My boss said I embarrassed her in front of customers (and is pissed as hell)...wtf!

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On Tuesday, they called me and said not to come in bc they've overscheduled and it wasn't busy. It turned out they also called lots of other ppl and told them not to come in. Labor was just too high. However, I was paranoid and thought it was bc I made her mad on Monday. I went in and tried to apologize to her. What sounded to me like, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you mad" sounded to everyone else like, "I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU MAD!" I was too loud and sounded like I panicked or something. Customers assumed she was abusing me and called to complain about her. She got into trouble with corporate, had to bail herself out, and refused to schedule me until I could prove I could behave myself. She said I could call back next week and check to see if I have any hours back.

Thing is, is that even necessary? I know I got her into trouble, but I didn't make the customers call to complain about her. Besides, I wasn't even aware I was loud bc I just got a natually loud voice. That gives them even less reason to hold it against me. So why did they? What about the fact that I been at this job for a year and generally did good up till that point? She even accused me yesterday of screaming at her on Tuesday just cuz I was loud. They didn't even let me work the rest of this week. She didn't accept my apology for "embarrasing" her bc it was just too serious. I made her and the business look THAT bad.

Quite honestly, I didn't even know what was going on till yesterday when she told me. I just wanna know, was it really that bad? Did I really deserve this consequence? oh and btw, it turned out I didn't have anything to apologize for on Monday.

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 7,493 • Replies: 55

Tough call from here. I wasn't there to witness the entire event.

But I do know -
First rule: NEVER embarass the boss, especially in front of customers.
Second rule: keep your voice low when speaking to any staff member.

Be very quiet and let the chips fall where they may.

The main thing is to keep your job.

1 Reply

@sullyfish6,

And next time you want to talk with her - maybe pulling her aside away from the customers is a better tactic. That way no one can misinterpret your tone or what you are saying.

I think because customers complained (even if your intention was not anything bad), you made a boo-boo. Not sure if the punishment is what is warranted as too many unknown factors for me to determine.

Best to adjust your behavior as you really cannot adjust some one elses.

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@dirrtydozen22,

By any chance, do you work at Wal-Mart?

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@dirrtydozen22,

welcome back DD, kind of hoped it would be a better return

how have things been going job wise up until now

hope things work out, not sure what to offer, you might just have to ride this out, or offer a written apology (maybe suggest she can call you at her convenience) try to avoid the face to face problems that sometimes arise

good luck

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According to the posts you've generated over the last year on A2K, this situation is a part of a trend of emotional outbursts that you've had.

For those who have not read her past threads, I'll describe what she wrote as best as I can. Specifically, you've described an outburst at the McDonald workplace (is this the same McDonald?) where you worked last August (see thread: http://able2know.org/topic/134926-1#post-372737)

The gist of it is as you described, you yelled at someone in front of customers and employees, tossed some sort or rack, got called on the carpet and were warned by management. You were docked hours then and were close to being fired, etc.

It is clear from your own words that you've anger management issues. What are you doing about solving the crux of the problem ?- Your own anger and your choice of how you talk in front of customers and fellow employees? And not not mention, talking loudly and getting bosses in trouble where their bosses call them on the carpet. There's a lot more to this and it seems from your own words to center on how you manage your meotions.

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Those who are interested, also see the following thread:
http://able2know.org/topic/134162-3#post-3701700

You seem to keep describing these same emotional reaction issues and do not understand (or are in denial) about the size and the effect your anger problem has on others and your ability to work around other employees and the public-at-large.

The phrase 'naturally loud voice' is a cover-up. Others see and react to your loud voice as yelling and view you as an angry or troubled person. You need to learn to modify that or else your work environment will be limited.

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@Ragman,

Review all the info on this site. It is about anger management and is free:

http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx#

If you want to demonstrate to your boss how serious you are about learning to control your outbursts, you could take any one of these other paid online anger management courses for less than $100. At the end, you'll get a certificate that you can ask to be put in your personnel file.

http://www.angermanagementseminar.com/

http://www.angermanagementonline.com/

http://www.angerclassonline.com/

If you choose to just do the free one, you might write an essay for your boss about what tips you learned from it and how you'll put them into practice at the job.

As an aside, have you ever had your hearing tested? Many times people who naturally speak loudly do so because they also have a partial loss of hearing and think that others can't hear them unless they talk louder because they can't hear well when others speak to them.

1 Reply

@Butrflynet,

why is this addressed to me?

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@Ragman,

Ragman wrote:

why is this addressed to me?

She's just following up on your point, RM. Her post is for the thread's originator.

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@Ticomaya,

oh..yes. I thought it would make more sense to address DD, but what do I know?

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@Ragman,

I am with ragman, the particulars of this latest problem dont warrant the time it would take to read the opening post. This is a part of a continuum of work relationship problems, it is the underlying cause that needs to be dealt with, and they belong to the original poster.

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@dirrtydozen22,

Sounds like they are phasing you out intill you quit so they don't have to pay you unemployment. We do it all the time.

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I had a coworker who was cut down to zero hours for attitude problem. A coupla weeks later, she had one day and she earned it all back thereafter. Until I could prove I could behave myself, I won't be scheduled. I was told to call and check back next week. And no, I wasn't angry when I apologized. I was just loud and unaware of it.

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@dirrtydozen22,

This will sound odd as a question, but is your whole family loud?

I do think this is part of your problems and can't guess how much loud talking is in your background or particular to you. In some places I've worked, loud talking would be out-the-door in a short minute, whether or not it was directed at the boss.

I think your talking to the boss in the way you did - even without anger - in front of a customer is an obvious no no, and that you probably don't 'get' these kind of social signals.

You could probably use help with some social clues about these situations, but I don't have any web links right now. Maybe some other a2kers do.

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@ossobuco,

Page 4 of the first link I gave has exactly those types of suggestions. Hope she'll do herself a favor and read it.

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@ossobuco,

I'm the only one I know who is loud whenever I talk. Whenever I order something at a restaurant, the whole place could hear what i'm ordering. Most of the time, I'm not even aware of being loud until someone tells me. And yeah, I guess I agree. I'm prolly lucky not to be canned.

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@dirrtydozen22,

1. have you had your hearing tested?

2. did you read through the links btrflynet provided for you?

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@ehBeth,

yes and I totally agree. Really I haven't been a bad employee overall. I earned my first raise in October and corporate received calls from customers complimenting my service. I was given shitload of hours from last summer till now. I just don't usually come on this site when all is going well. Then all I did was apologize to her and she starts hating on me. I mean, Wal-Mart had a legitimate reason to can me. Anyone should get canned for workplace violence. But to be punished for apologizing? wtf! Can't she take into account that I wasn't being loud and presenting myself as a victim on purpose? I wasn't even aware I was doing that. And I didn't make the customers call and complain about her. They misperceived the situation and called on their own accord. Man, her being nice for the whole year and then hating on me...that's phoniness at its worst!

I already apologized to her for embarrassing her. I even apologized to her on facebook and she deleted me! I, for one, usually forgive anyone who sincerely apologizes to me. At least she didn't completely can me. I'll have my hours back by doing my part and prove I could behave myself by not going in there and causing a scene like on Tuesday. My coworker got hers back.

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It's amazing what people will accept in themselves and others as far as "not being a bad employee overall"

I guess if you set your standards low enough, just about anything goes.

I'd hate to see your idea of what a bad employee is.

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My boss said I embarrassed her in front of customers (and is pissed as hell)...wtf!

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