What do YOU do when you can't bear your job any more?

Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 09:08 am
@Green Witch,
I HAVE done my tax!!!

Yes, I have thought of moving.

What is crippling me financially at present is more the strata fees...which have doubled...than the mortgage.

The ridiculous strata fee level is supposed to be only for a couple of years..as we amass money to fix the roof, and prepare for major lift work.

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Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 09:10 am
Yep...you have the ultimate non-walkout job!

And...the little buggers never leave home any more!

Though perhaps they do in the US, since you have that culture of moving across the country to go to university.

Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 09:14 am
Amusing little grouping of threads on the right at present:

[+9] What do YOU do when you can't bear your job any more?
Discussion by dlowan
[+8] How Much Stress Can She Take?
Question by sullyfish6
[+8] Breathe
Discussion by kickycan
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 09:16 am
Yeah, who knows where she'll end up. As of right now she wants to convert our garage and live there while going to OSU. We say yeah right honey, we'll see what you think when you're 18.

Karmic note, I love being a mom and I love being around both my husband and my daughter. When I want a break it's more about being the nerve center of the whole enterprise, so much I have to keep in my head and so much emotional care-taking. Want to be able to just shut down and not think for a while (and have that not create Huge Problems for everyone around me).

Good points from DrewDad re: people. I think the best tonic for me was going out for lunch with sympathetic colleagues and having a long kvetch, vent and silliness session.
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Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 09:16 am
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Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 09:31 am
dlowan wrote:
Do you think it's your field that's the problem or just your present place of employment?

Neither, really.

I mean, my field is very stressful and wearing, but also has great rewards.

My present position is fine.

I just don't want to play any more!

I'll get over it, I know it's normal...I don't need job change/career advice.....
if anyone has little tricks to get through the blahs that'd be nice, though.

Or just make me laugh!
The task at hand is to raise your morale.
Lay cliche aside, that it not interfere.

Count your blessings; savor them in your mind.
Think of the happiest moment in your life for a few moments.
(For me, it was the death of communism on Christmas Eve of 1991,
when I was flying home from Las Vegas and the USSR went defunct n extinct. Choose whatever jingles your chimes.)
Think of other intensely happy moments. Make a list (computer file?) of them for reference.

Was it ever significant to u that u made someone else happy?
If so, think of that.
Any further instances thereof? Did u feel empathic joy? Mentally re-live it.

Think of your earlier successes & achievements in life.
Since age O, what have u done that was really clever?
What was the most HUMOROUS moment in your life?
In the privacy of your own mind: what r u most proud of having done?

Think of your most prized possessions.

Think of how happy u were when u first GOT your job.
Think of how happy u were when u got your raises or other tangible professional recognition.
Think of your very finest professional successes and their results.
To the extent that is possible, organize the sequence of your work
so that u do the most urgent work first, so that if u run out of time later,
u 'll have that done. Decide what is next in importance.
See if u can develop a momentum in your work; build success upon success,
so that u r on a roll.

Ask yourself whether u can u creatively re-organize your work
so as to make more fun or less burdensome.

Think of doing something fun in the near future, after your work is finished.

Think of taking pride in your professional work.
Whatever 's worth doing is worth doing well,
'cause it might be IMPORTANT; u never can tell.
So no matter how little it seems at the start,
if u DO it, then do it with ALL of your heart.
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 10:48 am
In my second and last multi decade career, the worst times were back towards the beginning, when I was a project manager but had no power re contracts with developers and was thus in position to get the work out faster than humanly possible, now, now, now. That resolved itself with my avoiding most development work for other reasons (growing displeasure with housing development practices), thus having more enjoyable projects as far as design went, usually shorter term ones, with less crazy deadlines.. and more power, especially when I started my own small office. In later years, the cycle of new design to work out, details and specs to work out, new design (etc etc) usually kept me interested. So, it wasn't the career field that was the problem, it was what aspects of it I was involved in. I can't see this helping you, dlowan, though, except that I wish your facility had better funding, more people to do the work, and similar things you've expressed before - without which one can feel trapped in a job one actually likes and feels right in many ways.

I think all I can suggest is to take breathers without guilt... even though breathers mean work is usually tougher before and after 'said breather'.
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 12:42 pm
I don't know, but hopefully some one can guide us - I'm about to lose it right now myself.
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 12:49 pm
The best short term solution is your classic bitch-session; get to together with a few like-mined cohorts and rip.

For me, one of the ways (outside of the above) is to remember what it was like at times during some of my prior employment conditions, then by comparison I know things are much better.
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 01:00 pm
I have those often - it is very therapeutic.
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Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 01:18 pm
Some one shoot me now and put me outta my misery!
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Robert Gentel
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 01:52 pm
What do YOU do when you can't bear your job any more?

I started working 10 hours an evening after the 8 hours a day I worked for years till I had revenue streams that allowed me to quit the day job if I needed to. I planned the revenue streams around freedom and mobility and started cutting down on my commercialism (which I realized was making me dependent on my jobs) and moved to Costa Rica where I could live on next to nothing if I really needed to. Then one day I was ready. Someone called me at lunch time and asked if I wanted to quit my job to play poker professionally. I did so I didn't come back from lunch (I consult with the company to this day, so it's not like I left them hanging).
Green Witch
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 02:40 pm
Every unhappy worker should read "Your Money or Your Life" by Vicki Robins. Some of the long term financial advice is questionable, but the philosophy gets you thinking about what is personally important and how do you really want to spend your time on this planet. Our consumerism often dictates our income needs, which in turn dictates our salary needs, which determines if we can switch jobs easily. It's ideal if you can find a well paying job you enjoy, but most people don't seem that lucky. The strategy is to become flexible salary wise by not getting into debt, pinned down by too many desires or trapped by financial commitments. It might mean selling a house, a second car or having the kids start at a community college. Money is either a way to freedom or a ball and chain. There's always someone who is happily living on less money than you.

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Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 03:05 pm
One word......embezzle.

If the risk of getting caught and going to prison doesn't keep you on your toes and focus constant attention to detail, nothing will.

Just think of it as a continuous roller coaster ride.
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 03:23 pm
Er...there's nothing TO embezzle!!!
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Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 03:25 pm
Wishing you a good Thursday, Deb.
Remember: tomorrow is Friday!
Only a bit more of this week to go!
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 03:29 pm
What do YOU do when you don't even want to go to your contract job? (Apart from go anyway, of course!)
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 03:32 pm
Me? I go & do what I must do anyway.
(But I know that there'll eventually be an end to that contract. Which helps a lot.)
Feeling much like you're feeling, though. Neutral
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 03:36 pm
It helps that I really enjoy adolescents & like working with them.
It's being locked in the system, with no end in sight, that makes me really unhappy.
Reply Wed 3 Feb, 2010 03:39 pm
Yes...I'd hate to work in our education bureaucracy...or in the private system.

That's why I walked out of teaching one semester from getting the bit of paper!

I admire you re the adolescents.

One of the reasons I am in the job I am in is because I was so burned out with the "borderline" adolescents!! If I never see an adolescent again it will be too soon. I am supposed to stop at 12 now.

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