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Abusive Father

 
 
Reply Mon 25 Aug, 2014 10:40 pm
Hi guys. I'm 19 years old, I live in NYC and I go to school here as well. I tried for out state college and my mom left me so i got stuck with my dad. No biggie. I usually self sacrifice. I think of others more so than myself. Mom recently came back into my life and came home to stay with us permanently. They argued today and somehow I got dragged into it. My father's father left him when he was young, luckily, he decided not to do that to me. He also used to drink and smoke but he stopped. He has a very bad habit of putting people down, shouting, cursing and carrying on-- he has anger issues. Bad ones. I do too but usually when I feel wronged or passionate, they show. Anyways, my parents got into an argument and my father turned up on my mom for her lack of consideration. She turned to me and asked me if he was yelling and i was like he is usually loud (he's asian and jamaican). But it was a pretty neutral and non incriminating statement yet somehow he turns around as says I always take up for my mom when all my life as a kid, I always defended him! He automatically groups me with my mom and calls his friends and talks a massive amount of crap about me and her and says how he is going to leave us and mom can collect child support and I think I'm grown but I am going to be 20 in December! He treats me like I am 9 yrs old!! I have to ask if I can hang out with my friends; have a curfew... its insane. And then he lies on me to others to make himself look great and me look like a problem child. He's been doing this for years. I work a part time job with AutoZone also and attend college and so I feel like while I'm trying to be independent my dad is doing everything he canto get in the way. What are you opinions? What should I do?
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jespah
 
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Reply Tue 26 Aug, 2014 06:48 am
@kyoko1229,
Save your money so that you can get out as soon as possible. Look into cheap housing and scholarships, loans, etc. at your school in order to try to speed up the process. Do your best to extricate yourself from the drama and the hurt.

As for your mother, all I can offer is that you can, once you are situated independently, reach out to her. But it can take a while for victims to leave their abusers.
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