Nothing this time around, but some of my ex's have regretted their words when I was pissed and a few weeks back my son actually accuse me of PMSing when I was angry and it wasn't pretty. The way I see it is when I'm angry I have good reason to be and when someone accuses me of PMSing it's a total slap in my face. I don't know about the rest of you gals, but that's how I feel about it.
No, I get pretty POd when someone (man or woman) pulls that excuse out to explain away my anger.
Yup, I figure we're all on the same page with that one.
I don't think it has anything to do with expressing anger on a routine let it out basis. I think it has to do with prostaglandins, part of the pms metabolism as I seem to remember from articles. I had it for years (years, of course) and thought it was normal. Part of the fun was that when I was so irritable I was mostly right about the triggering situations.
Once I was on hormone therapy in my late forties, things evened out absolutely amazingly. We all know now various contraindicators for doing that, but it certainly worked re my symptoms.
On the other hand, my rage in my forties was really difficult to deal with. I worked in a room full of other professionals, and one person, who I must say was nuts herself and we are friends all these years later, drove me to leave the room lest I scream. This is not a joke. The exacerbators were there, she was actually out of control herself, and so on, but I couldn't control my rage but by going for walks.
I also raged, not often but a few times, at my husband, and while other marriages have that as a component, ours was built on courtesy, thoughtfulness, and probably denial of contention, and this threw the synchrony into various loops.
I won't say I was really wrong in my rage, nor entirely right, in fact my rage re the facts developed fairly late, but that it was expressed unusefully for me or him or us.
We got through that but it probably set the tolerance level in the marriage lower in the following years, on both sides.
PMS is a medical condition. Check out Jane Brody of the NY Times on it, and Oprah's site probably has something, and who knows who else, but don't let it go.
Ya know, sometimes you can show wisdom by what you say. Sometimes you can show great wisdom by keeping your mouth shut.
Byeeee!
Byeeee, Roger. Plus, you can come back here, feel free, I am over my rages. Usually.
Also, Roger, rage for me is verbal. I never was a pieplatethower. Or celery swashbuckler.
I do not have a problem with PMS - (I am stroppy ALL the time!) - but I once shared a house with two women who did - one of them was like her own evil twin 2 weeks out of 4, the other just miserable for a week every 3 - and looked terrible, poor darlin'.
One of them went off and had acupuncture - and the other followed. Voila! Fabulous results!
In fact, the monster one, if she missed an appointment or two, would be told by myself and the other woman that we would lock her out if she did not see her acupuncturist NOW!
So - who cares if it is placebo? Most drugs work on a huge placebo factor.....
Also - herbal stuff really helps lots of women - dong quai and such.
ossobuco wrote:I don't think it has anything to do with expressing anger on a routine let it out basis. I think it has to do with prostaglandins, part of the pms metabolism as I seem to remember from articles.
I loved your wonderful response on the Universal Health Care thread and so, upon reading yours (above), I searched and found something supportive regarding the ole' hormone deal and hope it is of interest and possibly help to Montana:
http://www.fwhc.org/health/moon.htm
BTW, if anyone ascribes a remark or a mood to me as stemming from PMS, they are likely to find themselves
extremely sorry for a good amount of time!
Now, what did I just get don saying about wisdom, Slappy?
I think PMS is a hormonal condition which causes general MOREness. So if there is already a situation where repression/ festering resentment is happening, PMS will be more likely to unleash that.
I lived in a co-op with 35 other people, about 20 of whom were women, all of whom were fertile, and most of whom after about 6 months of living together were on the same schedule. (This even with bc pills... not sure how it happened.) So that was an interesting laboratory.
(We actually scheduled house meetings around that... "uh, that might not be the best time...")
At any rate, my memory of that still-smallish but not insignificant sample is that the "nice" girls -- the ones who laughed and waved a hand during the rest of the month when provoked -- got the most shrill during PMS, while us stroppy folks -- the ones who flared nostrils, raised eyebrows, and said, "WHAT did you just say??" -- exhibited less of a Jekyll/ Hyde effect.
Osso
Thanks so much for sharing you experiences. I agree that PMS in a medical condition and needs to be treated like one.
Roger
LOL!
dlowan
Very interesting. I always wanted to try acupuncture, but the funds are just not there at the moment. I should try herbal stuff though. Thanks for your input. I will not stop until I find something that will help ;-)
Susette
Thanks so much for the link. That was the most informative link I've ever seen on the subject and I appreciate you sharing that with me. I always wondered if my IUD had anything to do with it and it mentions that in there, so it might not be a bad idea to have it removed. Hell, I don't need it anyway at the rate I'm going and I would love to go back to a 28 day cycle instead of this 21 day nonsense. Hmmmm.... Food for thought.
Slappy & Roger
LOL! Thanks for the laughs. I really do need that.
Soz
That's interesting for sure. More food for thought.
Montana, there are T-shirts that say, "I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun." I think every woman I know could identify with that statement.
There isn't much I can add to the excellent advice you've already received, except my support and encouragement to find some help, whether medical or herbal or both.
Suszette, that was one of the best articles on menstruation that I've ever read. Loved the history and myths associated with menses.
One other thing, Montana, it will,eventually, end. Going through menopause and not having to worry about having a period or getting pregnant is wonderfully freeing. Been there, done that. Wheeeee!!!!
Diane
Thanks so much (((Hug))) :-)
After much thinking I have decided to have the IUD removed which I know will make a big difference. The way it is now, I only get one good week, then PMS for another week, and then the period for the last week and I need that other week I'm missing. As soon as I get back from my trip to Mass, I'm going to see my doctor pronto and take care of this. I should have done something about this a long time ago.
My mother went through her menopause very young, so I'm hoping I'll be the same way so I can just get it over with.
Jeeez!!! What we women have to go through.
I have it marked on my calendar and avoid A2K when Montana gets her visitor.
CJ
I think that's your best bet. Just don't forget the 21 days. I'll let you know when it switches back to 28 days ;-)
This is the time for a funny joke, that you've probably heard from me a few times...
Did you hear they found beer has female hormones in it?
Yup. It makes you fat, act irrational, and lose your ability to drive a car.
