Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

I'm very sorry for what happened to you, the whole thing stinks. It feels a bit strange to welcome someone to A2K under these circumstances, but welcome to A2K.

I'm sorry about Bill, he's a really disgusting individual, and you shouldn't have to read his bullshit. Not everybody here is like him though.

Not everybody is like Izzy either....the Borg we are not.

What's next Izzy, are you going to inform our new member that the sky is often blue???

Not down our way.

Very interesting link now first there is no reason to think you would have gotten a better, for you, results in having more then one woman on the court martial as from my readings women as a group are a lot harder to convince in a "date rape" case then men happen to be as a group.



If a man had choked you for such a prolong period or even a far shorter period with any force at all your neck should had been one very big black and blue area and there should had been secondary indications such as broken blood vessels in your eyes and so on.

I did not read anywhere that you had such markings on your neck or other indications to back up your claims of being strangled.

Now I have a numbers of friends who had served in the peace corp and in fact my wife did a tour in the Dominican Republic and the in country emergency contact information is drill into peace corp members as one of the top priority during training so you just not having it with you does not ring true to say the least.

Next we have you engaging later in sex with this person who had choked you for 30 minutes when his room mate had return and was sleeping in the next bed!

All in all your claims does not raise to anywhere near to beyond a reasonable doubt needed to lock up a man for years and label him a rapist for the rest of his life.

Choking the woman during sex is pretty common in the crowd I run with....no long term marks are created by those who know how to do it. Mistakes happen, it is difficult to do it right everytime, so sometimes the woman has to walk around for a few days with choking marks in her, worried that some out of their lane do-gooder will sic the state onto her life.


Choking with out consent is abuse, but I do not demand verbal affermative consent as the state/feminists do.

You are the expert in S&M choking but 30 minutes of choking to force for real ,not careful and control S&M game playing, a woman to submit to sex she was not willing to go along with and no marks or other damages ??????????

Welcome to A2K, SandiAlaska.

What a horrible ordeal you have been through, both the sexual assault itself and your re-victimization by the military justice process. Although it is painful to read your account, it is, unfortunately, all too common that rape victims are put through such humiliating experiences when they try to seek justice and have their rapists held accountable, and I think you have done a brave and important thing by continuing to speak out about it.


Well, one thing this reader has done was to start this thread, and to try to keep it focused on the problems inherent in rape culture, and victim blaming. A great deal of information has been disseminated in this thread which I hope has raised awareness. It has certainly raised by own awareness.

When I started this thread, I was merely struck by what I thought was a clever public service message that made a point about rape laws and victim blame in a novel way--I never anticipated that the topic would generate such controversy or unleash such negative attitudes toward both rape victims, and women in general, or that I would find myself so concerned with the extent of the problem. For me this thread has been an eye-opener and a very useful educational experience, I have personally learned a great deal.

At this point in the life of this thread, I don't think much useful discussion is going on. It is ironic that you found this site, and this thread, in response to a post by BillRM, since he has devoted most of his energy throughout this thread to victim-bashing, victim-blaming, and victim-discrediting, mainly trying to promote the notion that most rape accusations are false. And he chose your case to continue to promote that view. He has no genuine concern with either the problem of sexual assault/rape, which he tries to minimize and deny, or the problems which affect and limit the successful prosecution of those who commit such crimes. And he has absolutely no concern for how rape victims are treated by the criminal justice system-- he would like to see rape shield protections eliminated to make life even more difficult for such victims, he resents the funding of victim support services, and he wants all rape allegations, and the people making them, to be regarded as suspicious and false until proved otherwise--essentially by putting the victim on trial and trying to degrade her.

BillRM's main value in in this thread, as far as I am concerned, has been to illustrate the problems inherent in rape culture. And he has done that well. Most people have tired of responding to him at all, even to insult him. Fortunately, neither he nor Hawkeye is indicative of most A2K members, or their thinking regarding this topic. They are a sick duo. I hope you will remain at A2K long enough to see that for yourself.

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

Well Firefly whether she is a victim or not is a very open question to say the least as the evil military justice system decided that the issue of her victimhood was not proven beyond a reasonable doubt.

Must be because of all those evil men on the court martial dealing with the matter with only one non-officer woman on the court according to our "victim".

Men as a class after all do not care about women being raped even those most of them have sisters, daughters, and female friends.

We should do away with the need to prove a man guilty of rape beyond a reasonable doubt and just lock up any man who any woman charge with date rape as even not allowing men to serve on such juries/panels is unlikely to stop even all female jurors from wishing proof or at least a story that make some sense before locking up a man for a decade or more as a rapist.

At least Firefly the military went as far as having a court martial something I doubt given the lack of evidences, from the news stories , would had occur in most non-military justice systems.

Footnote the gentleman might wish to consider suing her in civil court for libel and then we all could get to see how a civil court jury would rule with the lower standard of more likely then not concerning her claims.

You previously insulted the A2K member who shared her history of having been raped both as a child and as an adult during her marriage. Your comments to her were disgusting. You then claimed you didn't realize she was talking about herself because she posted a link to a book in which her story appeared. That was bullshit. You knew exactly what you were saying to her. And your response to SandiAlaska again demonstrates what a pig you are, even when you confront a rape victim.

Just because the rapist isn't convicted, doesn't necessarily mean the woman was not raped.
It just means the rapist escaped legal punishment--and that's all that concerns you.
You are a perfect example of the mentality inherent in a rape culture, and it's that mentality that allows rape to often be a crime that can be committed with impunity because convictions are so difficult to obtain.

You're not in any danger that anyone will ever accuse you of being a decent human being.

Go crawl back under a rock.

The accused ARE promised by the Supreme Law of the land to be considered innocent until proven guilty, and the corollary to that is that all alleged victims are to be considered non-victims until they are proven to be victims.

Aint the Constitution a Bitch!

All alleged victims are not presumed to be liars until proven otherwise.

I guess, under your twisted logic, Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman weren't murder victims since O.J. wasn't proved guilty.

Real rapists are not always convicted--but only an idiot would interpret that to mean that the rapes did not occur.

Ain't logic a bitch.

Talk to BillRM--you deserve each other.

Thank Hawkeye for replying to Firefly post that we should grant complete credit IE victimhood to any wooman on her word alone.

You right that damn constitution written by evil men keep getting in the way of not just assuming a man is guilty instead of innocent and a woman had a right to victimhood on her word alone.

Even in this case where the gentleman was found not guilty as of course it could not be that he was indeed not guilty or at a minimum was not proven guilty, it must be the fault of a bias military justice system instead.

Sorry dear heart but this was a case of he said she said and one of them is lying and the court found the man innocent and therefore found that her story did not pass the beyond a reasonable doubt burden at a minimum.

Given her story as it had been relay to us it does not seems to pass the smell test either.

It I was him and she is still going around trying to blacken my name I would sell my soul to fund a civil suit and we could then see if her story even reach the level of more likely then not in a libel case.

Footnote concerning a recent firefly claim posted on this thread that we have a so call rape culture.

Before the Fireflies of the world begin to fool with the very very long term FBI data base of reported rapes, by changing the reporting elements to include groups never included before such as homosexual rapes , we had a 33 years low on reported rapes in this country per hundred thousands population.

In fact, every year if been trending downward for at least the last 15 years or so.

It is a damn shame that we had just lost the data base ability to do historical comparisons dating back roughly 80 years or so.

My a voted down of two already concerning my comments on the FBI data base of reported rapes.

It seems it never good news for the Fireflies of the world when there are indications that rapes are and had been sharply decreasing for many many years as that means that the claims of a rape crisis might be call into question and we can not have that now can we!!!!!!!!!!!

We need more bullshit surveys that claimed for example that one in four female collages students will be a victim of some form of sexual assault during their college years even if that mean defining the term sexual assault so broadly that the majority of the women survey and place in that grouping do not agree that they belong to that classification.

Hell a large percent of these poor women had an ongoing consensus sexual relationships with the males in question.

I thought of SAlaska when I saw this:

A society which wants to rub out the abuser/victim dynamic should teach "dont be a victim" as hard as it teaches "dont be an abuser". Working on one side of the problem only is just dumb.

The feminists, as they do with almost everything these days, get this wrong. Off course to their minds they get this right, as their mission is to pound on men.

Well going with a man you just met in a bar to a hotel room for sex is never a good idea but then we can no longer even hint that a woman might use some comment sense when it come to her personal actions in the area of sex.

To be more PC correct it is never repeat never a good idea for a man either to be alone with a woman he does not know he can trust.

As in this case or the case of the woman who hit on the local NYC newscaster in the public streets and after taking him to her boss office after hours for sex claimed rape after she became pregnant as a result and she could not blame her infertile boyfriend.

Bet both men regret meeting these women!!!!!!!

So, are you now saying that men can't be trusted? You are saying that a woman should never trust any man she's just met? Do you think all men are rapists--is understanding that your idea of "common sense"?

I think that's the point of teaching people not to rape--that's the point of teaching the rape laws and the legal definition of consent. That's the point of making sure those laws are enforced and that those who violate them are prosecuted and convicted. When people understand and respect those laws you don't have rapes--only the rapist commits the rape. Rape occurs when the need for consent is disregarded.

Going to a hotel room, or an office, or being in a car, or being drunk, is not consent for sex. Kissing and touching is not consent for intercourse. Saying, "NO" or resisting is not consent for sex. Being incapacitated is not consent for sex.

And, unfortunately, you still don't understand that. Nor do you really understand the laws or the legal definition of consent. And, if you can't understand those things by now, you really are brain dead.

Try using your "common sense" if you want to help prevent rapes--tell other men to read and understand the sexual assault/rape laws of their state, which include the definition of consent, and abide by them.