44
   

Divorce and stay friends..

 
 
shewolfnm
 
  3  
Mon 26 Mar, 2012 09:43 pm
tomorrow is court.


im going to take every action I can to stop visitations.... things need to be limited.

and I know it is all for good reason, safety and in the best interest of little woman. But im still human, and it still feels shitty..
Rockhead
 
  1  
Mon 26 Mar, 2012 09:50 pm
@shewolfnm,
somebody has to be an adult.

might as well be you...

good luck wolfie.
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Mon 26 Mar, 2012 09:53 pm
@shewolfnm,
As Noddy would say, hold your dominion, Wolfie.

Give 'em hell.
msolga
 
  1  
Tue 27 Mar, 2012 12:26 am
@shewolfnm,
Wishing you the best of luck in court, shewolf.
I really hope it goes well for you.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Wed 28 Mar, 2012 09:17 pm
@shewolfnm,
What happened in court yesterday?
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Mon 2 Apr, 2012 11:45 am
@Butrflynet,
Butrflynet wrote:

As Noddy would say, hold your dominion, Wolfie.
Diane
 
  3  
Mon 2 Apr, 2012 01:16 pm
@ehBeth,
Love and best wishes to you, shewolf.
0 Replies
 
Aldistar
 
  1  
Tue 3 Apr, 2012 03:26 pm
Best of luck to you and Bean!
0 Replies
 
Marie Colvin
 
  0  
Wed 4 Apr, 2012 07:07 am
@shewolfnm,
Hello,

I would like to say, divorce can be messy and complex, especially when there are issues of custody and ownership involved. While it might seem impossible at times, staying friends during and after a divorce can help make your transition smoother and your life happier--even post-divorce.

Best regards,
Marie Colvin
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  2  
Fri 18 May, 2012 08:13 am
Well, I can sum this thread up with simple statements that may be open ended, confusing and or incomplete... but thats how it works I guess when everything you do, say and think are pushed under a microscope unnecessarily.

When you are in the middle of a divorce, yes people get nasty and want to lash out at you. I have spent the better part of 2 years not feeling like that was necessary on my side and as you can read through this thread, feeling like things would move forward freely and easily though fully expecting a few road bumps. Things have not ended in a road bump, it ended face first in a spiked wall.

There is nothing in the world like watching your ex create and fuel lies about you that are so extreme, they are blindsiding. I know that jealousy can make people do things they would never imagine, but to do so in a way that creates extreme damage to their child is just.... mind numbing.

Im used to being the one who was belittled, berated and ignored. Thats the reason the relationship broke up in the first place. I took it as just 'his' thought process and shrugged off the possibility that the belittlement was truly his opinion of me.. and now I have learned otherwise.

I still sit here just shocked at the blind stupidity and anger that has been shown, but I can only point at everyone else for so long before I realize that I knew this was a possibility a long time ago and that my fault was to assume otherwise. I spent years being manipulated and told that I was less than and below everyone else... I have no right to act or feel as surprised as I do but there is a part of me that can not help that.

Sometimes human behavior is absolutely amazing in its ridiculousness...
Eva
 
  3  
Fri 18 May, 2012 08:58 am
@shewolfnm,
Once again, I'm sorry you've had to go through all this, my friend.

For all those of us who have been through a divorce ourselves and rolled our eyes at this thread title when you first opened it... We hoped with all our hearts we would be wrong, but we are not at all surprised. The person you divorce is not the same person you married. Or thought you married. We've seen it happen too many times. The fact is, if you could have stayed friends, you could probably have stayed married. Once you split, its every man for himself. Then you see someone's true colors.

We're all disappointed for you, but we're proud you've made it through. As Noddy would have said, you've held your dominion. Way to go.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  2  
Sat 19 May, 2012 08:40 am
Yeah, I know everyone was warning me about that. I guess since MY desire was not at all geared to being petty, that in fact I was happy things COULD go well... I had my blinders on.

But as for every other thing in life, it takes the direct experience before the knowledge actually sinks in.

This ordeal is no where near done, but all of the evil things that could be done have been so now it is just riding out the tidal wave he has created. It is amazing and disgusting what someone will do in order to avoid child support. I still stand in a bit of shock.

but.. oh well. Life goes on.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Sat 19 May, 2012 09:13 am
@shewolfnm,
As I said already two years ago on this thread: the person you married is not the same person you divorce. I've seen that over and over again how vicious people get in divorce proceedings, especially when kids are involved.

Friends of mine are fighting the "War of Roses" for over 3 years now, they lost their business over it and the only ones that benefit from this are the lawyers on both sides and the ones who really suffer from it, are their 2 kids. So sad!
Thomas
 
  1  
Sat 19 May, 2012 09:16 am
@shewolfnm,
. . . but what's a few little setbacks as long as you both stay friends. Am I right?
chai2
 
  2  
Sat 19 May, 2012 03:51 pm
@Thomas,
Friendship is not an option anymore Thomas.

I'll say no more, as it's not not my place.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Sat 19 May, 2012 04:10 pm
@chai2,
I don't know anything re how stuff has worked out for wolfie, and would like to know, while it is not my business. We can talk when she visits her mom next time, or not, her choice. I'd be glad to see her anyway.
0 Replies
 
Thomas
 
  2  
Sat 19 May, 2012 05:16 pm
@chai2,
I know. That was irony.
0 Replies
 
Rockhead
 
  2  
Sat 19 May, 2012 05:18 pm
@shewolfnm,
never underestimate how low a human being can sink...

((wolfie))
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Sat 19 May, 2012 08:00 pm
All i can do is heave a big sigh... smile and nod.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Sun 20 May, 2012 07:33 am
When I visit, you can be sure that I will let you know all that has happened. The whole point for planning the visit is so my family can have a little vacation, little bean can hang out with my mom some more and those to can get to know each other better and we can all have a time away from this and find out re-set buttons.

Though.. for right now we are beginning to feel a little bit of peace and the blind fear is dissipating. All we can do now is just hope things stay calm.
0 Replies
 
 

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