Boss Hitting on me?

So our lady likes to play! Toying with the perv is exquisitely empowering, and can be a hoot....for everyone.

I wasn't trying to make him jealous! I was only saying how he was acting.. and he has been acting shity towards me. I guess it is almost a good thing that I don't like the guy that I went out with for anything other than being his friend.

I'll have to tell my boss that when I go to work in the morning so he will stop being a ass.

No, you don't have to tell your boss anything about your personal life.

He has been an ass about it because he knew someone was going to take me out.. this is what happens when you work in a small office!!

He has been harder on me the past few days. yelled at me when I didn't have his coffee made and in his office after he got back from a meeting. I got busy with a customer and putting up supplies..

What happens in a small office with a dense secretary: they play with her!

It is as inappropriate <sheesh> of you to discuss your personal life with your boss, as it is for him to discuss his with you.

It really is starting to read as if you're playing with him instead of the other way around.

Why are you making him coffee? I thought that went out 50 years ago! Dear me.
Good to see some guys here, though.

My Boss called me into his office yesterday morning and said to me " This has to be nipped in the bud, this can not go on. If I have done or said something that was perceived as a come on or something like that then thats not what it is. I have been to casual with you and it has to end before it goes further." He just came out and said all of this!

Ah, looks like he got scared that you might act on a harassment charge against
him. Let's hope he keeps his promise to treat you differently.

More likely he is covering his ass.

Really? " This has to be nipped in the bud, this can not go on." sounds like it is her doing, and it better stop. Maaybe not, but this is the usual case when bosses start talking like this.

More likely he had a tape recorder running in this desk drawer and is trying to cover his own ass from any possible future charges. Pinklady might be a little naive about the big picture of these things, but I doubt she was a deliberate catalyst of the problem. She wasn't even sure she was reading the guy correctly at first. Overtime her instincts proved correct, but I don't she did anything on purpose to encourage this guy.

I once had a male co-worker toss an M&M candy down my blouse. It was not an accident, he offered to retrieve it. I good naturedly offered to castrate him with a paper cutter. He must of thought I was really pissed because he told another co-worker I dared him to do it and asked the guy to back up his story if I told our manager. Some how the story did get back to our manager and he came over to me and basically asked what I did to provoke the incident. I said I didn't do anything and the blouse was not even low cut. My manager smiled, looked me hard in the eye and said "well maybe you should start wearing turtlenecks and that will prevent future possible ring shots." I'm sure he thought he was putting a witty end to any charges of harassment, but it pissed me off more than the M&M - so yes, some bosses do talk like that when they feel it might stop a problem with their staff.

Thanks for the partial quote. I did not say it sounds like it was her doing -- UNLESS you leave out a few preceding words.

Really.

He's making it look like it's her fault this all happened, oh wait, nothing happened.

"I have been too casual with you and this must end before it goes any further."

What a slime ball. This makes it sound like she was doing something, and, out of the goodness of his heart, he was letting it slide.

Mark my words ladyinpink, if this comes to a head with his superiors, he's set you up as the instigator of all this.

You sent him text messages (which you were warned not to do by multiple people here, for this very reason). By letting his actions and comments slide he can now say that he took that as agreement.
Or, since there's a wife, he can go back on the "she's just a kid, I realized she was acting inappropriately, and was just trying to give her a break. Now that I realize she went over the line in her proposals to me, I just have to let her know I'd just let it go on too long, and now it has to stop.

You're screwed.

Just find another job, and put this behind you.
I wouldn't want to spend anymore time around him anyway. What a jerk.

He's craftier than you are.

it didnt do him ay good to talk to me and say that what had gone on was his fault and that he was sorry and wouldn't do it anymore.. he is still doing just about the same things. I have learned to just deal with it and it's how he is. I don't think he can stop himself even if he really wanted to.
I know I should have listned to those about sending him txt messages.. that is one of the things he said that I only needed to do incase of an emergency or something, but he had sent me a txt message when I drove by the office and didn' wave at him and one in a joking way..so it's like " OK, you txt me too!"

With all that said he is a very nice man and helps me when I need it and is good to everyone in the office.

Sorry Roger, I did misunderstand. I thought you were saying it was her fault. Rereading I see I got the wrong message.

LP, I have to agree with Chai. This is a mess, move on, and take the lesson with you.

In hindsight, I should have realized that.

"this is what happens when you work in a small office!!"

No, it isn't. Certainly not necessarily. You are being worked.

Get away from this set up where you get to be victim or mistress, a mistress victim, or subject for ridicule - the guy's a clod. Move along.

Edit to add, you are working him back.

Wake up and smell the coffee sweetie.

It's time you stop being so naive & innocent, and dare I say, stupid.

He is Not a very nice man.
He's not a very nice man at all.

Of COURSE his actions haven't changed!
Why should he changed now that he's set you up as the instigator of all this.

He's already made it sound (and I don't doubt he recorded it) like it's your fault. Now, if you complain, he'll pull out the recording and say you're just trying to get back at him for refusing your advances.

You better smarten up girl.

The best you can hope for is to get a good, better job, and learn you have to open your mouth to complain at the first sign of impropriety. If this happens again, and nothing happens after you one fair warning to the offender, take it to the next level, and don't stop until something is done.

If you leave though, and you will someday, I really feel sorry if he finds another female to replace you.
You do realize your setting her up for the same bullshit, don't you?