PhilForum check in

Any updates concerning the passing of that kidney stone? I'd sure like to use PMs in the near future

Yeah me too, do we have to wait for much longer Robert, anyone?

Please forgive me for even coming close to this subject, but I am in genuine need for this information.
Me being of the least to ask for this will not ask you "when" mine will be back and also accept fully if my "when" lasts a little longer than the others,
but find I really do need to ask about the "where",
if and whenever you do return them to me, what would be a possible estimation, (as you did previously assure me of the possibility) of me still getting my old PMs from the old forum returned to me that were lost in the move and buried somewhere?
I only ask because you did inform me previously that my old ones from the PhilForum were waiting somewhere and that in time they would still be returned to me,
and as things have now changed somewhat if this were still the case?
Basically checking to see if my old private messages are still going to be returned, not even asking about the return of my basic PM function but simply asking if it is still going to happen that I get my old ones back?
Please don't see this or me as being a stirrer or looking for trouble, I accept fully I presently have the least rights to ask for any benefit of yours, but I also know and hope I have made you fully aware just how important my old previous private messages are to me and as I have brought this up to you on at least 4 separate occasions, so I trust you remember and know I am asking for something that I am in some need of knowing.
I really would not be asking if I weren't secure you are fully aware this has in the past been an issue of great importance to me and really that this still is an issue of great importance for me.
Sorry if I have overstepped my bounds but I cant help that this is something I really NEED to know and be made aware of the possible or impossible situation and solution.
Even if the answer is a simple "no we cant or wont be getting them back for you" I would be grateful for your reply and resolution of this problem of MINE.
I certainly do not wish to make this your problem.
A bit pathetic I know, but I really do need to know to be able to move on from this.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Being polite is one thing, but your post made you look downright fearful that Robert would misinterpret you! Relax, sometime, Robert ain't gonna kill you!

Yeah relax sometime, Robert's a reasonable guy.

All I can say is patience sometime, Robert has probably a lot to do, it'll come eventually.

I get your meanings and finished the sentence for myself.
If I was not to a degree relaxed I would not allow myself to be here.
I tried to force myself to be here previously and it and I were a failure.
Presently if I do not want or like being here I have other things I can have rather.
If I can still find a NEED for me here in the future, this if is still like most future, undertermined.
It is not just for robert who may misinterpret me, but for a whole world of people who make misinterpretation of me a joy.
For real I am only really able to make sure for myself that if I come to read this in whatever future I exist, when I seek me I will find there truth.

Killing me on the other hand is totally subjective to how important and vital sometime sun is for my survival.

And what exactly it is I and You experience, think and believe sometime sun actually was, is, will, could and not ever be?
what is it he creates and destroys? exists and extinguishes? traps and frees? inspires and dispels? opens and closes? births and kills?
all for more than just the sake of one silly little mans dreams and delusions does this insignificant idealist torture and treasure him, receive and throw him away,
this idiot of man still believes and reaches out, all so that some small thing of expression called a sometime sun can live beyond the confines of a glass screen and wooden heart.
This thing, this expression, this man is working very hard just so once in his crappy life something might allow him to sacrifice for causes that survive and are still able thrive beyond what he could never had survived on his own,
to just on the slightest fraction of a chance you may one day make me a better and stronger being,
and all this will ever take is one small extension, one small gesture, one small action, one small decency.
I'll let you figure it out what you think the one thing that would make me able to love and respect you would be.
The one simple thing I can't even bring myself to simply ask you for because in this world, in your world, in my world, if I have to remind you to do it or that it needs to be existed between us means I really think I don't want it or need it from anyone.
sometime sun would probably still accept it, probably even beg you for it, but I can see now quite clearly how weak and feeble sometime is and how he has let to much **** slide and has left himself far to wide open for his own basic safety and survival.
Think about it by all means, but do do me one more single favour and I will never wish anything of you again, keep whatever you come up with to yourself unless you are sure you can do it.

Anyway that was kind of fun, I wonder if I have at all illustrated at all that it is not just the body that needs to die for something to be killed.
And that dreams, hopes, concepts, ideals, philosophies, trusts, optimisms, virtues, wishes, appreciations, innocence, loves and more can themselves indeed be killed.

I do wonder if the child needs to die for the man to live?
If youth needs to be executed to make way for adult?

And depending upon what you see as death, whether I believe I or sometime sun have been or could be killed is irrelevant when you consider there are fates worse than death.
And some people have been known to ask for execution rather than exile, that a banishment is a fate worse than death.
Especially if their love of their home and country so essential they cannot survive without their clansmen.

And one thing I will and can say here truly and now is that sometime sun will only ever live and die here.

And this goes aways to also say sometimes the only choice is to kill part of yourself,
just as it hopefully still leaves room to birth new yous as well.

All the best, this was sort of fun and not at all a waste of yours or mine time.

Well I for one am always glad to see you sometime, um not sure if that helps, (I'm tired and can't read long posts).

Well I for two so it seems, both me James and my psychosis sometime sun, the author and the fairy tale am always glad to see you Caroline.
(I'm tired also been up all night, I hope you can read this one, I feel safer knowing you are here)

I've been up all night too! Are you alright? I'm always glad your here, I'm glad you feel safer, you should feel safe here, has everyone been kind to you here or have you had a few run ins? (sorry but I would pm you about this stuff).

Nope quite honestly (and not trying to offend anyone because it was a shock) the level of basic restraint has been a surprise to me.
Personally if I had been led to believe that someone had been attacking my home I would have found it hard to not at least ask for their explanation.
So no one has assaulted which quite frankly because I do have an explanation of sorts for their possible poor perception of me I am a little disappointed I have not been called up.
I say a little disappointed, not so much so that I do not thank a blessing when it comes, even if in disguise.
Seriously really grateful I have not been set upon, which as I say I think I would and could forgive, as all I need to think is how I would have felt were if this were all true what they must be concerned about me for then I too would have found it very hard to let slide, if it had been real of me and my actions and had happened to PhilForum I would have been seriously doubtful and scared about letting back in a possible defiler of something I love.
In fact half the reason I did need to stay away was also out of a weird respect that I would or could still be a threat to my boarders.
In fact this is still unresolved in part, but the only possible way I can show I am of no harm is to continue for now, to show just how true I can be and just how needlessly worried they will one day accept.
But we will see, I don't yet expect anything from anyone here really,
even though I would be lying if I said I did not hope for things for us both.

I'm doing okay, still high from winning £84 on the lottery,
need to go out shortly as I have been chain smoking this evening and need filters and milk.

I think all I need to do is have no expectations and I should be fine from now on.

We will see, I have no rights so I can do no wrongs.

All my best

You're harmless sometime, I mean sometimes your posts spin me out a bit but I think you're appreciated here, I only asked you if you'd had any run ins because I thought something was up, my mistake, anyway I'm glad and pleased to see you're back, whatever you did and I'm not sure what, I'm sure you meant no malice and didn't think about what you were doing, the main thing is that you're back. Drinks on you then?

Hi Sun!

Gambling!!! Greed!!! Boasting!!! How un-YOU. ..........Proverbs.........!

Your spirit must be far from settled?

That which we do not control - controls us!

Have a fantastic weekend my good friend!
Mark...

It comes and goes, I cant deny I am still al little unsure and still honestly a little sad every time I have to read my own name. I really had accepted he was over and out, dead and ready for his Viking burial. I have no mirrors in my house so when I look at that name sometime sun I have to face part of myself I am still in a mood with.
It is not that I didn't think what I was doing it is more that I did not think I needed to think who I exchanged with and trusted would ever be able to hurt me in such a disposable way. Still hurts that who ever I exchanged with did not trust or see me truly enough, that someone would rather choose to see their worst in me rather than my best in them still stings.

Yes I got myself a carton of chocolate milk while I was out, if you all would care to take a glass and raise it
"Here's to never losing lotteries, better chances, worthwhile risks and only letting the house take what I can afford"

All the best for you you bobby dazzler.

Hey sometime,
Dont be so hard on yourself sun, I value you you, I trust you, that is avery important quality you have for a friend like yourself, be proud of who you are. I know, it hurts too, you have learned your first lesson in how to trust people, you will learn that as you get older and wiser to it, you'll learn how to know if you can trust someone, hopefully you'll get to the point that you'll instinctively know that there is something you dont trust in that person, that something doesnt feel right, trust in that feeling and learn and be cautious with those you know may not be trusted yet and ask why and you will answer, learn, learn to protect yourself from the damage and hurt they cause.Yes it stings and they are lesser people for not seeing you and treating you right, they have sad lives because they cannot see your worth, it hurts but remember you have learned a valuable lesson in people, take that as it's a gift, give it a polish and seek knowledge. Trust yourself and only trust others that you know for sure that they can be trusted, these are valuable people and will be valuable to you in that they can teach you things and you them, and enjoy, these people will not hurt you, these are genuine people those others are not and take, they do not give and enrich our lives because they are blind by their hidden agendas whatever that maybe. You are a nice human sun and your heart is in the right place, that's important, that's good and that is why I like you even though some of your posts spin me out.
Mmmm chocolate milk, nice choice! Cheers!
Thanks Sunny, happy days!

The eternal disappointment to everyone it would seem I am eternally. (I know self piteous with a touch of sarcasm, and I think sarcasm the occupation of the boring)

Sorry mark but I am only just starting to see what has been lost, stolen and thrown away.
You say I am not all here, of course I am not-he is not all here, there is a part of me that may never return.
I have lost a lot, to much, all in the space of 3 months I have lost more than is easy for me to keep up with and still taking it so bloody decently.
I feel I am forcing everything right now, so give me a break, I think I have earned a little escapism and narcissus for a few days.
I think they call it licking your wounds.

In case you cant tell I am most likely grieving,
and I have no idea of what exactly or how exactly to survive right now.
So I am trying anything.

Three days and I will have acclimatised.
Give me a chance to catch up.
I'm tired.
I've not slept in 28 hours.
And I still intend to keep buying my lottery ticket every week(smile)

Heart,
let me recollect mine.

Hi Sun!

Then go to sleep!

XXX
Mark...

Not until 9-10 else my whole week will be out of synch.
Three hours to go.

Heart,
wanna swap?

Yeah take time out sun, catch up with yourself and all that has happened, you have to internalize it, it's part of the process.

Dear administration;
Is there any progress on the reinitialising of the "groups" from back in PhilForum?
Especially the "Thus Spoke Zarathustra" group?
That was the best one, please start with that.

Thanks, all the best,