@ossobuco,
Hah, I'll tell about a time when I was bad. It's probably ok by now. I was ashamed at the time.
I worked in a clinical lab in Beverly Hills - I'd hired on there to learn more about hematology, or so I thought. My education was tip top and my clincal lab training was lame, and then I went to work setting up a clinical lab and running it at a university. I was working a million hours not doing what I wanted, and this BH lab was my plotzing place, I had punted to there. What a mistakeroo, but not all bad as I liked all the people.. Still, there was a strangeness.
Anyway, much as I could run a special lab, I wasn't all that swift at injecting the rats or asking guys for ejaculate samples, and even not all that cocky about drawing blood from iffy patients, some of whom were famous. Gahhhh, but I did all those, many times. I got to not mind dealing with patients I had a clue about.
But..
One sunny day I was the lab tech on call and a couple came in for matrimonial screening, which is to say, vdrls. I blanched. No, no, I can't, I can't. And I didn't, I got out of it. The general lab tech queen there said, "Osso, that's not lab". I didn't give a ****, I didn't want to do it. The whining baby refused.
It was Jim Morrison and his girlfriend. The Gen tech dispatched them shortly. So, I have that as a blemish re my own fortitude, I was chickenshit.
That all sounds very dramatic, known famous types, but people who go into a fast food restaurant can be complexly interesting. Study them. Get over yourself, look beyond your own face and your own problems.
Start to learn more about people and while you're doing it, you'll learn more about yourself.
That long ago laboratory scenario helped me get a grip. Maybe shame helped me. I got stronger, though not all at once.