go around screaming and shouting what a monster they are. Believe me, they already feel like a monster. They really don't need anyone to point that out.

Whoops... Rabbit trail... Lol Getting back on track here... There was one more time I almost got raped. Two years after the third time. I say almost because luckily I was with a friend that time that darn near beat the living crap out of the guy. It was then that this tiny little nightlight went on in my darkened brain and said, "Gee, maybe drinking with men I don't know is not such a brilliant idea after all."

That was it. No big epiphany, and life magically got better. It was just the beginning of a very long journey to where I am today. It has taken years and years of unraveling faulty shame based thinking within myself, and its still not over. It may never be over, and I have accepted that fact. Embraced it even, because I am tired of being someone I was never meant to be. A victim of sexual abuse. I no longer call myself that, because now... right now... This very moment... I am choosing to view myself as an overcomer instead.

You are getting to watch this actually happen in someones life. I can only hope that it is half as satisfying for you as it is for me! But I had to make that choice. I had to change my perception of myself because there is no one in this world who could do it for me, and there is no one who can do it for you. What I had not realized until now is that I am not on trial, and still subconsciously have been living in some ways as if I am.

That's the thing... It's subconscious. The victim mentality itself is a subconscious thing. As humans we all do things subconsciously. Meaning things we do outwardly without any thought as to what is causing that action. It is merely just what we have always done so we continue to do it. It doesn't necessarily entail being abused either. It is human nature.

Until a person can find their way into their own subconscious and willingly take a look at the good... And the bad... They will fight blindly for a freedom that is already theirs. It is already within themselves. It is just being blocked from view by the bad. For sexual abuse victims that "bad" is the victim mentality. It's not an easy process. It is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. But its worth it.

I AM FINALLY FREE Firefly.

So thank you, from the bottom of my heart for starting this thread. For raising this question. Thank you to every single person here, because you all have played a part in me finally finding the freedom I have been searching for my whole life.

Now, if you will kindly excuse me I am going to go dance in a field of wild flowers. Why? Because it is something I have always wanted to do, and was never allowed to because of the bars I had placed around my own heart.

Three votes down so far for daring to pointed out that men are almost as likely to be victims of domestic violence as women!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interesting mindset that we should only be concern about women as men do not matter and are the evil sex in any case.

Lot of soldiers here in the war on men.

Strange also that I have never seen a movie of the week showing a woman abusing her boyfriend or husband it is always the evil man attacking the pure lady.

How about the true story of the West Point Cadet who have a young lady jumped into bed with him while he was sleeping and begin to have sex with him only to be charge with rape due to her claiming of being under the influence at the time.

No movie of the week showing the injustice of that happening!!!!!!

People vote you down because you're disgusting. That's why it's done, that's the only reason. Most don't even bother reading the crap you post.

3 votes down for being a lying nonce. And you are a liar.



http://able2know.org/topic/136962-1

So worthwhile that the minute your mother was hospitalised you wasted no time trying it on with the nurses. You really a loathsome creep.

There's no war on men, it's a war on nonces.



Nothing strange about it considering your taste in movies. Have you ever seen a movie where a woman isn't being abused?

Oh so you support a wife who would not come down and aid me and my mother when she was dying?????????

Turning down requests by both myself and my mother.

In any case, my wife walk away from the marriage not me.

Still can hear my mother asking me when she would be coming down.

Footnote my mother was taken care of by me and others in her home and she die in her home she was not placed in a nursing home.

I'm not surprised she refused to watch you trying it on with the nurses. Clearly you have an unhealthy relationship with your mother to go about it so much. You remind me of Jimmy Savile, he was a mummy's boy just like you. That's not the only thing you've got in common.

Just for once try acting like a grown man instead of a five year old.

Another idiotic statement from the A2K village idiot.



No, what's strange is that you are bringing up domestic violence in a thread about rape. And you've dug up a 5 year old news story about it to boot. You are aware that it is 2015 and not 2010, aren't you? Given that your posts are also more incoherent than usual, perhaps you should cut down on the sauce.

But, thanks for reminding everyone that your ex-wife had to get a restraining order against you for domestic violence--and you didn't even appear in court to contest it.

Good thing you now have a home health aide to look after you--she can help change your Depends, diddle your wiener when she sponge bathes you, and keep wiping the drool from your chin when you are drunk. It's not surprising your current wife couldn't take you any more.

Unhealthy relationship with my mother my you are a sick SOB indeed!!!!!!

Have wonderful set of parents and a wonderful set of one grandparents and I owe them all for all the great things they did for me in my lifetime.

Would not have look at anyone else if my wife had given the support anyone should expert from their mate not to mention that my mother love my wife and had gone on many trips with her over the years so if she did not feel that she owe me anything for some reason, she still should had offer aid and comfort to my dying mother.

You state that "men are as almost likely" **** like it was a fact. And you wonder why you get thumbed down.

Its all wrapped around you and your penis. Pafreakingthetic.

Being called a sick SOB by you is like being called a **** by Shitty the ****, The Shithouse, Shitterton by the ****, Shitworth SH 1T.

Although he'd have appoint if he called you a ****.

You're a creepy mummy's boy and it shows.

Plenty of studies that show that as a fact and I quoted an article that back that up and a simple google search would find far more studies that back that fact up.

In fact it not in question.

I loved my mother and I love my father and my mother parents.

Seems an odds thing to be attacked for daring to love your parents.

Loved your mother so much you took her death as an opportunity to play around.

LOL.................

men and women sometimes get drunk – it is not a crime to drink, it is a crime to rape