25
   

Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

 
 
BillRM
 
  -3  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 08:23 pm
@firefly,
Sorry if you would have had a relationship with a man maybe you would know that domination and rape does not have a one to one connection.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 08:30 pm
@BillRM,
Quote:
Interesting tie in dominate and rape as being one and the same in your eyes.
the domination that takes place is if all goes well a sort of erotic theater, it is not an act of subjugating or demeaning women. The soul needs to play, for healthy masculine man this is normal the acting out the taking of the woman, for the healthy feminine woman this is normally the act of being taken (ravished). The playing out of the scene encourages the health of both parties, which is soon discovered by those who experiment with doing so so long as they have picked up the good sense to ignore the feminists. It is these people who know from actual experience that the cultural message being transmitted in the majority culture is BS who will in time overthrow those who are selling lies to promote their agenda. In the meantime we ignore the majority culture, and do with our lives what we think is best.

We now have a lot of gender confusion, the feminists telling men who act normally that they are abusive and calling the women who act normally victims who have had their beings disturbed by abuse is a large part of the problem. The feminists have succeeded in disturbing both men and women's faith in themselves, their intuition that they are healthy and happy by perpetuation a lie about the masculine/feminine dynamic which is of course not reflective of the actual experience of individuals. This breeds self doubt, which never should have been pushed at people to begin with because there is in fact nothing wrong with these people. That so many both men and women have bought the feminist claptrap without in my view seriously evaluating the truthfulness of the message is disturbing. Science should be put on the question of what is the most productive masculine/feminine interaction post haste. A lot of us already know, because we know what makes us happy and fulfilled, but we need science to document, in order to end this attack against us.
hawkeye10
 
  -2  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 08:40 pm
@hawkeye10,
Not that I hold Feminists completely to blame for the problem, the Church had weakened sexuality long before the feminists came along and piled on:

Quote:
Christian marriage.

Hot sex.

Let’s try that again:

Christian marriage; hot sex.

It doesn’t quite go together does it?

Passionate, toe-curling sex isn’t normally associated with Christianity or even spirituality in general.

At least that’s what Jonathan Acuff, a Belief Blog contributor and author of "Stuff Christians Like," argues in a recent blog. He says Christians need to do a better job of connecting God with a vibrant sex life.

That’s what we’ve been told. That God and sex don’t go together. And if you say something enough times, people start to believe it’s true…. You can’t have both in the same bottle. They’re oil and water. Cats and dogs. Spencer and Heidi. They just don’t go together.

Acuff, who is married, says Christians shouldn’t just teach abstinence. They should also teach that while sex before marriage is bad, “sex when you’re married is awesome.”

He says Christians damage sex in four ways:

They teach guilt, not abstinence.

They have very few ways to discuss it.

They write 10 books about lust for every one book about the gift of sex.

They've "made the crayon box pretty small" (they're afraid of being creative during sex).

Acuff says it's time Christian couples realize passionate sex is God's idea.

We’ve bought the lie that the world gets to have wild, crazy sex and Christians, holy folks like us, have to have black-and-white, two-dimensional sex. But what if that’s wrong? What if the God who overflows us with love and hope and mercy wants that part of our lives to be as big and as colorful as two married people could possibly imagine?


http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/09/03/how-christians-spoil-sex/?hpt=C2

EDIT: perhaps I am biased, but in my view it is not the Catholics who are the problem, it is almost entirely the Protestants.
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 08:42 pm
@hawkeye10,
Hawkeye wrote:
Quote:
That so many both men and women have bought the feminist claptrap without in my view seriously evaluating the truthfulness of the message is disturbing. Science should be put on the question of what is the most productive masculine/feminine interaction post haste. A lot of us already know, because we know what makes us happy and fulfilled, but we need science to document, in order to end this attack against us.


So, now you want science to justify your sick ideas and behaviour?

Laughing
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  -3  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 08:42 pm
@hawkeye10,
Quote:
but we need science to document, in order to end this attack against us.


Come on Hawkeye do you dream that any amount of science is going to effect the women such as Firefly?

Hell we have all the evidence in the world for evolution and we still have nuts running around attacking it.
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 08:45 pm
@hawkeye10,
You seem to know as much about Christians and Christianity as you do about most everything else.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Or, in this case, until they write.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 08:47 pm
@BillRM,
Quote:
Come on Hawkeye do you dream that any amount of science is going to effect the women such as Firefly
No, because she has aptly demonstrated that truth and honesty mean nothing to her, there is only what will help her get what she wants and that which will not. However, science documenting reality will go far to encouraging people to ignore her, and those like her.
Intrepid
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 08:54 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:

Billy wrote:
Quote:
Come on Hawkeye do you dream that any amount of science is going to effect the women such as Firefly
No, because she has aptly demonstrated that truth and honesty mean nothing to her, there is only what will help her get what she wants and that which will not. However, science documenting reality will go far to encouraging people to ignore her, and those like her.


Can you point out where Firefly has not been truthful or honest?

What is it that you claim Firefly wants?

How will science encourage people to ignore Firefly?

Why do you have such a desire to be right when it does not seem to be your forte?
Intrepid
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 10:14 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:

Science should be put on the question of what is the most productive masculine/feminine interaction post haste. A lot of us already know, because we know what makes us happy and fulfilled, but we need science to document, in order to end this attack against us.


On another thread, Hawkeye wrote:

Quote:
When are people going to wise up and realize that science has very little clue what foods are good for us and which are bad for us? They change their minds constantly, which should tell you something.


Which is is Hawk? Is science good or is science bad? Does it depend on when it fits your desired purpose?
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 10:25 pm
Hawkeye is at it again with his claptrap about what constitutes good male/female sexual relations--or what he considers "hot sex". That he chooses repeatedly to interject his pompous posturing into a thread about rape simply demonstrates that he cannot distinguish between the normal and the pathological. In his mind, there is is no distinction--if it feels good, for him, it is ipso facto the desirable norm for everyone. "Sexual conquest" is good, because that's the best part of sex for him. "Ravishment"--a synonym for rape--is not only fine, he feels it is something that normal, healthy women desire.

Let Hawkeye take his rape denial elsewhere. This thread is not the place for him to peddle the types of attitudes that actually promote rape and create a climate where rape is acceptable.

Responding to him gives him the attention he craves and encourages him. He is best ignored. His maintain function in this thread has been to serve as an example of the attitudinal problems and distorted thinking which contribute to the continuing crime of rape. In that regard, he has already served that purpose, and he should not further be allowed to distract from the topic.



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Quote:
Male Responsibility For Rape And Rape Awareness

by Charlie Jones

Unfortunately, most men do not yet even recognize that there is a problem here, and fewer still acknowledge responsibility for any part of it. As a result, rape is seen, if at all, as a "women's issue". The impression remains that men are in no way connected to sexual assault, neither in its occurrence, nor through its effects, nor by its causes.

ONE IN THREE WOMEN AND ONE IN NINE MEN, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

It is important that we as men begin to see how this cultural reality by itself has great impact on our lives. We are connected to this world in which women (and men) are assaulted and we are connected to the women who are forced to adjust their behavior accordingly. These connections - through the effects of sexual violence against women should not be for us a 'women's issue". As women are affected whether or not they are actually raped, our lives as men are greatly changed whether or not we are actually the assailants.

WHERE DO ALL THESE RAPISTS COME FROM?

Men rape. This is Fact One, and no discussion of sexual assault should distract us from this reality. Historically, men have always denied and evaded Fact One. That is Fact Two, and no discussion of the causes of sexual assault should deflect us from this responsibility. Recognition of reality and acknowledgment of responsibility can come with great difficulty to most men. Evasions, denials, and defensiveness, however, miss the point and simply will no longer suffice

SEXUAL OBJECTS MAKE SEXUAL TARGETS

The story of sexual assault in our culture is not just about rape. Rapists are not born, they are made, And remade. And the culture which makes "them" also makes "us". The question of why (some) men rape is thus connected to the question of why sexual violence is tolerated. This connection exists at a double intersection: between attitudes and actions, between violence and notions of masculinity. We are all connected to these intersections because this is where we have grown up as men.

Men have the power collectively to end rape. Unfortunately, so far, this male collectively appears to be composed mainly of men who rape, men who hold attitudes similar to rapists, and men who undoubtedly do care in our own personal lives yet remain quiet in the community where rape takes place.

The raising of the Question is far more important than its phrasing. Consider ...

HOW WOULD OUR LIVES BE DIFFERENT IF THERE WERE NO SEXUAL VIOLENCE?

Men Can Help Stop Violence Against Women

WHAT IS SEXUAL ASSAULT?

· It is not an act of sex, it is a violent, brutal assault.

· It happens to our loved ones, our friends, our family. It happens to one in three women. It happens to men.

· It is sex without permission. It is an act of power and dominance.

· It is a result of men's anger. It is a man's way of avoiding his own sense of inadequacy.

· It is learned behavior.

WHAT CAN MEN DO ABOUT IT?

Speak out against sexual assault. Making it a public issue can influence attitudes. Rapists speak in a male voice and act in our name. If it's not OK, say so in your voice. Others will listen.

Examine your own attitudes.

Many men say they are against rape and yet believe it is OK to force sex under certain circumstances

Pay some attention to the language men use to refer to women or sex.

Why do so many of our descriptions depend upon objectification and violence? In any event, sexual objects quickly become sexual targets and, in this culture, sexual violence is one of the results.

Educate yourself about what sexual assault really means.

The Rape Crisis Center has a lot of material on the subject. You can also call and request a male advocate. We don't have the "answer". but it's worth raising some questions. The service is free, so take advantage and talk freely.

Talk with other men about sexual assault.

We learned the myths from each other growing up, maybe now we can share what it actually means.

Report abuse. Interrupt harassment.

Rape jokes are not funny.

Listen to women.

No sexual assault survivor is ever at fault, no one wants to be assaulted. The assailant had the choice not to victimize in the first place. He did it.

Give women a chance to express their feelings.

No one overreacts to an assault. The fear that women carry with them every day is well-founded.

Remember, we are the men in the lives of the women who are affected.

And, remember, there is no way to tell who's an assailant until it happens.

Many of us are men who do care and try to live personally in ways that are not threatening to the women we know. This is good and it is not enough. Men who resent having to bear any of the burden of what other men do should keep in mind that every woman would also like to be accepted as an individual human being.

Support our local Rape Crisis Center and other groups that work to empower women- It's in all our interests to end sexual violence and it will take the concern, caring, and commitment of all of us acting in our interest

Be glad that you are a man and have the power to help stop the violence that affects everybody.
http://www.silcom.com/~paladin/madv/stoprape.html


firefly
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Sep, 2010 11:36 pm
Quote:

Men Blame Rape Victims More Than Women
By Psych Central News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on June 25, 2009

Men have less sympathy for and tend to blame a victim of rape more often than women, according to new research. A separate study has also found that promiscuous men are more likely to rape than non-promiscuous men.

The first study focused on attitudes of blame toward rape victims in different scenarios, including drug-assisted rape.

“Rape is a heinous crime and the process of gaining a conviction can be almost as traumatic,” notes Michelle Davies, a researcher with the University of Central Lancashire and lead researcher of the study.

“Knowing certain victims in certain situations are blamed more than others gives those involved in treating victims a ‘head start’ in knowing what types of reactions victims might face.”

The research was conducted on 301 subjects (150 men and 151 women, average age 23) who were read a scenario in which victim gender, sexuality, and whether the victim was awake or asleep at the time of the assault were manipulated by the researchers.

The subjects were then asked to complete a questionnaire on blame.

The results showed that men had less sympathy for rape victims overall and tended to blame the victim more than women did. In particular men were blamed for not fighting back.

The men questioned in the study classed assaults on gay men as the least serious, especially if the victim was conscious.

The second, separate study was presented at the same conference by Sophia Shaw and colleagues from the University of Leicester.

In the second study, 101 men (aged between 18 and 70) completed questionnaires regarding their sexual history, personality and aggression. They were then asked to imagine themselves in different scenarios with one woman but varying her dress, how much alcohol she had consumed, how assertive she was and how many previous sexual partners she had.

Men who considered themselves sexually experienced were willing to coerce the woman to a later stage in the scenario than those with less sexual experience. These men also reported that they found resistance from a woman sexually arousing.

Alcohol, however, had the opposite effect than predicted, with participants more likely to coerce women who were sober rather than drunk.

“Previous research has suggested that women are more likely to be raped by someone they know, yet they fear rape by strangers more,” noted Shaw.

“This study was concerned with examining the factors that lead men to have a greater likelihood to commit rape in scenarios involving a woman who was an acquaintance.”

“We can see from the results that sexually experienced men are more likely to coerce women in sexual situations; even more so if they believe the women to be sexually experienced.”

The research was presented at the British Psychological Society’s Division of Forensic Psychology Annual Conference on Wednesday.

Source: British Psychological Society
http://psychcentral.com/news/2009/06/25/men-blame-rape-victims-more-than-women/6736.html
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  2  
Reply Sun 5 Sep, 2010 12:24 am
Quote:

Rape Culture 101

Posted by Melissa McEwan
Friday, October 09, 2009

A rape culture is a complex of beliefs that encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy and sexuality as violent. In a rape culture, women perceive a continuum of threatened violence that ranges from sexual remarks to sexual touching to rape itself. A rape culture condones physical and emotional terrorism against women as the norm.

In a rape culture both men and women assume that sexual violence is a fact of life, inevitable as death or taxes. This violence, however, is neither biologically nor divinely ordained. Much of what we accept as inevitable is in fact the expression of values and attitudes that can change.

Rape culture is encouraging male sexual aggression. Rape culture is regarding violence as sexy and sexuality as violent. Rape culture is treating rape as a compliment, as the unbridled passion stirred in a healthy man by a beautiful woman, making irresistible the urge to rip open her bodice or slam her against a wall, or a wrought-iron fence, or a car hood, or pull her by her hair, or shove her onto a bed, or any one of a million other images of fight-******* in movies and television shows and on the covers of romance novels that convey violent urges are inextricably linked with (straight) sexuality.

Rape culture is treating straight sexuality as the norm. Rape culture is lumping queer sexuality into nonconsensual sexual practices like pedophilia and bestiality. Rape culture is privileging heterosexuality because ubiquitous imagery of two adults of the same-sex engaging in egalitarian partnerships without gender-based dominance and submission undermines (erroneous) biological rationales for the rape culture's existence.

Rape culture is rape being used as a weapon, a tool of war and genocide and oppression. Rape culture is rape being used as a corrective to "cure" queer women. Rape culture is a militarized culture and "the natural product of all wars, everywhere, at all times, in all forms."

Rape culture is 1 in 33 men being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is encouraging men to use the language of rape to establish dominance over one another ("I'll make you my bitch"). Rape culture is making rape a ubiquitous part of male-exclusive bonding. Rape culture is ignoring the cavernous need for men's prison reform in part because the threat of being raped in prison is considered an acceptable deterrent to committing crime, and the threat only works if actual men are actually being raped.

Rape culture is 1 in 6 women being sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. Rape culture is not even talking about the reality that many women are sexually assaulted multiple times in their lives. Rape culture is the way in which the constant threat of sexual assault affects women's daily movements. Rape culture is telling girls and women to be careful about what you wear, how you wear it, how you carry yourself, where you walk, when you walk there, with whom you walk, whom you trust, what you do, where you do it, with whom you do it, what you drink, how much you drink, whether you make eye contact, if you're alone, if you're with a stranger, if you're in a group, if you're in a group of strangers, if it's dark, if the area is unfamiliar, if you're carrying something, how you carry it, what kind of shoes you're wearing in case you have to run, what kind of purse you carry, what jewelry you wear, what time it is, what street it is, what environment it is, how many people you sleep with, what kind of people you sleep with, who your friends are, to whom you give your number, who's around when the delivery guy comes, to get an apartment where you can see who's at the door before they can see you, to check before you open the door to the delivery guy, to own a dog or a dog-sound-making machine, to get a roommate, to take self-defense, to always be alert always pay attention always watch your back always be aware of your surroundings and never let your guard down for a moment lest you be sexually assaulted and if you are and didn't follow all the rules it's your fault.

Rape culture is victim-blaming. Rape culture is a judge blaming a child for her own rape. Rape culture is a minister blaming his child victims. Rape culture is accusing a child of enjoying being held hostage, raped, and tortured. Rape culture is spending enormous amounts of time finding any reason at all that a victim can be blamed for hir own rape.

Rape culture is judges banning the use of the word rape in the courtroom. Rape culture is the media using euphemisms for sexual assault. Rape culture is stories about rape being featured in the Odd News.

Rape culture is tasking victims with the burden of rape prevention. Rape culture is encouraging women to take self-defense as though that is the only solution required to preventing rape. Rape culture is admonishing women to "learn common sense" or "be more responsible" or "be aware of barroom risks" or "avoid these places" or "don't dress this way," and failing to admonish men to not rape.

Rape culture is "nothing" being the most frequent answer to a question about what people have been formally taught about rape.

Rape culture is boys under 10 years old knowing how to rape.

Rape culture is the idea that only certain people rape—and only certain people get raped. Rape culture is ignoring that the thing about rapists is that they rape people. They rape people who are strong and people who are weak, people who are smart and people who are dumb, people who fight back and people who submit just to get it over with, people who are sluts and people who are prudes, people who rich and people who are poor, people who are tall and people who are short, people who are fat and people who are thin, people who are blind and people who are sighted, people who are deaf and people who can hear, people of every race and shape and size and ability and circumstance.

Rape culture is the narrative that sex workers can't be raped. Rape culture is the assertion that wives can't be raped. Rape culture is the contention that only nice girls can be raped.

Rape culture is refusing to acknowledge that the only thing that the victim of every rapist shares in common is bad ******* luck. Rape culture is refusing to acknowledge that the only thing a person can do to avoid being raped is never be in the same room as a rapist. Rape culture is avoiding talking about what an absurdly unreasonable expectation that is, since rapists don't announce themselves or wear signs or glow purple.

Rape culture is people meant to protect you raping you instead—like parents, teachers, doctors, ministers, cops, soldiers, self-defense instructors.

Rape culture is a serial rapist being appointed to a federal panel that makes decisions regarding women's health.

Rape culture is a ruling that says women cannot withdraw consent once sex commences.

Rape culture is a collective understanding about classifications of rapists: The "normal" rapist (whose crime is most likely to be dismissed with a "boys will be boys" sort of jocular apologia) is the man who forces himself on attractive women, women his age in fine health and form, whose crime is disturbingly understandable to his male defenders. The "real sickos" are the men who go after children, old ladies, the disabled, accident victims languishing in comas—the sort of people who can't fight back, whose rape is difficult to imagine as titillating, unlike the rape of "pretty girls," so easily cast in a fight-**** fantasy of squealing and squirming and eventual relenting to the "flattery" of being raped.

Rape culture is the insistence on trying to distinguish between different kinds of rape via the use of terms like "gray rape" or "date rape."

Rape culture is pervasive narratives about rape that exist despite evidence to the contrary. Rape culture is pervasive imagery of stranger rape, even though women are three times more likely to be raped by someone they know than a stranger, and nine times more likely to be raped in their home, the home of someone they know, or anywhere else than being raped on the street, making what is commonly referred to as "date rape" by far the most prevalent type of rape. Rape culture is pervasive insistence that false reports are common, although they are less common (1.6%) than false reports of auto theft (2.6%). Rape culture is pervasive claims that women make rape accusations willy-nilly, when 61% of rapes remain unreported.

Rape culture is the pervasive narrative that there is a "typical" way to behave after being raped, instead of the acknowledgment that responses to rape are as varied as its victims, that, immediately following a rape, some women go into shock; some are lucid; some are angry; some are ashamed; some are stoic; some are erratic; some want to report it; some don't; some will act out; some will crawl inside themselves; some will have healthy sex lives; some never will again.

Rape culture is the pervasive narrative that a rape victim who reports hir rape is readily believed and well-supported, instead of acknowledging that reporting a rape is a huge personal investment, a difficult process that can be embarrassing, shameful, hurtful, frustrating, and too often unfulfilling. Rape culture is ignoring that there is very little incentive to report a rape; it's a terrible experience with a small likelihood of seeing justice served.

Rape culture is hospitals that won't do rape kits, disbelieving law enforcement, unmotivated prosecutors, hostile judges, victim-blaming juries, and paltry sentencing.

Rape culture is the fact that higher incidents of rape tend to correlate with lower conviction rates.

Rape culture is silence around rape in the national discourse, and in rape victims' homes. Rape culture is treating surviving rape as something of which to be ashamed. Rape culture is families torn apart because of rape allegations that are disbelieved or ignored or sunk to the bottom of a deep, dark sea in an iron vault of secrecy and silence.

Rape culture is the objectification of women, which is part of a dehumanizing process that renders consent irrelevant. Rape culture is treating women's bodies like public property. Rape culture is street harassment and groping on public transportation and equating raped women's bodies to a man walking around with valuables hanging out of his pockets. Rape culture is most men being so far removed from the threat of rape that invoking property theft is evidently the closest thing many of them can imagine to being forcibly subjected to a sexual assault.

Rape culture is treating 13-year-old girls like trophies for men regarded as great artists.

Rape culture is ignoring the way in which professional environments that treat sexual access to female subordinates as entitlements of successful men can be coercive and compromise enthusiastic consent.

Rape culture is a convicted rapist getting a standing ovation at Cannes, a cameo in a hit movie, and a career resurgence in which he can joke about how he hates seeing people get hurt.

Rape culture is when running dogfights is said to elicit more outrage than raping a woman would.

Rape culture is blurred lines between persistence and coercion. Rape culture is treating diminished capacity to consent as the natural path to sexual activity.

Rape culture is pretending that non-physical sexual assaults, like peeping tomming, is totally unrelated to brutal and physical sexual assaults, rather than viewing them on a continuum of sexual assault.

Rape culture is diminishing the gravity of any sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, or culture of actual or potential coercion in any way.

Rape culture is using the word "rape" to describe something that has been done to you other than a forced or coerced sex act. Rape culture is saying things like "That ATM raped me with a huge fee" or "The IRS raped me on my taxes."

Rape culture is rape being used as entertainment, in movies and television shows and books and in video games.

Rape culture is television shows and movies leaving rape out of situations where it would be a present and significant threat in real life.

Rape culture is Amazon offering to locate "rape" products for you.

Rape culture is rape jokes. Rape culture is rape jokes on t-shirts, rape jokes in college newspapers, rape jokes in soldiers' home videos, rape jokes on the radio, rape jokes on news broadcasts, rape jokes in magazines, rape jokes in viral videos, rape jokes in promotions for children's movies, rape jokes on Page Six (and again!), rape jokes on the funny pages, rape jokes on TV shows, rape jokes on the campaign trail, rape jokes on Halloween, rape jokes in online content by famous people, rape jokes in online content by non-famous people, rape jokes in headlines, rape jokes onstage at clubs, rape jokes in politics, rape jokes in one-woman shows, rape jokes in print campaigns, rape jokes in movies, rape jokes in cartoons, rape jokes in nightclubs, rape jokes on MTV, rape jokes on late-night chat shows, rape jokes in tattoos, rape jokes in stand-up comedy, rape jokes on websites, rape jokes at awards shows, rape jokes in online contests, rape jokes in movie trailers, rape jokes on the sides of buses, rape jokes on cultural institutions…

Rape culture is people objecting to the detritus of the rape culture being called oversensitive, rather than people who perpetuate the rape culture being regarded as not sensitive enough.

Rape culture is the myriad ways in which rape is tacitly and overtly abetted and encouraged having saturated every corner of our culture so thoroughly that people can't easily wrap their heads around what the rape culture actually is.

That's hardly everything. It's merely the tip of an unfathomable iceberg.
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/10/rape-culture-101.html
firefly
 
  2  
Reply Sun 5 Sep, 2010 12:35 am
Quote:

Features » August 13, 2008
Why Soldiers Rape
Culture of misogyny, illegal occupation, fuel sexual violence in military
By Helen Benedict

An alarming number of women soldiers are being sexually abused by their comrades-in-arms, both at war and at home. This fact has received a fair amount of attention lately from researchers and the press — and deservedly so.

But the attention always focuses on the women: where they were when assaulted, their relations with the assailant, the effects on their mental health and careers, whether they are being adequately helped, and so on. That discussion, as valuable as it is, misses a fundamental point. To understand military sexual assault, let alone know how to stop it, we must focus on the perpetrators. We need to ask: Why do soldiers rape?

Rape in civilian life is already unacceptably common. One in six women is raped or sexually assaulted in her lifetime, according to the National Institute of Justice, a number so high it should be considered an epidemic.

In the military, however, the situation is even worse. Rape is almost twice as frequent as it is among civilians, especially in wartime. Soldiers are taught to regard one another as family, so military rape resembles incest. And most of the soldiers who rape are older and of higher rank than their victims, so are taking advantage of their authority to attack the very people they are supposed to protect.

Department of Defense reports show that nearly 90 percent of rape victims in the Army are junior-ranking women, whose average age is 21, while most of the assailants are non-commissioned officers or junior men, whose average age is 28.

This sexual violence persists in spite of strict laws against rape in the military and a concerted Pentagon effort in 2005 to reform procedures for reporting the crime. Unfortunately, neither the press nor the many teams of psychologists and sociologists who study veterans ever seem to ask why.

The answer appears to lie in a confluence of military culture, the psychology of the assailants and the nature of war.

Two seminal studies have examined military culture and its attitudes toward women: one by Duke University Law Professor Madeline Morris in 1996, which was presented in the paper “By Force of Arms: Rape, War, and Military Culture” and published in Duke Law Journal; and the other by University of California professor and folklorist Carol Burke in 2004 and explained in her book, Camp All-American, Hanoi Jane and the High-And-Tight: Gender, Folklore and Changing Military Culture (Beacon Press). Both authors found that military culture is more misogynistic than even many critics of the military would suspect. Sometimes this misogyny stems from competition and sometimes from resentment, but it lies at the root of why soldiers rape.

One recent Iraq War veteran reflected this misogyny when he described his Marine Corp training for a collection of soldiers’ works called Warrior Writers, published by Iraq Veterans Against the War in 2008:

The [Drill Instructor’s] nightly homiletic speeches, full of an unabashed hatred of women, were part of the second phase of boot camp: the process of rebuilding recruits into Marines.

Morris and Burke both show that military language reveals this “unabashed hatred of women” all the time. Even with a force that is now 14 percent female, and with rules that prohibit drill instructors from using racial epithets and curses, those same instructors still routinely denigrate recruits by calling them “pussy,” “girl,” “bitch,” “lady” and “dyke.” The everyday speech of soldiers is still riddled with sexist insults.

Soldiers still openly peruse pornography that humiliates women. (Pornography is officially banned in the military, but is easily available to soldiers through the mail and from civilian sources, and there is a significant correlation between pornography circulation and rape rates, according to Duke’s Morris.) And military men still sing the misogynist rhymes that have been around for decades. For example, Burke’s book cites this Naval Academy chant:

Who can take a chainsaw
Cut the bitch in two
**** the bottom half
And give the upper half to you…


The message in all these insults is that women have no business trying to be soldiers. In 2007, Sgt. Sarah Scully of the Army’s 8th Military Police Brigade wrote to me in an e-mail from Kuwait, where she was serving: “In the Army, any sign that you are a woman means you are automatically ridiculed and treated as inferior.”

Army Spc. Mickiela Montoya, who was in Iraq for 11 months from 2005-2006, put it another way: “There are only three things the guys let you be if you’re a girl in the military: a bitch, a ho or a dyke. One guy told me he thinks the military sends women over to give the guys eye candy to keep them sane. He told me in Vietnam they had prostitutes, but they don’t have those in Iraq, so they have women soldiers instead.”

The view of women as sexual prey has always been present in military culture. Indeed, civilian women have been seen as sexual booty for conquering soldiers since the beginning of human history. So, it should come as no surprise that the sexual persecution of female soldiers has been going on in the armed forces for decades.

• A 2004 study of veterans from Vietnam and all wars since, conducted by psychotherapist Maureen Murdoch and published in the journal Military Medicine, found that 71 percent of the women said they were sexually assaulted or raped while serving.

• In 2003, a survey of female veterans from Vietnam through the first Gulf War by psychologist Anne Sadler and her colleagues, published in the American Journal of Industrial Medicine, found that 30 percent said they were raped in the military.

• And a 1995 study of female veterans of the Gulf and earlier wars, also conducted by Murdoch and published in Archives of Family Medicine, reported that 90 percent had been sexually harassed, which means anything from being pressured for sex to being relentlessly teased and stared at.

• A 2007 survey by the Department of Veterans Affairs found that homelessness among female veterans is rapidly increasing as women soldiers come back from Iraq and Afghanistan. Forty percent of these homeless female veterans say they were sexually abused while in the service.

Defense Department numbers are much lower. In Fiscal Year 2007, the Pentagon reported 2,085 sexual assaults among military women, which given that there are about 200,000 active-duty women in the armed forces, is a mere fraction of what the veterans studies indicate. The discrepancy can be explained by the fact that the Pentagon counts only those rapes that soldiers have officially reported.

Having the courage to report a rape is hard enough for civilians, where unsympathetic police, victim-blaming myths, and the fear of reprisal prevent some 60 percent of rapes from being brought to light, according to a 2005 Department of Justice study.

But within the military, reporting is much riskier. Platoons are enclosed, hierarchical societies, riddled with gossip, so any woman who reports a sexual assault has little chance of remaining anonymous. She will probably have to face her assailant day after day and put up with resentment and blame from other soldiers who see her as a snitch. She risks being persecuted by her assailant if he is her superior, and punished by any commanders who consider her a troublemaker. And because military culture demands that all soldiers keep their pain and distress to themselves, reporting an assault will make her look weak and cowardly.

For all these reasons, some 80 percent of military rapes are never reported, as the Pentagon itself acknowledges.

This widespread misogyny in the military actively encourages a rape culture. It sends the message to men that, no matter how they feel about women, they won’t fit in as soldiers unless they prove themselves a “brother” by demeaning and persecuting women at every opportunity. So even though most soldiers are not rapists, and most men do not hate women, in the military even the nicest guys succumb to the pressure to act as if they do.

Of the 40 or so female veterans I have interviewed over the past two years, all but two said they were constantly sexually harassed by their comrades while they were serving in Iraq or Afghanistan, and many told me that the men were worse in groups than they were individually. Air Force Sgt. Marti Ribeiro, for example, told me that she was relentlessly harassed for all eight years of her service, both in training and during her deployments in 2003 and 2006:

I ended up waging my own war against an enemy dressed in the same uniform as mine. I had a senior non-commissioned officer harass me on a regular basis. He would constantly quiz me about my sex life, show up at the barracks at odd hours of the night and ask personal questions that no supervisor has a right to ask. I had a colonel sexually harass me in ways I’m too embarrassed to explain. Once my sergeant sat with me at lunch in the chow hall, and he said, ‘I feel like I’m in a fish bowl, the way all the men’s eyes are boring into your back.’ I told him, ‘That’s what my life is like.’

Misogyny has always been at the root of sexual violence in the military, but two other factors contribute to it, as well: the type of man who chooses to enter the all-volunteer force and the nature of the Iraq War.

The economic reasons behind enlistment are well understood. The military is the primary path out of poverty and dead-end jobs for many of the poor in America. What is less discussed is that many soldiers enlist as teenagers to escape troubled or violent homes.

Two studies of Army and Marine recruits, one conducted in 1996 by psychologists L.N. Rosen and L. Martin, and the other in 2005 by Jessica Wolfe and her colleagues of the Boston Veterans Affairs Health Center, both of which were published in the journal Military Medicine, found that half the male enlistees had been physically abused in childhood, one-sixth had been sexually abused, and 11 percent had experienced both. This is significant because, as psychologists have long known, childhood abuse often turns men into abusers.

In the ’70s, when the women’s movement brought general awareness of rape to a peak, three men — criminologist Menachim Amir and psychologists Nicholas Groth and Gene Abel — conducted separate but groundbreaking studies of imprisoned rapists. They found that rapists are not motivated by out-of-control lust, as is widely thought, but by a mix of anger, sexual sadism and the need to dominate — urges that are usually formed in childhood. Therefore, the best way to understand a rapist is to think of him as a torturer who uses sex as a weapon to degrade and destroy his victims. This is just as true of a soldier rapist as it is of a civilian who rapes.

Nobody has yet proven that abusive men like this seek out the military — attracted by its violent culture — but several scholars suspect that this is so, including the aforementioned Morris and Rutgers University law professor Elizabeth L. Hillman, author of a forthcoming paper on sexual violence in the military. Hillman writes, “There is … the possibility that the demographics of the all-volunteer force draw more rape-prone men into uniform as compared to civil society.”

Worse, according to the Defense Department’s own reports, the military has been exacerbating the problem by granting an increasing number of “moral waivers” to its recruits since 9/11, which means enlisting men with records of domestic and sexual violence.

Furthermore, the military has an abysmal record when it comes to catching, prosecuting and punishing its rapists. The Pentagon’s 2007 Annual Report on Sexual Assault in the Military found that 47 percent of the reported sexual assaults in 2007 were dismissed as unworthy of investigation, and only about 8 percent of the cases went to court-martial, reflecting the difficulty female soldiers have in making themselves heard or believed when they report sexual assault within the military. The majority of assailants were given what the Pentagon calls “nonjudicial punishments, administrative actions and discharges.” By contrast, in civilian life, 40 percent of those accused of sex crimes are prosecuted.

Which brings us to the question: Do the reasons soldiers rape have anything to do with the nature of the wars we are waging today, particularly in Iraq?

Robert Jay Lifton, a professor of psychiatry who studies war crimes, theorizes that soldiers are particularly prone to commit atrocities in a war of brutal occupation, where the enemy is civilian resistance, the command sanctions torture, and the war is justified by distorted reasoning and obvious lies.

Thus, many American troops in Iraq have deliberately shot children, raped civilian women and teenagers, tortured prisoners of war, and abused their own comrades because they see no moral justification for the war, and are reduced to nothing but self-loathing, anger, fear and hatred.

Although these explanations for why soldiers rape are dispiriting, they do at least suggest that the military could institute the following reforms:

• Promote and honor more women soldiers. The more respect women are shown by the command, the less abuse they will get from their comrades.

• Teach officers and enlistees that rape is torture and a war crime.

• Expel men from the military who attack their female comrades.

• Ban the consumption of pornography.

• Prohibit the use of sexist language by drill instructors.

• Educate officers to insist that women be treated with respect.

• Train military counselors to help male and female soldiers not only with war trauma, but also with childhood abuse and sexual assault.

• Cease admitting soldiers with backgrounds of domestic or sexual violence.

And last — but far from least — end the war in Iraq.

[Editor’s note: This article is adapted from The Lonely Soldier: The Private War of Women Serving in Iraq, to be published by Beacon Press in April 2009.]
http://www.inthesetimes.com/article/3848/
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 5 Sep, 2010 02:31 am
@firefly,
Quote:
Let Hawkeye take his rape denial elsewhere. This thread is not the place for him to peddle the types of attitudes that actually promote rape and create a climate where rape is acceptable.


You still trying to control what people can post here?

It is bad enough when someone who I would bet a large sum of money on never had having a long-term sexual relationship with a man is claiming to be such an expert in this area of human relationships.

Kind of similar to having a Catholic priest who had been faithful to his vows giving sexual advice to his congregate.
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 5 Sep, 2010 02:44 am
@firefly,





























































http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3161


Reduce false rape claims by teaching young women what 'consent' means
January 7th, 2009 by Pierce Harlan, Esq.
News report after mind-numbing news report details cases where false rape claimants are sentenced to less jail time than their victims served after being falsely arrested. The gross inequity of these sentences is a chronic source of outrage for anyone who studies the false rape epidemic. It is beyond dispute that false rape claims would be far more effectively deterred if charges were brought against false accusers with the frequency that other wrongdoing is sanctioned, and if false claimants were sentenced in proportion to the havoc they cause in the lives of innocent men.

Some radical feminists, of course, don’t think society should bother deterring false rape claims at all. One sexual assault counselor, for example declared that “false rape allegations were often triggered by traumatic experiences and questioned the benefit of prosecution in such cases.” One wonders if this counselor, who cited no evidence to support her claim, would adopt the same lenient approach with respect to a young man who raped because of a “traumatic experience.”

But deterring false rape claims by stiffening criminal sentences is the subject of another post. The subject of this one is another overlooked, but altogether critical, method for deterring false claims that anyone concerned about protecting the rights of innocent men should insist on: girls and young women, especially those in their teens, need to be taught what “consent” means. Many simply don’t know. The radical feminists who dominate public discourse about rape likely would recoil at this suggestion, and it is no wonder, since they are the ones feeding young women misinformation about consent.

False rape claims thrive in a culture that teaches young women that they are being sexually tyrannized by men, and that even sexual encounters considered consensual, both under law and by social compact since the beginning of time, are tantamount to sexual assault. Among other things, as Glenn Sacks has explained, young women are being wrongly taught that sex induced by a male's verbal “cajoling” without physical threat is rape; they are being wrongly taught that sexual relations not accompanied by a woman’s oral affirmation is, or at least should be, classified as “rape” (some insist that the affirmation must be “enthusiastic” -- as if “enthusiasm” is capable of being objectively quantified); and they are being wrongly taught that sex after a woman takes any alcohol or drugs invariably negates valid consent.

None of this is correct.

Young women need to be taught that valid consent to intercourse can be manifested in a variety of ways -- by oral affirmations or by non-verbal conduct; that it need not be “enthusiastic”; and that it may be effective even though – horrors! -- the woman previously had said “no” (this falls under the legal principle that women are permitted to change their minds). A woman’s secret, undisclosed intentions are impertinent to the question of whether she manifested consent. All that matters are her outward manifestations of assent. Likewise, a woman’s after-the-fact regret has no bearing on whether consent was manifested at the time the sex act occurred. A young woman can validly consent after imbibing alcohol so long as she is capable of making a rational decision.

To reduce false rape claims, why shouldn’t we insist that young women be taught about consent? Feminists are the first to insist that innocent males who don’t rape need to be “part of the solution” about rape, and our universities routinely subject young men who don’t rape to sexual assault indoctrination. (Radical feminists, incidentally, heap accusations of “victim blaming” upon anyone who dares to suggest that innocent women also bear responsibility for avoiding rape; when it comes to innocent people, it seems only males have a responsibility to eradicate rape.)

Teaching young women about consent is all the more important in light of recent studies that show women experience greater after-the-fact regret about sex than men.

“Eighty per cent of men had overall positive feelings about the experience compared to 54 per cent of women. . . . . The predominant negative feeling reported by women was regret at having been 'used'. Women were also more likely to feel that they had let themselves down and were worried about the potential damage to their reputation if other people found out. Women found the experience less sexually satisfying and, contrary to popular belief, they did not seem to view taking part in casual sex as a prelude to long-term relationships."

(Source: “Women Have Not Adapted to Casual Sex, Research Shows,” Science Daily, June 26, 2008)

What does this have to do with false rape claims? One of the common motives cited by experts for false rape claims is "remorse after an impulsive sexual fling . . . ." Until Proven Innocent: Political Correctness and the

Instead of feeding young women misinformation that encourages them to invent rape claims, feminists should teach young women what consent means, and that after-the-fact regret about one-night stands -- although a common, indeed natural, feeling for women -- does not negate consent. This would encourage young women to be cautious before engaging in impulsive sexual flings, and to be judicious about crying rape after the fact.

[Pierce Harlan, Esq. is one of the bloggers at False Rape Society.]

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 at 4:09


Reduce false rape claims by teaching young women what 'consent' means
January 7th, 2009 by Pierce Harlan, Esq.
News report after mind-numbing news report details cases where false rape claimants are sentenced to less jail time than their victims served after being falsely arrested. The gross inequity of these sentences is a chronic source of outrage for anyone who studies the false rape epidemic. It is beyond dispute that false rape claims would be far more effectively deterred if charges were brought against false accusers with the frequency that other wrongdoing is sanctioned, and if false claimants were sentenced in proportion to the havoc they cause in the lives of innocent men.

Some radical feminists, of course, don’t think society should bother deterring false rape claims at all. One sexual assault counselor, for example declared that “false rape allegations were often triggered by traumatic experiences and questioned the benefit of prosecution in such cases.” One wonders if this counselor, who cited no evidence to support her claim, would adopt the same lenient approach with respect to a young man who raped because of a “traumatic experience.”

But deterring false rape claims by stiffening criminal sentences is the subject of another post. The subject of this one is another overlooked, but altogether critical, method for deterring false claims that anyone concerned about protecting the rights of innocent men should insist on: girls and young women, especially those in their teens, need to be taught what “consent” means. Many simply don’t know. The radical feminists who dominate public discourse about rape likely would recoil at this suggestion, and it is no wonder, since they are the ones feeding young women misinformation about consent.

False rape claims thrive in a culture that teaches young women that they are being sexually tyrannized by men, and that even sexual encounters considered consensual, both under law and by social compact since the beginning of time, are tantamount to sexual assault. Among other things, as Glenn Sacks has explained, young women are being wrongly taught that sex induced by a male's verbal “cajoling” without physical threat is rape; they are being wrongly taught that sexual relations not accompanied by a woman’s oral affirmation is, or at least should be, classified as “rape” (some insist that the affirmation must be “enthusiastic” -- as if “enthusiasm” is capable of being objectively quantified); and they are being wrongly taught that sex after a woman takes any alcohol or drugs invariably negates valid consent.

None of this is correct.

Young women need to be taught that valid consent to intercourse can be manifested in a variety of ways -- by oral affirmations or by non-verbal conduct; that it need not be “enthusiastic”; and that it may be effective even though – horrors! -- the woman previously had said “no” (this falls under the legal principle that women are permitted to change their minds). A woman’s secret, undisclosed intentions are impertinent to the question of whether she manifested consent. All that matters are her outward manifestations of assent. Likewise, a woman’s after-the-fact regret has no bearing on whether consent was manifested at the time the sex act occurred. A young woman can validly consent after imbibing alcohol so long as she is capable of making a rational decision.

To reduce false rape claims, why shouldn’t we insist that young women be taught about consent? Feminists are the first to insist that innocent males who don’t rape need to be “part of the solution” about rape, and our universities routinely subject young men who don’t rape to sexual assault indoctrination. (Radical feminists, incidentally, heap accusations of “victim blaming” upon anyone who dares to suggest that innocent women also bear responsibility for avoiding rape; when it comes to innocent people, it seems only males have a responsibility to eradicate rape.)

Teaching young women about consent is all the more important in light of recent studies that show women experience greater after-the-fact regret about sex than men.

“Eighty per cent of men had overall positive feelings about the experience compared to 54 per cent of women. . . . . The predominant negative feeling reported by women was regret at having been 'used'. Women were also more likely to feel that they had let themselves down and were worried about the potential damage to their reputation if other people found out. Women found the experience less sexually satisfying and, contrary to popular belief, they did not seem to view taking part in casual sex as a prelude to long-term relationships."

(Source: “Women Have Not Adapted to Casual Sex, Research Shows,” Science Daily, June 26, 2008)

What does this have to do with false rape claims? One of the common motives cited by experts for false rape claims is "remorse after an impulsive sexual fling . . . ." Until Proven Innocent: Political Correctness and the Shameful Injustices of the Duke Lacrosse Rape Case, S. Taylor, K.C. Johnson at 375 (2007).

Instead of feeding young women misinformation that encourages them to invent rape claims, feminists should teach young women what consent means, and that after-the-fact regret about one-night stands -- although a common, indeed natural, feeling for women -- does not negate consent. This would encourage young women to be cautious before engaging in impulsive sexual flings, and to be judicious about crying rape after the fact.

[Pierce Harlan, Esq. is one of the bloggers at False Rape Society.]

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 at 4:09
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 5 Sep, 2010 03:01 am
@firefly,
Now firefly is posting attacks on our young men in the military that willing placed their lives on the line and in a sadly large numbers of case loss them in order to protect us all.

No shame at all in her heart.
hawkeye10
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 5 Sep, 2010 03:13 am
@BillRM,
Quote:
You still trying to control what people can post here?
Do you notice how her claims that everyone can do what they want to do clearly become a bold faced lie? Everything she says points to a desire to go back to the well of manipulation, coercion and control in order to get what she wants. What the hell, it has worked for the feminists so far.

Quote:
It is bad enough when someone who I would bet a large sum of money on never had having a long-term sexual relationship with a man is claiming to be such an expert in this area of human relationships
I don't like to deal in personalities, but I wonder as well. We have not seen any inkling that she has any familiarity with how the erotic plays out between men and women. I dont know about gays but I suspect this play often goes on with them as well. Firefly seems asexual, like one who has experienced very little of what the rest of us have. What we get are tips on how to use to law to control peoples sexual lives and fifth grade level slogans lifted directly from the rape feminist propaganda material.....where is the erotic? Where is the mystery, the letting go, the passion, the driving your partner to new heights, the exploration, the testing of what we are made of and the figuring out of what makes our partners tick??

We get instead tripe like"rape is rape" and get continually told that sex is a problem and they we are shits. Why do we bother to listen to someone who shows no sign that they get sex and to boot acts all the world like they don't like humans very much? Why do we put up with someone who makes it very clear that they desire to control our sex lives because they think they know better than us how we should ****. It is so very ridiculous. And offensive.
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 5 Sep, 2010 03:19 am
@firefly,
By the way Firefly was this Prof Morris from Duke University you are quoting one of the group of 88 Duke professors who signed the public "listening statement" condemning the Duke students charges with rape?

Seem that they was so ashame of that statement that even those they never back down from it that I had as yet been able to find the signers list for that master piece of judging young men ahead of the facts.

I will keep trying to get that list of signers and check it again the name Morris.
0 Replies
 
Intrepid
 
  2  
Reply Sun 5 Sep, 2010 05:25 am
@Intrepid,
Intrepid wrote:

hawkeye10 wrote:

Billy wrote:
Quote:
Come on Hawkeye do you dream that any amount of science is going to effect the women such as Firefly
No, because she has aptly demonstrated that truth and honesty mean nothing to her, there is only what will help her get what she wants and that which will not. However, science documenting reality will go far to encouraging people to ignore her, and those like her.


Can you point out where Firefly has not been truthful or honest?

What is it that you claim Firefly wants?

How will science encourage people to ignore Firefly?

Why do you have such a desire to be right when it does not seem to be your forte?




What's the matter, Hawkeye? Not man enough to answer a few simple questions?
0 Replies
 
firefly
 
  2  
Reply Sun 5 Sep, 2010 09:45 am
@hawkeye10,
Quote:
Where is the mystery, the letting go, the passion, the driving your partner to new heights, the exploration, the testing of what we are made of and the figuring out of what makes our partners tick??


What the hell is the matter with you? This thread is about rape and rape victims.

There is no mystery, passion, or "driving your partner to new heights" in a rape--it is an unwanted sexual assault.

You, of course, are an authority on the subject of male/female relationships. An impotent, frustrated, angry man who whines incessantly about females robbing men of their power. A man who elicits nothing but negative reactions from virtually every female poster at A2K because of his obvious dislike of women. A man who cannot accept that sexual assault laws are as necessary as laws that protect property rights, or that protect from other types of assaults, because you see these laws, which you label "anti-sex", simply as infringements on your right to abuse children below the age of consent, or as obstacles to your need to achieve "sexual conquests". A man who has told us he prefers the company of all male groups because he can't even tolerate social conversation with women.

Your view of a male/female "erotic relationship" is more on the level of a masturbatory fantasy than anything connected to real life passion between two consenting adults. You don't want a willing, cooperative, lusty female partner--she'd scare the **** out of you. You need to dominate and control, as you've told us over and over again, because you need the thrill of "conquest", which would make you one lousy sexual partner in a long term relationship or a marriage.

If you are such an expert in how to satisfy your partner, why do you have to go outside your marriage to have fulfilling sex? Rolling Eyes What's the matter, Hawkeye, you can't drive your own wife "to new heights" of passion? You don't know how? Or is she just unwilling to put up with your needs for deviant forms of arousal?

You certainly don't impress the women at A2K, and the men here see right through your crap. You are an impotent, angry, woman-hater, who pathetically tries to blame all sorts of outside influences for his own feelings of inadequacy. Sorry if you feel like such a misfit, and a victim, but the world isn't going to change itself so you feel like you fit in. Grow up and stop throwing tantrums. It's time you learned the difference between misogyny and masculinity--if you are even capable of understanding the difference. Until you learn the difference, don't bother to offer anyone your advice on male/female relationships.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:

The New York Times
August 8, 2009
Op-Ed Columnist
Women at Risk
By BOB HERBERT

“I actually look good. I dress good, am clean-shaven, bathe, touch of cologne — yet 30 million women rejected me,” wrote George Sodini in a blog that he kept while preparing for this week’s shooting in a Pennsylvania gym in which he killed three women, wounded nine others and then killed himself.

We’ve seen this tragic ritual so often that it has the feel of a formula. A guy is filled with a seething rage toward women and has easy access to guns. The result: mass slaughter.

Back in the fall of 2006, a fiend invaded an Amish schoolhouse in rural Pennsylvania, separated the girls from the boys, and then shot 10 of the girls, killing five.

I wrote, at the time, that there would have been thunderous outrage if someone had separated potential victims by race or religion and then shot, say, only the blacks, or only the whites, or only the Jews. But if you shoot only the girls or only the women — not so much of an uproar.

According to police accounts, Sodini walked into a dance-aerobics class of about 30 women who were being led by a pregnant instructor. He turned out the lights and opened fire. The instructor was among the wounded.

We have become so accustomed to living in a society saturated with misogyny that the barbaric treatment of women and girls has come to be more or less expected.

We profess to being shocked at one or another of these outlandish crimes, but the shock wears off quickly in an environment in which the rape, murder and humiliation of females is not only a staple of the news, but an important cornerstone of the nation’s entertainment.

The mainstream culture is filled with the most gruesome forms of misogyny, and pornography is now a multibillion-dollar industry — much of it controlled by mainstream U.S. corporations.

One of the striking things about mass killings in the U.S. is how consistently we find that the killers were riddled with shame and sexual humiliation, which they inevitably blamed on women and girls. The answer to their feelings of inadequacy was to get their hands on a gun (or guns) and begin blowing people away.

What was unusual about Sodini was how explicit he was in his blog about his personal shame and his hatred of women. “Why do this?” he asked. “To young girls? Just read below.” In his gruesome, monthslong rant, he managed to say, among other things: “It seems many teenage girls have sex frequently. One 16 year old does it usually three times a day with her boyfriend. So, err, after a month of that, this little [expletive] has had more sex than ME in my LIFE, and I am 48. One more reason.”

I was reminded of the Virginia Tech gunman, Seung-Hui Cho, who killed 32 people in a rampage at the university in 2007. While Cho shot males as well as females, he was reported to have previously stalked female classmates and to have leaned under tables to take inappropriate photos of women. A former roommate said Cho once claimed to have seen “promiscuity” when he looked into the eyes of a woman on campus.

Soon after the Virginia Tech slayings, I interviewed Dr. James Gilligan, who spent many years studying violence as a prison psychiatrist in Massachusetts and as a professor at Harvard and N.Y.U. “What I’ve concluded from decades of working with murderers and rapists and every kind of violent criminal,” he said, “is that an underlying factor that is virtually always present to one degree or another is a feeling that one has to prove one’s manhood, and that the way to do that, to gain the respect that has been lost, is to commit a violent act.”

Life in the United States is mind-bogglingly violent. But we should take particular notice of the staggering amounts of violence brought down on the nation’s women and girls each and every day for no other reason than who they are. They are attacked because they are female.

A girl or woman somewhere in the U.S. is sexually assaulted every couple of minutes or so. The number of seriously battered wives and girlfriends is far beyond the ability of any agency to count.

There were so many sexual attacks against women in the armed forces that the Defense Department had to revise its entire approach to the problem.

We would become much more sane, much healthier, as a society if we could bring ourselves to acknowledge that misogyny is a serious and pervasive problem, and that the twisted way so many men feel about women, combined with the absurdly easy availability of guns, is a toxic mix of the most tragic proportions.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/08/opinion/08herbert.html




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