I suppose some of you might think it a bit strange that Craven would compose a song in my honor. Let me explain.
I had finished my chores last night and walked behind the shed to put my pitchfork away. I come around the corner and, what the hell.... there's Craven standing there, a scowl on his face and murder in his eyes. I had never met Craven before but I knew it was him because someone in the past had told me he looked a little like Bruce Lee. The resemblance was, indeed, remarkable.
"What can I do for you, Craven?" I asked, still a bit perplexed why he would be paying me a visit.
"Listen, Gus, you old fool" he said, "what the hell do you think you're doing coming over to my site and posting all your ridiculous garbage? I'm trying to run a nice, clean site, where people can ask questions and get answers and you come along and spoil the whole damn thing with your nonsense over seeing ghosts of chickens in your friggin' cigarette smoke! I'm here to kill you, Gus. I can't take your garbage anymore."
With that.... he attacked. I've been in a few fights in my day, and I've got a reputation for being a pretty mean son of a bitch, but I'm tellin' you, this Craven was a scrapper. I had always envisioned him as a wimpy little bookworm, but that ol' boy knew how to fight. We went toe to toe. The fight lasted well over three hours, neither of us gaining ground on the other. The blood was flying and soon our labored breathing filled the air. Finally, Craven threw his hands in the air and said, "Enough, Gus, I didn't expect this kind of fight from you. Let's shake on it and, hell, maybe I'll even compose a song. We shook hands and he left.
I'll never forget that battle.
It was epic.
