Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

Reply Fri 15 Oct, 2010 02:26 pm
Another update on the incest/rape trial in New Jersey. This man just flat out denies reality. The prosecutor has no trouble discrediting his credibility.I hate to say it, but this man's logic reminds me of Billy Boy Troll's reasoning when he defends his absurd claims.Laughing
Accused of incestuous rape, ‘blueblood’ denies exaggerating how ‘intelligent’ he is
Friday, October 15, 2010

A former Paterson man on trial for allegedly trying to create his own "blue blood" race by impregnating his biological 14-year-old daughter was confronted by a prosecutor on cross-examination Thursday with high school and college transcripts that appear to contradict his claims of excelling in the classroom.

Ayinde, 52, testified previously under direct questioning by his defense lawyer that he was well-read and a combination of bookworm and jock when in high school. He also described himself as of high intelligence and morals as a young student growing up in Paterson.

While Ayinde, now of Atlantic City, testified that his SAT scores were about 1400, Passaic County Senior Assistant Prosecutor Lisa Squitieri, in a concerted attack on his credibility, presented him with transcripts that state that he received a score of 32 in the verbal portion and 38 in math, for a total score of 70. Another transcript, from New Jersey Institute of Technology, that she presented to him on the witness stand states that he was dismissed from the school after one year for poor grades.

Ayinde disputed the authenticity of all the transcripts, which the prosecution entered as evidence in the trial before jurors and state Superior Court Judge Raymond A. Reddin in Paterson. Ayinde said to his knowledge, a score as low as 70 is impossible to get on the SAT and he maintained he was a good student both in high school and beyond.

"It's not my transcript," he said, speaking of the NJIT transcript, when the prosecutor showed it to him.

"So there's some other Aswad Ayinde out there?" Squitieri said, noting that his former name of "Eric McGill" was also on the transcript, reflecting his legal name change in 1977 during mid-semester. "Does it say academic dismissal here?" she said, pointing to the transcript.

"That's what it says. I wasn't dismissed, though. These aren't my records. I think you know that."

"Sir, they are your records. Maybe you don't want them to be, but …"

With that, Newark defense attorney Daryl Pennington objected to Squitieri's commenting instead of questioning.

Squitieri also entered as evidence a letter from a company named GAF; Ayinde had testified he left NJIT to go to work for a year and a half there.

"Would it surprise you that there are no records of you ever working at GAF, the job you said you worked at for a year and a half? The job you said you left school for?" Squitieri asked. She noted that the document had the company's seal and letterhead and was from its human resources department.

"No, that's not what it says," Ayinde responded. "It says no records FOUND."

Ayinde has denied on the witness stand ever beating or raping his daughter, as the prosecution charges. He also denied claims from his wife and daughter during the trial that he claimed he was a prophet, controlled their diet, denied them doctors' care and restricted their contact with the outside world.

He depicted himself on direct questioning as a smart, moral, intelligent, well-read man who was raised on the finer things in life, such as Armani suits and exposure to different cultures. He said he ultimately chose to raise his family in an unconventional way, acknowledging there were two "co-wives" during the marriage, that he delivered his children himself at home, home-schooled them and ran a "holistic household." But he said all of it was for their benefit, and that they were never abused.
Arella Mae
Reply Fri 15 Oct, 2010 03:19 pm
Right......................for their benefit. I am beginning to notice another kind of trait in these rapists. Narcisism (sp?). Always puffing themselves up like this guy and his Armani suits. If there is one single person in the courtroom that believes the lies spewing out of this man's mouth they would have to be insane.
Reply Fri 15 Oct, 2010 07:25 pm
@Arella Mae,
The man is very grandiose and that is consistent with what his wife and daughter said about him. He is a terrible witness in his own defense--his defense attorney must be cringing.

There was another college rape in the news...
Students Not Surprised By Rape On KU Campus
October 14, 2010

LAWRENCE, Kan. -- University of Kansas police said a female student reported being raped in a university parking lot Wednesday morning.

KU police said the rape was reported between 2:30 a.m. and 3:10 a.m. in parking lot 100 near 14th Street and Ohio Avenue.

"She was walking back to her residence from a local bar and she was grabbed from behind and sexually assaulted," said Capt. Schuyler Bailey with KU police.

"I'm not surprised. This isn't a safe part of town," said Rachel Thomas, a KU student.

The area around 14th and Ohio is well-known to KU students. It's an older bar district that gets a lot of attention.

"I've been down here once before with friends and I won't go back," said University of Kansas student Jessica Hall.

Police said the victim didn't know her attacker and right now they have little to go on. The victim described her attacker as a white man with a medium build.

Some students said the recent rape is just another unfortunate incident reminding them anything can happen on or off of campus.

"It's sad. We've had multiple incidents like this and I think it's time to actually try to do something about it," said Thomas.
0 Replies
Reply Fri 15 Oct, 2010 08:04 pm
It is great that they are using speakers like this one to address middle school and high school students. He sounds like he can get the message across in a way young males can understand. Whether they heed the message, only time will tell, but at least they are hearing it.

Voices of Men: Ending violence against women
Ayer Middle High School hosts anti-violence speaker
By Dina Samfield, Correspondent
Nashoba Publishing
Posted: 10/15/2010

AYER/SHIRLEY -- With the student Human Rights Squad sitting in the front of an auditorium full of Ayer High School students, Principal Don Parker introduced the school's Oct. 4 special guest, who later also performed at Ayer-Shirley Middle School.

"We are very privileged this morning to have Ben Atherton-Zeman, who will be having a discussion with you," Parker said. "Ben is a spokesperson for the National Organization for Men Against Sexism and is a public speaker on issues of violence prevention.

"He has given presentations in 36 states, Canada, China, and the Czech Republic. He has spoken at colleges, high schools, public theaters, conferences, houses of worship, and juvenile detention facilities. For the past 17 years, Ben has worked as a prevention educator for rape crisis centers, domestic violence programs, and state coalitions. He is a board member of the Sudbury/Wayland/Lincoln Domestic Violence Roundtable and an advisory board member for the White Ribbon Campaign in the United Kingdom."

The production that the students were about to witness is called "Voices of Men." Its originator and presenter has received recognition and praise for his work to end men's violence against women, sexism, homophobia, racism, and other forms of oppression.

Before this presentation for Ayer High School students, Atherton-Zeman had returned to his home in Maynard after performing at a college in Michigan, and offered training and technical assistance for employees in Alabama.

Every 12 seconds...

He began his performance at Ayer High by ringing a chime several times.

"I am ringing this chime every 12 seconds because somewhere in the U.S. a man abuses the woman that he has promised to love. Every 2 minutes in the U.S. a man rapes a woman, and it's usually a woman he knows. Every second a man abuses a woman -- but most of us don't rape and don't abuse," he said.

"Where are the rest of us who do not abuse women? The voices of men should join the women fighting against violence against women," he offered.

Changing the culture one voice at a time

"The victims I have worked with are real and their stories are real," Atherton-Zeman said. "The first time I heard a woman tell me her story about violence I felt angry and sad, but I also wanted to do something about.

"...Most of the victims I have worked with are girls and women, and most of the perpetrators are men. Because of that it is our responsibility in particular, as guys, to try to do something about it.

"When you think of a men's magazine you don't think of men raising their voices against violence, you usually think of magazines with pictures of naked women.

"Some of you may approve of that, but that says that we don't care about the lives and dreams of women. Do you want those things to happen to the girls and women in your lives?" he asked.

During his performance, Atherton-Zeman also expressed his dismay at the kinds of roles that men play on television, in movies and in violent sports.

"We need more roles written for men where part of that guy's character is where a man stands up against violence against women and is accountable to his own use of sexism, racism, and homophobia. That is a guy who supports women's leadership on this issue. I am convinced we can change the culture one man at a time.

"This show is about what could happen if this were to happen," he said.

In different public service announcements throughout his presentation were messages like, "If it's against her will, it's against the law. To get respect you give respect."

'No' does not have to be verbal

In between PSAs, Atherton-Zeman portrayed various characters, the first of which was the character Rocky Balboa from the movie Rocky.

"Hey...Yo...How you guys doing?" he asked, as he sauntered on stage in a robe, parroting Sylvester Stallone's stereotypical machismo.

"A few of you remember my girlfriend Adrienne from the movie. Adrienne, she dumped me... I said, 'How could you break up with this?' "

"She said, 'You never respected me, even when I said 'no' to you.' "

Through the Rocky character, Atherton-Zeman made the point that there are many ways that women say 'no' to sexual advances, and that each one of them really means 'no,' even if the woman is giggling nervously when she says it.

He demonstrated this by using clips from Rocky. In them, Adrienne uses body language that says 'no' by tensing up, making faces, moving away from Rocky, and trying to leave. As the scenes continue, the number of times she says 'no,' either in body language or words, is ticked off on the screen. The number of times that Rocky continues to ignore her wishes also shows up on the screen.

When "Rocky" asked the students in the audience what he did wrong, they pointed out that he ignored her desire to leave, used his larger size, and even physically blocked the exit as ways to intimidate the object of his affection.

"Have you ever seen a date of yours on the big screen? I didn't like it. I really loved her; I didn't mean to mess up like this...so I better do something about this, right? So I did a search on the Internet and found 'Men can stop rape' (http://www.mencanstoprape.org).

"I figured these guys knew what they were talking about so I called them on the phone and told them what happened and they said, 'You messed up.' "

Myth-busting sexual violence

"That is one of the myths about sexual violence --that she can say 'no' and you can keep going. It is a myth that she is playing a game, and even if she is, you have to stop, because if you are wrong you are guilty of sexual violence. Consent has got to be verbal, enthusiastic, unmistakable, that you work out between the two of you," Atherton-Zeman said.

He said that myth No. 2 is if somebody is drunk and they get raped, it is somehow their fault. "It is never the victim's fault for being raped. Actually, if you are drunk or high, then you can't be with somebody because they cannot give consent. If they are drunk or high, you have to wait until they're sober."

Myth No. 3, he said, is that strangers are usually the perpetrators in cases of rape. Most of the time it is somebody you know, trust, and like.

Myth No. 4 is that female victims lie about rape. In reality, this happens only about 2 percent of the time, he said.

Myth No. 5 is what he called the "Point of No Return." The reality, he said, is that men can choose when and why they stop sexual advances toward women.

He then set up an example: "The girlfriend's parents are gone for the night and I go to her house. I want to make this a nice romantic date, so what should I bring?" As the audience made suggestions, he brought out flowers, a condom, chocolate, and a candle. He then put on some romantic music.

"What's the worst thing that could happen?" he asked the audience. "The parents come home!"

In character, Atherton-Zeman ran to answer the door and let the audience help him make excuses for what he was doing there to the girlfriend's imaginary parents.

Finally, he said, "We are at the 'point of no return,' so we can't stop just because you came home. If you would just give us the house for 10 minutes...

"Would I really negotiate with the parents!? I would leave, or hide. But all of your suggestions involve one thing," he said to the audience. "I would stop, wouldn't I? You see why it's a myth, right? We can stop on a dime."

Abuse is not always physical

In his stint as James Bond, Atherton-Zeman demonstrated that abuse is not just about physical violence. "If you tell people what they can wear or who they can see, or call or text when they don't want to be contacted, you have just got to stop," he said. "If you instant message them every time they are online and they have asked you not to, you have to stop. Some of you may think that that's OK, but it's actually a warning sign. If you say 'Don't talk to that guy,' that's a warning sign."

Rather than blaming victims for staying with abusive partners, the question should be why the men are abusive, and what we can do as a community to give safety to women, he said, adding, "abuse doesn't discriminate -- men and women, gay and straight."

White Ribbon Campaign

Another PSA showed men cheering as other men pummeled each other during sporting events. The message of the video was, "Why is it when a man hits another man, it's OK to make a lot of noise, but when a man hits a woman, it's OK to stay silent."

The clip is part of the White Ribbon Campaign (http://www.whiteribbon.ca), the largest effort in the world of men working to end Violence Against Women.

"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." - Paula Treichler, co-author of For Alma Mater: Theory and Practice in Feminist Scholarship

At the conclusion of his presentation, he said, "Some people feel preached to or don't agree with the message, and if that is the case I want to say I'm sorry. But even if you don't agree, you will still be arrested if you rape or abuse someone.

He asked the men in the audience who would like to take the White Ribbon Campaign pledge to stand. First one, then two, and then all of the men in the audience stood and read together, "I pledge to never commit, condone, or remain silent about men's violence against women. I choose to respect, listen to, and seek equality with every person I date, and every person I know."

Reply Fri 15 Oct, 2010 10:26 pm
I was wondering if you had seen this. Was quite the talk on campus. I know it's just wishful thinking, but I, for some reason, expect better out of Yale. What a bunch of assholes. Makes ya wanna spit in their faces. The school needs to do something about this.

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Reply Sat 16 Oct, 2010 01:33 am
Yeah, even at Yale.

But I don't think the fraternity expected the vehement reaction they got. They probably figured the feminist types would have been in a huff, but they really didn't figure they would get across the board outrage to something they saw as normal fraternity revelry--just "boys being boys" hi-jinx. Otherwise, their first apology wouldn't have been so lame. Their second mea culpa, that they were clearly shamed and pressured into writing, sounds as though they were able to muster some sober reflection about what they had done and how other people viewed it.

I expect the school will do something about it. The incident got too much publicity, and play on YouTube, all of which reflected negatively on Yale, and the administration isn't going to just let this slide by, nor is the Womens Center. What might come out of it remains to be seen, but at least the issue is out in the open and there are strong calls for action.

According to the statement put out by the Womens Center, this sort of thing, and other instances of sexism/misogyny are nothing new at Yale, but tolerance for it has decreased, and that's the first step in being able to address it head-on. This latest fraternity stunt may have been the last straw as far as brushing this sort of thing aside. The Womens Center is obviously going to try to capitalize on the strong support they've gotten over this incident, and maybe that will produce some honest and open dialogue about this sort of thing that will eventually lead to changed attitudes and changed behaviors.

If that fraternity started out thinking this was just a big joke, they not only suddenly found out that very few people were laughing with them, they also found themselves being viewed in a very harsh and unflattering light. That's the response that's got to occur before these nitwits will finally be forced to grow up and behave more like responsible young men. And that same negative reaction has to occur at campuses across the country. When this sort of thing really is regarded as unacceptable and intolerable, then attitudinal change really is possible.

So, I'm honestly optimistic about some good coming out of this outrageous incident.

Yale has its problems, but Duke University couldn't have been thrilled with the viral explosion of Karen Owen's powerpoint Sex Thesis on the internet.

What was the buzz on your campus about that one? How did other females view Owen?

One of the encounters she describes was apparently a legal rape, but that doesn't seem to have crossed her mind, possibly because she was too embarrassed about the whole thing and her own drunken blacked out state--which is probably also why many women who have found themselves in such situations don't label it "rape".
I was a bit surprised she even bothered to include it in her "thesis" given what it says about both her and the male involved--and, by saying that I don't mean to blame her for the apparent rape, but rather that she is presenting herself as a drunken mess.

In a "thesis" that's apparently intended to be a fairly light hearted sex romp, the above is considerably more dark than light and, I think, it's rather depressing, bruises and all. Did he really think she was in any condition to be able to legally consent? Did he even care? We'll never know--and neither will she.

Reply Sat 16 Oct, 2010 09:35 am
Yes, it is true that instances of sexism/misogyny are nothing new at Yale. They don’t exactly have a good reputation there when it comes to how females are treated. Still, for a college of that caliber, it seems that they would be smart enough to get this problem under control. Apparently not. I would not want a daughter of mine attending there. Hopefully this is an eye-opener for the administration.

At my college there is huge problem with guys coming up behind you and recording your butt with their cell phones as you walk. You have no idea they are even doing it. My butt ended up on a social network page, along with 4 other girls, to be voted on to see who had the nicest ass. When I was tipped off about it, I went to dude's page to see for myself. I asked him to please remove it. He made a big joke about it and said that I should feel complimented that my ass made the top 5 and was doing well in the voting process. I wasn't humored by this, so I asked him again to take it off of there, only that time I gave him 60 seconds or I would have the school remove it. He took it off. He then posted on his page that I made him remove it. This set me up to be victimized by umpteen cell phones recording my arse. So in some ways, I made things worse for myself. The school knows this goes on, but they don't know how to stop it, or perhaps they aren't really trying. Now, I just ignore it. What can you do? It's just another one of the things that goes on and on and on.

On the Owen case at Duke, I didn’t hear as much hoopla concerning that. I’m not sure how many people I know read her thesis. I did read it, along with my roomies one night. I think Owen is an absolute idiot. She destroyed her reputation, and that will follow her around for years, including her search for a prestigious job. I can ill imagine what her conquests in this thesis have went through. Especially the ones that were given a poor rating. There was really no surprise amongst us concerning her documentation of that legal rape. Sad is the fact that these females don’t even realize what constitutes a rape. Why isn’t there more education involved in this problem? I think much of it has to do with the fact that our colleges do not want an increase in the amount of reported rapes. This hurts their image when people apply there. Everything is about protecting their image.

Can you imagine, firefly, how the statistics on rape would change if every single person that was raped actually reported it? If rapists actually had to pay for their crime and not get a free pass? I wonder how many new prisons we would have to build to house them all.


Reply Sat 16 Oct, 2010 12:48 pm
At my college there is huge problem with guys coming up behind you and recording your butt with their cell phones as you walk. You have no idea they are even doing it. My butt ended up on a social network page, along with 4 other girls, to be voted on to see who had the nicest ass.

Truly, that is one of the stupidest, most juvenile, forms of sexist harassment I've ever heard. These guys sound like they're in junior high school not college. Isn't there a way to hold them up to ridicule without getting overly malicious about it? Humor, particularly satire or parody, can be an effective weapon if used properly. Can't a Facebook page be set up to do that sort of thing? Are there any active Womens groups on your campus?

I can believe that Owen never thought her "thesis" would wind up all over the internet. She just doesn't seem to have considered the consequences of anything she was doing--including the consequences of the behavior she was engaging in with her "subjects". She risked an awful lot, including her own reputation on campus, just to engage in a lot of mostly drunken sex with athletes. Besides the rape, at least one man treated her like a hooker with a hookup that lasted about all of 5 minutes.

It seems like some women on the internet applauded Owen's rating of these men, including her ratings of penis size. They thought turnabout was fair play since men rate women (even their asses) all the time. I don't agree. There is nothing to cheer about when women behave as badly as the men do. And, since this whole thing went public I feel very sorry for the men she identified and humiliated in that way, particularly those on the bottom of her list.

I wish someone would write a really serious internet article about what is wrong with the kind of alcohol fueled impersonal casual sexual hookup Owen describes, and how it's contributing to campus rapes. Owen tried to act as though she didn't care much how these men treated her, other than to give them low ratings. But who really likes being treated like a hooker with a 5 minute sex job, or being raped in a blacked out state? If this is what happened to her, and she knowingly sought these encounters (with the exception of the one when she was blacked out), what happens to all those women who simply get drunk at a party, or in a bar, and really can't deal with being treated like that? These women know they've been abused, they know they've been raped, and they also know they won't be believed or taken seriously if they report it. Owen prided herself on how cool she acted when she woke up in a strange bed with a guy she hadn't knowingly hooked up with, but even she had to feel some sense of shame about it--she didn't even have the guts to ask the man what had gone on, because she didn't want to admit to him she didn't know what had happened.

Had Owen been more honest with herself, and identified this particular incident as a rape, and this man as a rapist, she would have done a lot more good, even to the close friends she originally intended her "thesis" for, than any of her rankings of sexual prowess or penis size. She could have helped to break a conspiracy of silence about this sort of rape. Those encounters she sought, and actively and willingly participated in, were fine. Even the 5 minute hookup was just lousy sex. But rape is a whole different ball game. All those men who seem baffled about why a woman would suddenly decide the next day that she had been raped could learn something from this. Those men who think the woman is just having "buyers remorse" could learn something from this. When a woman is so drunk that she's in a blackout, she cannot consent to sex, and that is rape. And every man who has sex with a very intoxicated woman can potentially be accused of rape. No woman should put herself in such a risky, very inebriated state, but even Owen wasn't "asking to be raped". The problem is the male who opportunistically takes advantage of the situation to commit a rape. But Owen, and many other rape victims, feel too embarrassed to admit that, even to themselves.

This was one of the few internet articles I could find that actually addresses the issue of Owen's rape, and I don't feel this one is strong enough.

Linda's Women's Issues Blog
By Linda Lowen
The Implications of the Duke 'Mock' Thesis Sex List
Tuesday October 12, 2010

I've been asked this question a lot in the past week: "Why haven't you written about the female student at Duke who rated her sexual partners in a PowerPoint 'mock' thesis?"

I waited because my preference is to focus on the reactions that have popped up in the mainstream media and to look at the deeper issues raised. I'm not so sure this was simply just a light-hearted account of a woman bedding down a long list of Duke jocks and lacrosse players and enjoying herself.

If the story has somehow escaped your notice, the New York Times covered it last Thursday. They also mentioned that on Jezebel, one of the two websites that broke the story, an editor from Harper Collins was interested in contacting Karen Owen, the 22-year-old recent Duke graduate behind the 'thesis.' (Deadspin was the other site, and there a movie producer and an agent from William Morris reached out to her.) They're fascinated by the prurient details and the table-turning theme of a woman having 'no attachment' sex and rating her partners without hesitation or regret...like many men do.

This was allegedly a private joke Owen shared with three friends, never intending it to be seen beyond the group. Jezebel describes it as "a young woman laughing about and celebrating her own sex life."

The media sees it as an irresistible combination of titillation, an in-your-face admission that women can be as casual about sex as men, role reversal, and perceived female empowerment.

Some of those themes were touched upon during a segment on NBC's TODAY show. According to psychologist Judith Sills, "She acted not like the classic victim when guys do this traditionally, but like the aggressor. She had high risk no-attachment sex, she is comfortable with it, then she bragged about it -- a traditional gender-bending behavior."

Co-host Meredith Viera brought up the fact that Owen has become a hero to many women for turning the tables and objectifying the other sex. Sills' response was that it resonates with women because these men got a taste of what women typically experience: "This is what it feels like, and you know what? It doesn't feel so bad to be on the aggressor side."

Dan Abrams, NBC's chief legal analyst, stated, "From a legal perspective, if it had been a man who had written this about a number of women, it's more likely there'd be a number of lawsuits...because of the societal differences."

Sills notes the shock value is what makes the story compelling: "Young women do this? They get drunk and think, 'I wonder if I can have a piece of him,' and then they go home and tell their girlfriends. And they're not embarrassed or shocked. That really takes us aback."

When Vanity Fair covered it in their daily blog, one reader wrote:

Big deal. Crudely bragging about one's sexual exploits is nothing new, especially for Joe and Jane College. A more recent development is the pseudo-intellectual treatment of whoring around: a phenomenon for which we can be grateful to "academic feminism."

The sexual exploits of twentysomething women is the flavor of the month in the publishing and online world; editors can't seem to get enough confessional stories from female writers.

But is this merely another step on the path to liberation and gender equality? Or a smiley face slapped on top of a darker issue -- a tale being spun as a celebration which glosses over several elements of possible violation?

At the Date Safe Project, Mike Domitrz mines this theme:

[A]lmost all of the discussion is missing one important point:

A RAPE appears to be described in her PowerPoint presentation.

One of the sexual encounters she writes about is when she is "blacked out." Because she has no memory, she could have been passed out or blacked out. Either way, she was incapable of giving consent to sexual activity. She is almost positive they had sex based on the her body [sic] (including the many bruises she found from what she assumes was very "aggressive" sex)....

If you read the PowerPoint presentation, you will notice MANY of the encounters appear to be alcohol facilitated.

Why do you think no one is talking about at least one potential sexual assault in this PowerPoint presentation? Do you think people have no compassion for her because she treated sex like a season of "American Idol" (scoring the contestants in various categories)? She is NOT the first. She is simply the first FEMALE to gain public attention from doing so.

As Wendy Murphy has pointed out, the former website JuicyCampus had many, many examples of males doing exactly what the female at Duke was doing. At the time of JuicyCampus, many in society DID NOT seem to feel the women being "scored" or "rated" by the males breached legal privacy rights. When males were doing it, many people defended the behavior as "freedom of speech."

The 'Wendy Murphy' Domitrz refers to is the noted civil rights attorney who filed a ground-breaking complaint involving sexual harassment and enforcement of Title IX. As reported by SecurityOnCampus.org in August 2009:

Schools have the same obligation to respond to sexual harassment in cyberspace that they have when the harassment occurs in the classroom - according to a first of it's kind ruling this month from the U.S. Department of Education's Office for Civil Rights (OCR).

"This means that sexual harassment, such as the vile behavior we've all heard about that takes place on websites like juicycampus.com, is forbidden under Title IX even though it doesn't technically occur 'on campus'", said noted civil-rights attorney Wendy Murphy. Murphy who brought the complaint earlier this year on behalf of a sexual assault victim attending college in the northeast who had been subjected to literally hundreds of sexually explicit and sexist comments on the now closed gossip site.

Title IX requires gender equity in all educational programs that receive federal funding. Among other things, gender equity means that schools and colleges must take "prompt and equitable" and "effective" steps to eliminate sexual harassment on campus. This standard has long been interpreted to include things like sexually explicit, sexist and offensive comments made in a classroom or physically posted on campus, but OCR told Murphy this is the first instance of these rules being applied to statements and posts made in a public forum in cyberspace.

If one or more of the sexual encounters Owen describes involved rape, it's certainly disturbing but unfortunately not unusual.

Female college students are significantly more likely to be victims of rape or sexual assault than women of the same age group in the general population. It's estimated that 1 in 5 women attending college will be a victim of rape or attempted rape by the time she graduates.

The way Owen has written the piece downplays any suggestion of rape, although Domitrz points out that sexual assault was likely involved. As Jezebel chronicles it:

With one subject, the author blacked out and doesn't remember having sex, but doesn't seem troubled, by her own account....Overall, very little regret and lots of good humor.

What's particularly troublesome are the reactions to the "F*** List" as it's being labeled. For years, men have engaged in this behavior and it's been accepted as 'boys will be boys.' Perhaps it is empowering for women to enjoy casual sex and compare notes -- after all, Sex and the City built a successful TV series and two mediocre films on this premise. But Sex and the City didn't include blackout scenes or "many bruises" from aggressive sex.

There is nothing empowering about sex that may border on rape, that takes place when a woman is too drunk to stand up or push away a man so intent on sex that he doesn't care if his partner is consenting or even conscious. That's nothing to brag about.

'Girls can be girls' and have sex with as many partners as they choose, enjoy themselves and take pleasure in their own expression of sexuality and aggressiveness, and talk about it with as many friends as they're comfortable with.

But I'd sooner celebrate a woman's sexual conquests undertaken stone cold sober and with great deliberation than alcohol-fueled encounters that may thrust her into situations that can get out of hand, endanger her, or result in outright rape.

We aren't so far removed from the old days of "she's asking for it" that we can afford to be casual about it. If we're really going to own our sexuality in as straightforward a manner as men do, and be as unabashed in pursuing sexual conquests and reveling in our exploits, let's do it with clear heads and focused intentionality and no mixed messages.

Whether it's a 'thesis' of Karen Owen's devising or any other 'notch on my belt' style tally of men, there's no room for rape on any woman's list.
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Arella Mae
Reply Sat 16 Oct, 2010 08:06 pm
It was bound to happen. Now he's talking to himself. Laughing
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Reply Sun 17 Oct, 2010 09:22 am
@Arella Mae,
Because who in their right mind would want to talk to him? Laughing

Even his own wife apparently wants to keep a distance from him. Can you blame her?
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Reply Sun 17 Oct, 2010 09:32 am
Good news from L.A. on the rape kit backlog.
Sheriff's Department cuts backlog in testing rape kits
October 16, 2010 | 9:10 am
Officials at the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department have announced that they have completed counting and outsourcing nearly 5,000 backlogged rape kits that sparked controversy in 2008.

The kits still need to be tested and processed, but the Sheriff’s Department is on track to meet that goal in June 2011, spokesman Steve Whitmore said.

“It’s not only a good sign for the Sheriff’s Department, it’s a good sign for the county,” Whitmore said. “Everybody pitched in, and we’re on track. It shows what can be accomplished when everyone says ‘Yes, we’re going to do something.’”

Two years ago, when the number of untested kits was first disclosed, the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors urged the Sheriff’s Department to eliminate the backlog, and agreed to help pay for the tests through the county’s general fund.

Since then, 4,763 kits have been sent out for testing at various labs, department officials announced earlier this month. Once tested, authorities can search for matches through a national database.

Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky said that the backlog was caused by a poor monitoring system, and that a key objective now is to improve the procedure through which the Sheriff’s Department inventories and tests the kits.

The backlog needed to be cleared before a new system could be implemented, he said.

“This is a huge milestone for us,” Yaroslavsky said. “Some of these will produce hits who are rapists who are still walking the streets of California; it’s a treasure trove of opportunity to take dangerous criminals off the streets.”
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Reply Sun 17 Oct, 2010 10:07 am
Rosa: Globalize Anti-Violence Law
by Melinda Tuhus
Oct 13, 2010 7:59 am

A law that has protected American women from rape should help women around the world, New Haven’s U.S. Congresswoman declared Tuesday.

U.S. Rep. Rosa DeLauro promised to help make that happen as she spoke at an event at Southern Connecticut State University (SCSU) held in conjunction with Domestic Violence Awareness Month. She joined SCSU students have been doing their own work to stop date rape. She also joined Democratic attorney general candidate George Jepsen, for whom the press conference was largely a campaign endorsement; Jepsen spoke of his own efforts to combat violence against women.

When DeLauro spoke, she credited the 1994 Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) passed by Congress with making improvements in the lives of women who are terrorized by threats or violence from intimate partners.

She said despite statistics that one in three females in the U.S. will experience a sexual assault in her lifetime, “collective action can make a difference. [The law] has made a real difference. It changed the landscape for American women, giving survivors of domestic violence, of dating violence, sexual assault and stalking the ability to protect themselves.” She noted that $225 million in stimulus funding has gone to the Office on Violence Against Women.

DeLauro is one of the sponsors of a bill now in Congress—the International Violence Against Women Act —that would provide some of those same protections to women abroad.

She urged people present to contact other Congressional offices to try to get more cosponsors on board to move the bill forward.

“At least one out of every three women worldwide has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime, with rates of domestic violence reaching 70 percent in some countries,” according to Amnesty International’s website.

DeLauro’s bill would instruct the federal government to increase support for agencies that work with victims of domestic violence and rape around the world; and to respond more quickly to “humanitarian emergencies” and regional conflicts in which women and girls are being abused.

Swinging into Jepsen campaign mode, DeLauro added that when a Virginia college student tried to sue two men who raped her for violating her civil rights, under a provision of VAWA, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that provision unconstitutional, saying it violated states’ rights. She said Jepsen’s opponent in the attorney general race, Martha Dean, in a debate the previous day had said she supports the concept of nullification—of states’ right to nullify, or declare invalid, federal legislation.

She gave another example of an important federal law: the new health care law requires that insurance companies stop considering victims of domestic violence as having a pre-existing condition for the purpose of denying them coverage...

At SCSU, Jepsen was presented as a champion of the issue for the suite of bills he helped usher to passage while a state senator in 1993 that required campuses to report date rapes, added a $20 surcharge on marriage licenses to fund domestic violence shelters, stopped hospitals from charging women for rape kits, and made it easier to get restraining orders against abusive partners. He credited his wife’s involvement with domestic violence services in Stamford with raising his consciousness.

To the students and dignitaries gathered outside the women’s center at the intersection of Fitch and Crescent streets, he said, “Students need to report abuse in any form, because abuse short of violence can very soon escalate to violence.”..

“Red Flag” On Campus

College students are the population most vulnerable to date rape, so activists at SCSU are taking the issue on with a Red Flag Campaign to “flag” the warning signs of looming partner violence and stop it in its tracks.

Southern student Melissa Richardheads up a peer group on campus focused on education about and prevention of sexual assault on campus. All six peer educators are female. Richard said they partner with a “Male Initiative” that meets at the women’s center “trying to take responsibility, getting together as men, trying to end violence against women. We have different programs on campus that the men’s initiative carries out.”

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Reply Sun 17 Oct, 2010 10:13 am
Sexual and Dating Violence on Campuses: Research

•A study of 176 female college students indicated that: 1
◦Approximately 42% of all participants reported experiencing some type of coerced or forced kissing or fondling. 22% reported some type of coerced or forced oral-genital contact, 23% reported vaginal or anal intercourse as a result of continuous arguments or pressure. 6% reported having someone attempt vaginal or anal intercourse by use of threat or some degree of force. 9% reported having anal or vaginal intercourse under those same conditions.

•The National College Women Sexual Victimization Study (n=4,432) found that: 2
◦For their sample, the rate of completed and attempted rapes was 35 per every 1,000 female students. The researchers suggest that based on this rate, college campuses having 10,000 female students could theoretically have as many as 350 incidents of rape during the academic year.

◦For women who had been raped and sexually assaulted,
■9 of 10 offenders were known to the victim (boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, classmate, friend, acquaintance or co-worker).
■College professors were not identified as committing any rapes or sexual coercions, however they were cited as the offender in a low number of cases involving unwanted sexual contact.
■60% of completed rapes occurring on campus took place in the victim’s residence. 31% occurred in other living quarters on a campus and 10.3% took place in a fraternity. Off-campus victimizations also were more likely to occur in residences. Some respondents also reported that incidences took place in bars, dance clubs, and work settings.

•4 out of 5 students (81%) have experienced some form of sexual harassment during their school years. 3
•22% of all rape victims are between the usual college ages of 18-24. 4
•75% of male students and 55% of female students involved in date rape had been drinking or using drugs. 5
In a study of college students, 35% of men indicated some likelihood that they would commit a violent rape against a woman who had fended off an advance if they were assured of getting away with it. 6

•In a study surveying more than 6,000 students at 32 colleges and universities in the U.S. 7
◦1 in 4 women had been victims of rape or attempted rape.
◦84% of those raped knew their attacker, and 57% of the rapes happened on dates.
◦Only 27% of the women whose sexual assault met the legal definition of rape thought of themselves as rape victims.
◦42% of the rape victims told no one about the assault, and only 5% reported to the police.

•In a study of 477 males (a majority of whom—72%, were 1st and 2nd year students), 55.7% reported one or more instances of non-assaultive coercion to obtain sex. Coercion in this case is defined as threatening to end a relationship unless the victim consents to sex, falsely professing love, telling the victim lies to render her more sexually receptive. 8

•A survey of 388 female college seniors showed that 79.3% of those sampled who reported having been raped or sexually assaulted while intoxicated put all or part of the blame on themselves. 50% of the women raped by force or threat of force also took on some degree of self-blame. 9

•In a longitudinal dating violence study conducted with female freshmen at a North Carolina university, researchers found that the group of women most likely to be physically or sexually assaulted across the four years of college were those women with a history of both childhood and adolescent victimization. Women who were physically victimized in adolescence but not in childhood were the second highest group at risk. Women who were physically assaulted as adolescents were at greater risk for revictimization in their freshman year. Women who had been physically assaulted in any year of college were significantly more likely to be sexually assaulted that same year. 10

1 Marx, B.P., Nichols-Anderson, C. Messman-Moore, T., Miranda, R., and Porter, C. (2000). “Alcohol Consumption Outcomes Expectations and Victimization Status Among Female College Students, Journal of Applied Psychology, Vol. 30, No. 5, 1056-1070.

2 Fisher, S., Cullen, F., Turner, M., 2000. The Sexual Victimization of College Women. Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Justice.

3 Hostile Hallways: The AAUW Survey on Sexual Harassment in America’s Schools. AAUW Educational Foundation, 1993.

4 Kilpatrick, DJ, Edmunds, CN, Seymour, A. 1992. Rape in America: A Report to the Nation, Arlington VA: National Victim Center.

5 Koss, K.P., 1998. “Hidden rape: Incident, Prevalence and Descriptive Characteristics of Sexual Aggression and Victimization in a National Sample of College Students.” Rape and Sexual Assault, vol. II. (ed.) A.W. Burgess. New York: Garland Publishing Co.

6 Kilpatrick, et al., 1992.

7 Warshaw, Robin. 1994. “I Never Called it Rape:” The Ms. Report on Recognizing, Fighting, and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape. New York: Harper Perennial.
8 Boeringer, S.B., 1996. “Influences of Fraternity Membership, Athletics, and Male Living Arrangements on Sexual Aggression.” Violence Against Women: 2, 134-147.

9 Schwartz, M.D., Leggett, M.S., 1999. “Bad Dates or Emotional Trauma? The Aftermath of Campus Sexual Assault.” Violence Against Women: 5, 251-271.

10 Smith, P.H., White, J.W., Holland, L.J. (2003). “A Longitudinal Perspective on Dating Violence Among Adolescent and College Age Women” American Journal of Public Health. Vol. 93, No.7, 1104-1109.

Adapted from a fact sheet compiled by CALCASA, 2004. http://www.theredflagcampaign.org/index.php/resources/sexual-and-dating-violence-on-campuses-research/

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