Boss Hitting on me?

oh....

and if ladyinpink comes and says "I can't do that"

no.....she just won't do that.

her choice.

if she does stop this man, she will dispair about how he suddenly thinks she's a bitch.
in truth, she is being his bitch when she allows him to treat her like that female dog, like some animal.

Of course she needs to stand up for herself, but the first time it's hard. I remember being her age and having unwanted men say lewd comments to me. I was no wimp, but at 20 I was not ready to give much fight either. I was embarrassed and often thought I might be partly to blame. If someone tried it on me today I would kick their balls out their tailbone, but I've come a long way.

Well, I hope that by her hearing more experienced women say that the right thing to do is to put an immediate stop to this, and how we would handle it, will give her inspiration.

ladyinpink, why are you letting this person treat you like a slut?
He's treating you like a whore because you let him treat you that way.

You have the right to be treated as an intelligent human being, and you do have the power to make that happen.

Hi guys,

I did send him the text and I left off the part about him being married and my boss. He replyed back that the comments would stop.

No it's not a law firm.. and he does have a boss. It just feels isolated becuase the office is small and he is the one over the office, it's his office. It's actually an insurance office. It gives a feeling like there is no place to go for help or to do it with out him finding out.

I think it would be a good idea even though I sent him the text to just sit down and have a face to face convo and I will try and not be shy about what I really want to say to him!! That he has made me feel used and dirty like I'm his play thing

On the off chance that the texting has a lasting effect, I would leave it where it is. I doubt it will work, but if it does, you might reread the other suggestions.

There's a good chance he's going to "test the waters" to see if you were serious. You might have to prove you are not going to be his pretty little doormat anymore. If he does anything even marginally over the line you will need to act on the spot, so practice in your head what to say and even out loud at home. It will be easier to fight back if you have a plan and a little script ready. Be prepared to look him in the eye and bite his head off, if need be, at that point you will have nothing to lose. This is the kind of stuff that doesn't kill you, but it does make you stronger.

Agreeing with GW.
You stated your case, he'll try to see if you're serious, let him know you are.

Good for you for making a stand.

do not use this phrase when speaking with him

yeah, you need to keep it on a strictly business level now.
don't give him another chance to harrass you.

if he does it anyway, time to find another job...

i would recommend for the future to stick strictly to professional communication channels - work email during work hours. never evening, never via personal cell phone. you're possibly opening new channels for him where you certainly don't want him in.

Whatever you do, do NOT text him again.

Do not respond to any texts he sends.

It is really inappropriate to be using personal communication devices for this type of work matter.

On both of your parts.

It is past time for you to get in touch with the company's head office.

in this case, he has a LOT of people he has to report to.

You need to escalate the matter.

He didn't say anything wrong or look at me like I was a piece of meat and one of our insureds asked me out and I'm having lunch with him Wednesday. He was a little bothered by that.

You should be. You very much need to learn boundaries. You're working toward being used twice. I don't say this to be mean, but to alert you.

We techs used to get 'romanced' by pharmaceutical salesmen routinely.

Please, open your eyes.

I got to a point where I would not partake of the professional salesman's feast for us (think fancy baloney sandwiches) while he gave us his spiel. That was in my second career. In the first, medical labs, the major purveyors were very slick, and some of them were probably nice people under cover... but don't go there.

A client, one of the insured?
Girl, you need a course in ethics. That is a sure mess up.

I'm beginning to wonder if ladyinpink, herself, is playing cat and mouse.

extraordinarily inappropriate of you

Oh my, this is more than unprofessional - never ever go out with clients,
unless it's a business lunch, and I highly doubt that in your case.

What's the big deal? It's not like she has to sleep with him. Not unless he pays, of course. But let's not rush to conclusions people!

In that case, it would be a business "lunch" again.

trying to make your perv-boss jealous is definitely not the way to go...