Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

Workshop empowers bystanders in assault prevention
From IDS report |

Spill your drink. Say something. Stare.

If you see a scene that could lead to sexual assault, do something, said Sarah Robinson, director of IUSA Women’s Affairs. Bystander courage was the message of Wednesday’s workshop on sexual assault prevention. The Jill Behrman 5k committee and Office of Women’s Affairs presented the workshop in the Student Recreational Sports Center Auditorium.

Almost all the attendees announced they came for a class requirement, but they energetically answered questions and discussed sexual assault scenarios with speaker Robinson.

One scenario in particular spurred debate among the students.

If a guy slips a date rape drug into a girl’s drink and sexually assaults her, is it fair to say she should have been more careful?

A few students said they didn’t see a problem with saying the girl should have been more cautious if she didn’t want to be assaulted. Robinson allowed the discussion to continue, until the students came to their own conclusion.

“I thought it was really important that one girl came out and acknowledged that is a subtle form of victim blaming,” she said. “It was important that it came from a student and not from me.”

Bystanders can be those who witness a scene or hear a conversation that supports non-consensual sexual behavior.

Robinson presented another scenario:

A girl and guy are drinking at a party, and he’s trying to get her alone. She’s hesitant. Bystanders see the interaction.

“I would go into my mama mode and talk to them.”

“I would have all of my friends stare at him so we can draw attention to it.”

“If he’s bigger than me, I don’t want to mess with him.”

Even shy and non-confrontational people can be active bystanders, Robinson said. Her advice in this situation was to intervene through distraction, delegation or direct action. For example, she said, say there’s a car getting towed outside, get a friend involved or ask questions.

“What I really hoped everyone walked away with was the idea that all of them could be bystanders and have the potential to prevent sexual assault,” she said. “Or they could find a way to intervene that was comfortable and natural for them.”
http://www.idsnews.com/news/story.aspx?id=77668

Lessons in birds and bees from the boys in blue
Sex education for the 21st century as police warn children of dangers of internet dating
By Mark Hughes
Friday, 15 October 2010

Secondary school sex education lessons used to typically involve a middle-aged teacher blushing nervously as she rolled a condom over a cucumber in front of nervously giggling teenagers.

Today's coital curriculum sees children taught about the darker side of the birds and the bees. Sex crime detectives are going into the classroom to speak about the risks of more modern phenomena such as internet dating, date rape and gang rape.

The teaching of sex education is believed to have begun some time around the Second World War, when schools began educating boys who would soon become soldiers about the debilitating effects of syphilis and gonorrhoea. Sex education in the 1950s and 60s was limited to this and the perceived dangers of onanism. The emergence of HIV and Aids in the 1980s meant that the focus of theses lessons shifted to the importance of safe sex.

Latterly the discussion has been about when, rather that what, should be taught, with some suggesting that children are being taught too young. Just before the election this year the Labour Government dropped a plan to make sex education lessons, which currently focus on puberty and reproduction, compulsory.

Until now little has been taught about sexual assault. Following the cases involving serial rapists John Worboys and Kirk Reid – in which the Metropolitan Police was strongly criticised for multiple failings – Scotland Yard reorganised its specialist "Sapphire" units investigating sex crimes under one central command, and decided to tackle the prevention of sex crime as well as its investigation. The newly structured unit has teamed up with schools across London, particularly in the borough of Lambeth.

Detective Chief Superintendent Caroline Bates, who heads the Sapphire Unit, said that they want to address the problem of schoolboys forcing girls to have sex. "There are young men who do not seem to realise that they are likely to get arrested for certain types of behaviour, such as inducements to perform sex acts," she said.

"Young men are telling girls, 'If you do not do this to me and my mates then I am going to put photographs of you on Facebook.' That is blackmail but it is often seen as just a part of life. We are telling people that they have a right to say no."

She added: "We are talking to young men about the risks they are taking as offenders and asking if they understand what rape is."

She added that they spoke to the schoolchildren more generally "about self-respect and about acting responsibly", explaining: "If they are going out we tell them to make sure one friend stays sober and to stick together as a group. And we warn them that if they decide to take drugs then that will make them more vulnerable. We also advise them on what to do if using internet dating sites.

"We don't preach to them and we appreciate that their sex lives are their own and at the end of the day it is up to the individual, but we tell them how to stay safe from sexual assault."

Det Ch Supt Bates said that children as young as 12 were coming to them to report sexual assaults.

"There is a big increase in the sexualisation of children, whether that is about the clothes sold at certain shops or the magazines which talk about celebrities' sex lives but are clearly aimed at children," she said. "The internet makes all of that instant. Some of these kids live their lives around the internet."

In all the coverage of the recent sexual assaults at the University of Minnesota, there's one line I just can't get out of my head.

In the St. Paul Pioneer Press, a campus police spokesman noted how unusual it is to have so many incidents reported in just two weeks.

The key word here is "reported." What's unusual is that this many assaults got reported so close together -- not that they happened.

Between the three at fraternity houses and another just last Tuesday at the Radisson Hotel on campus, we've heard about four assaults since Sept. 18. A Justice Department report found that only one in 20 sexual assaults is reported to the police. Are there 76 more we haven't heard about?

I was a college freshman in 1979, and I was raped at a frat house. It never occurred to me to call the police. I knew what had been done to me was awful, but I didn't know to call it rape.

Like a lot of people, I thought rape meant a stranger in a dark alley, not someone you know in a place you thought was safe.

Eventually, I did tell a few people. Not the police but some close friends. And I found out something that shocked me. Many of my friends had also been raped. And none of us had ever mentioned it to each other.

It's not just that most rape survivors never tell the police. Close to half of us never tell anyone.

A colleague told me recently she doesn't know anyone who's been the victim of a violent crime. "Yeah, you do," I told her. "We all do. We just don't know it."

Now I speak at colleges and universities. Every time I tell my story, other survivors tell me theirs. Sometimes I'm the first person they've told.

Rape still carries a stigma, and that fosters a culture both of silence. Silence and skepticism.

Minneapolis police have finished their investigation into one of the fraternity incidents. They say that no charges will be filed -- that there's not enough evidence "to support a criminal prosecution."

But that doesn't mean there was no assault. They just can't prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. And with rape, doubt is our go-to response even though false reports are as rare as unreported rapes are common.

If we want more survivors to come forward, we need some radical lessons in listening. If we want to make our campuses safe, we must first acknowledge how dangerous they really are. Campus police decided not to issue a crime alert after the most recent assault, they say, because there's "no ongoing threat to the institution."

But what about the ongoing threat to its students?

In the courtroom, pain revealed before trial
Jurors in sex assault cases must answer if they've had an experience that could skew their verdict
Oct. 16, 2010

There's a dramatic scene that plays out in courtrooms when prospective jurors in sexual assault trials are asked if they or anyone close to them has ever been molested or assaulted.

Jane Foley, who has made a career of advocating for sexual assault victims for the Milwaukee County district attorney's office, was struck by what she witnessed while sitting in on jury selection at a recent trial involving the sexual assault of a child.

"All these hands went up" when the question was asked, she said. "I was in pain watching this. I just wanted to step in and take all of them out in the hallway and give them referrals" to counseling.

These are ordinary citizens, women and men, honoring their oath to speak honestly. Often it's a painful truth that they've never told anyone, let alone a brightly lit courtroom full of strangers.

On that day in court, Foley heard eight people - addressed by their juror numbers - pour out just enough details to help determine whether they could be fair and impartial on a jury.

Two women on the panel said not only had they been sexually attacked, but they each had a daughter who had been assaulted. Another person talked of being assaulted by a stepfather as a young child. One related the story of being assaulted by a neighbor, but backing off on pressing charges after being threatened. One had a teenage friend molested by a family member. One had a mother who was assaulted as a child, also by a family member. And on it went.

At one point, a woman who had finished telling her story, turned and held the hand of a woman behind her as she shared her own traumatic memories.

You wonder how many other people in the jury pool simply kept their secrets to themselves.

"I think there are some rapidly beating hearts on these juries. They have to make a decision. They have to tell their truth," Foley said.

Milwaukee County Circuit Judge David Hansher said he believes a large percentage of these jurors, perhaps even half, are revealing their victimization for the first time. "They say, I'm telling you now and I've never told my family. They break out crying. You hear it so often, it's heartbreaking," he said.

Most judges in Milwaukee will offer these prospective jurors the option of going into the judge's chambers and talking there. It's hardly in private. The judge, lawyers and even the defendant in the case are in the small room, and the court reporter is taking it all down for the public record.

One judge here, Jean DiMotto, does not offer that option.

"It extends the shamefulness of it. It's not the victims' fault that they were raped," she said. "I will not perpetuate that as an experience that is unmentionable. We need to know that this happens to people from all walks of life."

The questions are less prying than people might think, she said. It's the basics of the type of assault it was, how long ago it happened, and whether anyone was caught and convicted. Then the person is asked whether they could set aside the experience and decide the case impartially. They are not automatically eliminated from consideration by the judge. Often, but not always, the defense strikes them from the list.

On at least two occasions, DiMotto called for a victim advocate to come to her courtroom and counsel an upset juror. Once it was Foley who walked a lady in her late 50s back to the jury assembly area. "This poor woman, she was a wreck," Foley said.

Milwaukee County Chief Judge Jeffrey Kremers said unfortunately the system is not equipped to provide every affected juror with professional counseling. Sometimes a referral to an agency has to be enough.

"As a court system, how do we deal with that? It's become a concern," he said.

And it's not just sexual assaults. Jurors have become emotional talking about being robbed or having a family member murdered. It's information the court needs to assure a fair trial.

Thirty-three years ago, when Kremers was a prosecutor in the sensitive crimes unit, it was less common for jurors to reveal what had happened to them. There's more openness today. In the case Foley witnessed, all the jurors spoke in front of everyone.

"Now, it's not unusual for several people or more to say they've been the victim of some unwanted sexual activity. People are more willing to talk about it," Kremers said.

He will make a presentation on this issue to fellow judges this week at the annual meeting of the Wisconsin Judicial Conference. One bit of advice he will offer: Don't simply ask whether anyone has been the victim of a sexual assault. You'd be surprised how many people do not relate to the word victim, perhaps because the matter was never reported to police or taken to court. And some of those who were inappropriately touched, especially by a family member, don't necessarily think of that as a sexual assault.

Even among people who were sexually assaulted, DiMotto estimates that perhaps 60% said they could be fair in deciding the case.

"Are those matters that you feel could affect your impartiality?" a different judge asked one woman at the trial Foley witnessed.

"I'm a Christian," the possible juror responded. "I'm a saved woman, so that wouldn't affect me."

Jim Stingl
http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/105112929.html

His voting the posts up and down is a riot. That he'd even think of doing something so juvenile just shows what a puny little twerp he is. His woman-bashing comments aren't getting him anywhere, so now he's trying to clobber us with his thumbs down votes. The moron seems to feel that if he votes himself up someone, somewhere, will feel he's actually made a valid point. He's playing games with himself.

Quote:

Looks like someone came along and voted us back up and him back down, though. I wished they hadn't so you could have seen it.

SOMEONE repeat SOMEONE?

You mean Brooke it was not dozens of users but just one person voting my posts down and your posts up. LOL

I am shock just shock that this could be happening.