Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

@Lash,

Lash wrote:

I understand the fury and confusion caused by girls who say no and mean yes.
Let her look daggers through you and huff and puff.
A guy has the right to ditch a girl who plays these games - because they are VERY dangerous. You did the right thing.

Sadly, a lot of girls' bullshit has to do with the REALLY unfair double standard about sex. For the same exact behavior,
boys are praised and girls are ruined. She's taught she must say no - and if she doesn't, she's a useless whore.

Either way, REGARDLESS: e.g., some fool in this forum called the Queen of England a "whore".

Lash wrote:

So, while I understand confused chicks in this regard, guys have to let these feeble "my mouth says no, but my hand in your pants says yes" protestations bring action to a screeching halt - until he clarifies if she is indeed saying no - or playing that timeworn game.

I 've had that HAPPEN, tho not recently, in her apartment right across the street
from the police station. My answer was the equivalent of:
"OK, Good nite. See u around."

She changed her mind n said so.

David

1 Reply

@Lash,

Quote:

She's taught she must say no - and if she doesn't, she's a useless whore.

that is not the only reason for this game...another is the female desire for ravishment. She often wants the male to take charge, to take her over her protest. This is a constant and strong thread through erotica.

I don't agree categorically that we should let the rape feminists take this from us. I would tell my son don't go forwards unless you really care about this girl, unless you trust her,because by giving her what she wants she is in a position to ruin you with a sex charge allegation.

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@OmSigDAVID,

You did the right thing! I think there's some latent hope in the mind of some confused young women to absolve themselves from the wanton whore aspect of sex by murmuring no - being swept away by passion (or "raped" - it could be called either, depending on her mood) and in this way - she is still pure, innocent of dirty sexual wrong-doing - and as a bonus - the object of a man's uncontrollable desire.

When the guy stops at no - she's forced to own her part in the tryst - which I think is a good thing for everyone involved - emotionally, sexually, and legally.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

True - but they should be in a relationship before sex through mild protestation - and have a Safe Word - a word that he and she agree on means STOP NOW. She has to have a way to stop it that he understands - or he may really rape her. I hope you'll share this with him. Just because they've done it before, doesn't mean rape can't happen between them. (I guess you know this - but I felt like I had to say it.)

1 Reply

@Lash,

Lash wrote:

You did the right thing!

I was familiar with the applicable law, and I believed (since age 11) in trusting NO ONE.

Lash wrote:

I think there's some latent hope in the mind of some confused young women to absolve themselves from the wanton whore aspect of sex by murmuring no - being swept away by passion (or "raped" - it could be called either, depending on her mood) and in this way - she is still pure, innocent of dirty sexual wrong-doing - and as a bonus - the object of a man's uncontrollable desire.

When the guy stops at no - she's forced to own her part in the tryst - which I think is a good thing for everyone involved - emotionally, sexually, and legally.

Oprah and her friends addressed this principle, tho concerning KISSING, not rape.
Thay all joined in expressing contempt n disdain and re-iterated contempt n disdain
for a man of the male gender who ASKs for permission to kiss them. As it was summarized by Oprah,
and agreed by her friends: thay want the male man to take a chance with them, a chance of rejection n embarrassment.

For those of us who know the law of assault n battery,
that might not seem like such a good idea (not that we r actually gonna get sued),
but as a matter of moral principle, u keep your hands off of other people, without permission.

Your description of that principle closely parrallels Oprah 's.

David

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@Lash,

Quote:

True - but they should be in a relationship before sex through mild protestation

agreed, but my point is that the rape feminists claim that this game, one that I imagine most middle aged and older folks have played and enjoyed, should not be played. They have it that the majority of people are either rapists or victims, because we the people engage in sexual practices that they don't approve of. I very much want to tell these busy body puritans to shove off, and I don't find their justification of trying to protect women from rape persuasive. I am not willing to give up erotic fun and exploration because some one some where is being violated through sexual transgression. Life is a contact sport, it will never be fully safe, and attempts that go too far to get to this impossible fantasy of safety ruin the whole point of life.

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@hawkeye10,

Quote:

True - but they should be in a relationship before sex through mild protestation

hawkeye10 wrote:

agreed, but my point is that the rape feminists claim that this game, one that I imagine most middle aged and older folks have played and enjoyed, should not be played. They have it that the majority of people are either rapists or victims, because we the people engage in sexual practices that they don't approve of. I very much want to tell these busy body puritans to shove off, and I don't find their justification of trying to protect women from rape persuasive. I am not willing to give up erotic fun and exploration because some one some where is being violated through sexual transgression. Life is a contact sport, it will never be fully safe, and attempts that go too far to get to this impossible fantasy of safety ruin the whole point of life.

What u advocate is dangerous n in conflict with the applicable law; risky.

What if the chick (including wives) gets mad at u later,
for unrelated reasons. I 've seen that happen (tho, fortunately, not to me).

David

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

Quote:

What u advocate is dangerous n in conflict with the applicable law; risky.

What if the chick (including wives) gets mad at u later,
for unrelated reasons. I 've seen that happen (tho, fortunately, not to me).

Yes, but the problem is not me, it is bad law. The law no longer supports life as humans actually live it, because it has been hijacked by cultural reformers who are attempting to make over what humans are. They will fail in their project, and in the process by making law hostile to humans they have weakened civilization.

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@spidergal,

Does that go for you to?

If you are the one not drinking in a heavy manner and he is do you placed your freedom at risk if he regret having sex with you the next day?

Should he be allow to place you in prison for twenty years and if not why does it only run one way in your opinion?

1 Reply

@Lash,

You are right it could had been otherwise but you have no reason to assume that they was not just being gentlemen getting a drunk girl home in a safe manner.

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@spidergal,

Quote:

They're married. They're not strangers to each other. They presumably have sex on a regular basis. It's different with the random people you get drunk with at the pub.

Who said anything about random people I myself had said you was out partying with someone assuming you knew this person at least somewhat.

Getting drunk in public without people you know with you is a bad idea for a man or a woman and something I was not picturing in my postings.

Talk about the need to tell sons not to rape telling daughters not to get drunk in public without at least protected friends around or not with someone in private who you do have reason to trust one hundred percent seem to be far more needed.

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@BillRM,

Quote:

Getting drunk in public without people you know with you is a bad idea for a man or a woman and something I was not picturing in my postings.

The rape feminists start form the point that women are never wrong, never do anything that contributes to their feelings of violation, and thus nothing can be said negatively about female behaviour. With their spiel about how women should wear what ever they want to wear, that this can not be said to have anything to do with their feelings of violation, rape feminists come very close to promoting taunting. We know damn well that what women wear effects men, and how men respond to women, but we are supposed to ignore all that.

Note: no, a woman in not responsible for her rape if she wears slut wear, but her choices do play a part in the dynamic that lead up to rape. She should be made to understand that advertising herself as a loose woman is not a good idea if she is not the type...... encouraging unwanted behaviour is either stupid or mean, and I dont approve of it either way.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

The talk you mention with daughters about sexual behavior and responsibility is equally important.

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@hawkeye10,

Quote:

She should be made to understand that advertising herself as a loose woman is not a good idea if she is not the type...... encouraging unwanted behaviour is either stupid or mean, and I dont approve of it either way.

I think it bears pointing out that with some men - and they are likely the ones who are more apt to go through with sex despite loud and serious protests - is that some men have a screw loose, and legitimately believe that dress and flirty behavior IS an invitation that the girl has no right to revoke. There are attached moral beliefs for some guys that does reduce a woman's value in his eyes and he feels that his debasement of her physically isn't a far reach from the debasement she's already performed through her "amoral behavior."
http://madonnawhore.com/ These feelings are likely a lot more prevalent than we might know - and I think in extreme cases can lead to murder/serial killing. In milder cases, maybe she gets off comparatively lightly - with a rape.

1 Reply

@Lash,

Quote:

is that some men have a screw loose, and legitimately believe that dress and flirty behavior IS an invitation that the girl has no right to revoke.

It is not that, it is that men are led to anger by what they perceive to be female taunting. Maybe this is not what the woman intended, maybe she is stupid or only thinks of herself, but the message received does matter some. And while the rape feminist will quickly assume that the man is wrong in his perception, that he believed what he wanted to believe when the woman seemed to be available, I have seen way to much female taunting of males to buy that load.

We should be taking two tracks, one is the current one where we tell men not to rape and what consent looks like, the one that is missing is telling women to be clear about what they want, dont lie, and dont taunt men.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

I think this is the huge gulf of our parting, Hawk. A woman should be able to dress any way she likes, dance, drink, have fun, laugh, flirt with who she pleases - and not worry that some angry guy in the corner is seething in private - wanting to take her down a peg or two by raping her in the back alley - just because he's not the one going home with her tonight.

I DO think we should tell our daughters about making safe choices - but ultimately, no matter how careless, stupid or crass she is - she deserves not to have a guy take out his frustration on her with his cock.

I disagree about taunting. Many times, taunting is in the eye (or baggage-laden head) of the beholder...

Do appreciate you sharing thoughts, though.

1 Reply

@Lash,

Quote:

I disagree about taunting. Many times, taunting is in the eye (or baggage-laden head) of the beholder...

I submit that mostly it is in the brain chemistry and how our brains are wired. Men and women are not the same, and women need to respect that. Expecting men to rewire our brains into women is not either fair nor reasonable.

I love how with racial or cultural stuff we say that perception is everything, that if someone is offended the behaviour must stop now, but that when it comes to gender stuff male perception of female behaviour counts for exactly nothing according to the rape feminists.

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@spidergal,

Quote:

Just because I regret sleeping with a guy later doesn't make it rape belatedly. I agreed to have sex with him - my bad the guy turns out to be a jerk.

You missed my point. The long term effect of sleeping with the wrong men is sexual humiliation. This can be too the point of having the same effect as a rape.

Quote:

Quote:
Sexual instincts such as humans have are VERY similar in most higher mammals.
The bit about animals was slightly confusing, IMO. We may share some of our sexual instincts with animals, but we've also got a frontal cortex which has evolved to think logically and make rational decisions, an ability animals lack. So what exactly are you driving at?

I said higher mammals, which not only means a frontal cortex but ones that have a similar frontal cortex to us. As for confusing, I cant help unless you are specific.

Quote:

So you'll not present us with evidence, after all?

Thats correct.

Quote:

In anyway, just because a woman enjoys erotic fantasies of rough sex, doesn't mean she would like it done to her in rape form.

I would hazard to guess it means she definitiely wouldnt like it done or she would be out fulfilling that fantasy every night. The point was we shouldnt tell women they must feel absolutely devastated and that they deserve great sympathy if they are raped. It is a bad experience and telling them they shouldnt feel like a survivor is hurtful. Of course they are allowed to feel good about rape...they survived a very dangerous situation and telling them how much we pity them is not the right attitude. We should be very positive if the rape had a comparatively minor effect...eg not pregnant, not infected, not physically permanently damaged.....somethings are not suited for therapy depending on the person. Some physical injuries from say car accidents heal better if the person goes back to a normal life of movement. Some emotional scars are the same, it depends on the person but tellling people "oh you poor pitiful thing....." is raping them again.

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@spidergal,

Quote:

Rape is not sex gone bad, hello? You make it sound like rape is a mutual thing

sexual relationships ARE a mutual thing, and almost always both parties play some part when things go bad, just like in any relationship. When we go to marriage counseling we are told at the start to stop blaming the other person, to look at ourselves and own what we did wrong. Confusion in sexual consent happen because both parties did wrong, outright invasions of another person might or might not have been prevented if the one who was wronged made better choices, though the violation is not their fault.

In almost all cases other than pure predatory forceful conquest both parties need to come to terms with what they did wrong. As things stand now women get a pass for what they do wrong, they are encouraged to blame men for everything. This sucks, and will never lead to a good result.

1 Reply

We had one case of rape in Oz that infuriated the hell out of me. I wanted to find this guy and bash him to death. A beautiful young teenage girl was coming home a little late, it was twilight when she was attacked by a man near the train stop. He started to tear her clothes off so she begged him to do it anally as she was a virgin. He did a couple of times and then did it vaginally anyway. THAT is a very serious rape.

I dont see how that is the same as consensual sex between a 17 and an 18 yr old where the only damage done to the girl is when she is told she has been raped and will have to appear in court.

2 Replies

Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

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