Listen very carefully here. In this case the women are the perpetrators. The boys are the victims. Blaming the boys for what is being done to them is simply wrong (in the same way the blaming girls for being raped is wrong).
I think you're just embarrassed that you got called out for that idiotic comment about "Lolitas".
One was the thread about the man buying his son a hooker for his 15th birthday, as DrewDad pointed out.
I think some people view kids as mini-adults, thinking that when we were children that we would have behaved like we would now, as adults.
if it is commited by a woman?
Keep your "jokes" to yourself.
As the mother of a son I'm dead serious about this.
If it's done by a man everyone gets bent out of shape. But if it's done by a woman we seem to be very forgiving.
What is up with this nonsense?
if it is commited by a woman?
Keep your "jokes" to yourself.
As the mother of a son I'm dead serious about this.
If it's done by a man everyone gets bent out of shape.
But if it's done by a woman we seem to be very forgiving.
What is up with this nonsense?
The notion that boys will be harmed by sex with women is idle superstition.
The Effects of Child Abuse Depend on a Variety of Factors
We have learned from many people's experiences and a great deal of research that the effects of abuse and neglect depend on a variety of factors. Below I group these effects into those which research has shown to influence negative outcomes, and a variety of other factors that are harder to measure for research purposes and/or may be very important for some people but not others.
Factors research has shown to influence the effects of abuse:
* Age of the child when the abuse happened. Younger is usually more damaging, but different effects are associated with different developmental periods.
* Who committed the abuse. Effects are generally worse when it was a parent, step-parent or trusted adult than a stranger.
* Whether the child told anyone, and if so, the person's response. Doubting, ignoring, blaming and shaming responses can be extremely damaging - in some cases even more than the abuse itself.
* Whether or not violence was involved, and if so, how severe.
* How long the abuse went on.
Additional factors that are difficult to research or may differ in significance for different people:
* Whether the abuse involved deliberately humiliating the child.
* How "normal" such abuse was in the extended family and local culture.
* Whether the child had loving family members, and/or knew that someone loved her or him.
* Whether the child had some good relationships - with siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, etc.
* Whether the child had relationships in which "negative" feelings were acceptable, and could be expressed and managed safely and constructively.
Some of these factors are about how severe the abuse was, and some are about the relational context of the abuse and the child's reactions. Both types of factors are extremely important.
A great deal of research has been conducted, and continues to be conducted, on how such factors determine outcomes for those abused in childhood. Factors that increase the likelihood of negative outcomes have been referred to as "risk factors," and ones that decrease the likelihood of negative outcomes as "protective factors." Every person who has experienced abuse is unique. And every person who has experienced abuse has a unique combination of risk and protective factors that have influenced, and continue to influence, the effects in his or her life.
In summary, it is important to appreciate that these issues are very complex, and to be familiar with how abuse and neglect can - depending on a variety of other factors - affect various aspects of a person's life. Keep this in mind as you search the web for information and understanding about the effects of child abuse.
Potential Long-Term Effects of the Sexual Abuse of Males
This section lists potential, but not inevitable, lasting effects of the sexual abuse of male children. It should not be read as a "laundry list" of problems and symptoms that necessarily follow the sexual abuse of males, nor does the presence of any in males with sexual abuse histories necessarily mean the abuse is their primary cause. (See above.)
Findings on the long-term effects of child sexual abuse in males have been more consistent than those on prevalence. Methodologies for detecting problems and symptoms that could be outcomes are relatively straightforward, and many studies have utilized standardized measures that are widely accepted in the field.
First, I want to recommend a paper by David Lisak, Ph.D. This paper contains many powerful quotations from interviews with male survivors of sexual abuse. Lisak groups the quotations into themes, and discusses them with remarkable insight and compassion. The themes are:
* Anger
* Fear
* Homosexuality Issues
* Helplessness
* Isolation and Alienation
* Legitimacy
* Loss
* Masculinity Issues
* Negative Childhood Peer Relations
* Negative Schemas about People
* Negative Schemas about the Self
* Problems with Sexuality
* Self Blame/Guilt
* Shame/Humiliation
One man emailed me to share this experience: "reading [Lisak's article] was the first time I realized that other people have the same issues I have. I sat in the library and cried when I read that article. Not the usual reaction to scholarly research, but I'm sure Prof. Lisak wouldn't mind" (used with permission).
Lisak, D. (1994). The psychological impact of sexual abuse: Content analysis of interviews with male survivors. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7, 525-548.
Using standardized measures of symptoms, researchers have found that men who were sexually abused in childhood, whether or not they seek out mental health services, may suffer from:
* Anxiety
* Depression
* Dissociation
* Hostility and anger
* Impaired relationships
* Low self-esteem
* Sexual dysfunction
* Sleep disturbance
* Suicidal ideas and behavior
The following researchers have used standardized measures and found different combinations of the above symptoms:
* Bagley, Wood, & Young, 1994
* Briere, Evans, Runtz, & Wall, 1988
* Collings, 1995
* Fromuth & Burkhart, 1989
* Hunter, 1991
* Olson, 1990
* Peters & Range, 1995
Therapists working with men who were sexually abused in childhood have conducted clinical case studies and consistently reported findings on long-term problems including:
* Guilt and self-blame
Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Hunter, 1990.
* Low self-esteem and negative self-image
Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989.
* Problems with intimacy
Bruckner & Johnson, 1987; Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Krug, 1989; Hunter, 1990.
* Sexual problems, compulsions, or dysfunctions
Bruckner & Johnson, 1987; Johnson & Shrier, 1987; Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Hunter, 1990.
* Substance abuse and depression
Krug, 1989.
* Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Myers, 1989.
Some of the long-term effects of sexual abuse are related to the development of gender identity. A number of clinicians' case studies indicate that male survivors of childhood sexual abuse may experience:
* Attempts to "prove" their masculinity by having multiple female sexual partners, sexually victimizing others, and/or engaging in dangerous or violent behaviors
Bruckner & Johnson, 1987; Lew 1988.
* Confusion over their gender and sexual identities
Nasjleti, 1980; Bruckner & Johnson, 1987; Johnson & Shrier, 1987; Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Gilgun & Reiser, 1990.
* Sense of being inadequate as men
Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Pierce & Pierce, 1985.
* Sense of lost power, control, and confidence in their manhood
Myers, 1989.
Finally, some clinicians have noted that sexually abused males often experience confusion and distress about their sexuality:
* Confusion about their own sexual orientation
Nasjleti, 1980; Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Gilgun & Reiser, 1990.
* Fear that the sexual abuse has caused or will cause them to become homosexual
Nasjleti, 1980; Finkelhor, 1984; Dimock, 1988; Gilgun & Reiser, 1990; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989.
* Homophobia, an irrational fear or intolerance of homosexuality
Gilgun & Reiser, 1990; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989.
If a sexual abuser is a MALE,
then he shoud go to jail, but that does not apply to women
who shoud be free of any such interference.
Dynamics of Female Perpetrated Abuse
Some research has reported that female perpetrators commit fewer and less intrusive acts of sexual abuse compared to males. While male perpetrators are more likely to engage in anal intercourse and to have the victim engage in oral-genital contact, females tend to use more foreign objects as part of the abusive act (Kaufman, 1995). This study also reported that differences were not found in the frequency of vaginal intercourse, fondling by the victim or abuser, genital body contact without penetration, or oral contact by the abuser.
Females may be more likely to use verbal coercion than physical force. The most commonly reported types of abuse by female perpetrators include vaginal intercourse, oral sex, fondling, and group sex (Faller, 1987; Hunter et al., 1993). However, women also engage in mutual masturbation, oral, anal, and genital sex acts, show children pornography, and play sex games (Johnson, 1989; Knopp and Lackey, 1987). The research suggests that, overall, female and male perpetrators commit many of the same acts and follow many of the same patterns of abuse against their victims. They also do not tend to differ significantly in terms of their relationship to the victim (most are relatives) or the location of the abuse (Allen, 1991; Kaufman et al., 1995).
It is interesting to note in the study by Kaufman et al., (1995), that 8% of the female perpetrators were teachers and 23% were baby-sitters, compared to male perpetrators who were 0% and 8% respectively. Finkelhor et al., (1988) also report significantly higher rates of sexual abuse of children by females in daycare settings. Of course Finkelhor's findings should not surprise us given that women represent the majority of daycare employees.
Research on teen and adult female sexual abuse perpetrators has found that many suffer from low self-esteem, antisocial behaviour, poor social and anger management skills, fear of rejection, passivity, promiscuity, mental health problems, posttraumatic stress disorder, and mood disorders (Hunter, Lexier, Goodwin, Browne, and Dennis, 1993; Mathews, Matthews, and Speltz, 1989). However, as in the case of male perpetrators, research does not substantiate that highly emotionally disturbed or psychotic individuals predominate among the larger population of female sexual abusers (Faller, 1987).
There is some evidence that females are more likely to be involved with co-abusers, typically a male, though studies report a range from 25% - 77% (Faller, 1987; Kaufman et al., 1995; McCarty, 1986). However, Mayer (1992), in a review of data on 17 adolescent female sex offenders, found that only 2 were involved with male co-perpetrators. She also found that the young women in this study knew their victims and that none experienced legal consequences for their actions.
Self-report studies provide a very different view of sexual abuse perpetration and increase the number of female perpetrators substantially. In a retrospective study of male victims, 60% reported being abused by females (Johnson and Shrier, 1987). The same rate was found in a sample of college students (Fritz et al., 1981). In other studies of male university and college students, rates of female perpetration were found at levels as high as 72% - 82% (Fromuth and Burkhart, 1987, 1989; Seidner and Calhoun, 1984). Bell et al., (1991) found that 27% of males were abused by females. In some of these types of studies females represent as much as 50% of sexual abusers (Risin and Koss, 1987). Knopp and Lackey (1987) found that 51% of victims of female sexual abusers were male. It is evident that case report and self-report studies yield very different types of data about prevalence. These extraordinary differences tell us we need to start questioning all of our assumptions about perpetrators and victims of child maltreatment.
Finally, there is an alarmingly high rate of sexual abuse by females in the backgrounds of rapists, sex offenders, and sexually aggressive men, 59% (Petrovich and Templer, 1984), 66% (Groth, 1979), and 80% (Briere and Smiljanich, 1993). A strong case for the need to identify female perpetrators can be found in Table 4, which presents the findings from a study of adolescent sex offenders by O'Brien (1989). Male adolescent sex offenders abused by "females only" chose female victims almost exclusively.
Please accept my assurance that when I was having successful
sexual contact with those girls, if anyone had said that I shoud not
do it because some other kid will commit suicide,
I 'd not have accepted that reasoning.
If a sexual abuser is a MALE,
then he shoud go to jail, but that does not apply to women
who shoud be free of any such interference.
If I ever serve on a jury
hearing a case of statutory rape
of a woman upon a boy who liked it and who co-operated,
she will have little danger of conviction.
The notion that boys will be harmed by sex with women is idle superstition.
It is very mistaken to criminalize harmless conduct
based upon IDLE SUPERSTITION.
If people wish to enact law to prohibit the conduct of others
then it behooves THEM to prove that harm results from that conduct.
No one has even as much as TRIED to prove that.
As it stands, I am the only person on this thread who
has had personal experience with the subject matter hereof,
and upon the basis of that experience,
I declare that sex between a boy and a woman is OK,
its good and its harmless; less dangerous than swimming in the ocean or riding a bike.
( I got HURT from bikes. )
The notion that boys will be harmed by sex with women is idle superstition.
For a Mensan, you sure are an idiot.
I was sexually abused by two separate, older females.
It's caused me pain, depression, anger, and issues with sex,
and difficulty trusting people.
There's also a huge amount of research on this topic, which refutes your claim.
The Effects of Child Abuse Depend on a Variety of Factors
WHAT is "abuse"; how do we define that? ordinary sex?
Hitting him with a whip? WHAT ?
We have learned from many people's experiences and a great deal of research that the effects of abuse and neglect depend on a variety of factors. Below I group these effects into those which research has shown to influence negative outcomes,
WHAT about positive outcomes?
Is it scientific to consider only ONE SIDE of it?
and a variety of other factors that are harder to measure for research purposes and/or may be very important for some people but not others.
What do u mean "important"?
Is that scienific ???
How is that quantified?
Factors research has shown to influence the effects of abuse:
WHAT kind of "research" ?
Controlled experiments?
Double blind experiments?
* Age of the child when the abuse happened.
WHAT abuse is this? Rape? Forcible sodomy? Kissing? WHAT?
Younger is usually more damaging, but different effects are associated with different developmental periods.
* Who committed the abuse. Effects are generally worse when it was a parent, step-parent or trusted adult than a stranger.
Are we discussing INCEST in this thread ?? I was not aware of that.
* Whether the child told anyone, and if so, the person's response. Doubting, ignoring, blaming and shaming responses can be extremely damaging - in some cases even more than the abuse itself.
* Whether or not violence was involved, and if so, how severe.
OBVIOUSELY. No one disputes the immorality and illegality of violence.
I thought we were discussing willing behavior.
* How long the abuse went on.
Additional factors that are difficult to research or may differ in significance for different people:
Does this mean guesswork, because thay are DIFFICULT to research?
* Whether the abuse involved deliberately humiliating the child.
* How "normal" such abuse was in the extended family and local culture.
* Whether the child had loving family members, and/or knew that someone loved her or him.
* Whether the child had some good relationships - with siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, etc.
* Whether the child had relationships in which "negative" feelings were acceptable, and could be expressed and managed safely and constructively.
Some of these factors are about how severe the abuse was,
and some are about the relational context of the abuse and
the child's reactions. Both types of factors are extremely important.WHAT is "abuse"? Kissing? Brutal sodomy ?
A great deal of research has been conducted, and continues to be conducted, on how such factors determine outcomes for those abused in childhood. Factors that increase the likelihood of negative outcomes have been referred to as "risk factors," and ones that decrease the likelihood of negative outcomes as "protective factors." Every person who has experienced abuse is unique. And every person who has experienced abuse has a unique combination of risk and protective factors that have influenced, and continue to influence, the effects in his or her life.Notice reference only to NEGATIVE outcomes with no reporting of positive outcomes.
This is naked prejudice, intended only to justify a preconceived conclusion.
In summary, it is important to appreciate that these issues are very complex, and to be familiar with how abuse and neglect can - depending on a variety of other factors - affect various aspects of a person's life. Keep this in mind as you search the web for information and understanding about the effects of child abuse.
Potential Long-Term Effects of the Sexual Abuse of Males
This indicates GUESSWORK.
This is not science.
This section lists potential, but not inevitable, lasting effects of the sexual abuse of male children. It should not be read as a "laundry list" of problems and symptoms that necessarily follow the sexual abuse of males, nor does the presence of any in males with sexual abuse histories necessarily mean the abuse is their primary cause. (See above.)
Findings on the long-term effects of child sexual abuse in males have been more consistent than those on prevalence. Methodologies for detecting problems and symptoms that could be outcomes are relatively straightforward, and many studies have utilized standardized measures that are widely accepted in the field.
First, I want to recommend a paper by David Lisak, Ph.D. This paper contains many powerful quotations from interviews with male survivors of sexual abuse. Lisak groups the quotations into themes, and discusses them with remarkable insight and compassion. The themes are:
Note that this only recommends his favorite reading matter,
not objective findings in victims.
* Anger
* Fear
* Homosexuality Issues
* Helplessness
* Isolation and Alienation
* Legitimacy
* Loss
* Masculinity Issues
* Negative Childhood Peer Relations
* Negative Schemas about People
* Negative Schemas about the Self
* Problems with Sexuality
* Self Blame/Guilt
* Shame/Humiliation
One man emailed me to share this experience: "reading [Lisak's article] was the first time I realized that other people have the same issues I have. I sat in the library and cried when I read that article. Not the usual reaction to scholarly research, but I'm sure Prof. Lisak wouldn't mind" (used with permission).
Lisak, D. (1994). The psychological impact of sexual abuse: Content analysis of interviews with male survivors. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7, 525-548.
Using standardized measures of symptoms, researchers have found that men who were sexually abused in childhood, whether or not they seek out mental health services, may suffer from:
MAY ??
I may get elected President in 2012,
but that theoretical possibility gives us little reliable information.
* Anxiety
* Depression
* Dissociation
* Hostility and anger
* Impaired relationships
* Low self-esteem
* Sexual dysfunction
* Sleep disturbance
* Suicidal ideas and behavior
The following researchers have used standardized measures and found different combinations of the above symptoms:
* Bagley, Wood, & Young, 1994
* Briere, Evans, Runtz, & Wall, 1988
* Collings, 1995
* Fromuth & Burkhart, 1989
* Hunter, 1991
* Olson, 1990
* Peters & Range, 1995
Therapists working with men who were sexually abused in childhood have conducted clinical case studies and consistently reported findings on long-term problems including:
* Guilt and self-blame
Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Hunter, 1990.
* Low self-esteem and negative self-image
Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989.
* Problems with intimacy
Bruckner & Johnson, 1987; Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Krug, 1989; Hunter, 1990.
* Sexual problems, compulsions, or dysfunctions
Bruckner & Johnson, 1987; Johnson & Shrier, 1987; Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Hunter, 1990.
* Substance abuse and depression
Krug, 1989.
* Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Myers, 1989.
Some of the long-term effects of sexual abuse are related to the development of gender identity. A number of clinicians' case studies indicate that male survivors of childhood sexual abuse may experience:
* Attempts to "prove" their masculinity by having multiple female sexual partners, sexually victimizing others, and/or engaging in dangerous or violent behaviors
Bruckner & Johnson, 1987; Lew 1988.
* Confusion over their gender and sexual identities
Nasjleti, 1980; Bruckner & Johnson, 1987; Johnson & Shrier, 1987; Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Gilgun & Reiser, 1990.
* Sense of being inadequate as men
Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Pierce & Pierce, 1985.
* Sense of lost power, control, and confidence in their manhood
Myers, 1989.
Finally, some clinicians have noted that sexually abused males often experience confusion and distress about their sexuality:
* Confusion about their own sexual orientation
Nasjleti, 1980; Dimock, 1988; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989; Gilgun & Reiser, 1990.
* Fear that the sexual abuse has caused or will cause them to become homosexual
Nasjleti, 1980; Finkelhor, 1984; Dimock, 1988; Gilgun & Reiser, 1990; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989.
* Homophobia, an irrational fear or intolerance of homosexuality
Gilgun & Reiser, 1990; Lew, 1988; Myers, 1989.
