Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 01:45 pm
he abused me verbally emotionally and forced me into physical touch against my will....as he says i belong to him...and he own me and has a right over me and he dont need my permission to touch me because im his....whenever i say something even bad about myself he says shut up too me ...that dnt say anything about my thing :O...and the tone is so nerve wrecking and heart pinching that i wana cut his throat right away...ufffff...he tortures alot....i was trap in this circle for about 2 years...his circle never stopped ...he never admits until now that he abused me and says he became possessive and never wanted to hurt me..


its mostly forcement in physical touch...i used to say no...and there was a huge manipulative argument..he pressurized me and forced me threat to leave me or if not this then used to emotionally and verbally abused me...i told before i was guard less and weak as i was in love with him which is why it became more easy for me to be under his control...

one more thing during that period i used to ask him why you forces me and his reply was i couldnt tolerate even a single second to stay away from you....his touch was such a disrespect and not in a gentle or seducing way it was yakh and sexual...ohhh...so bad ...i am also planing to get him arrested..right now i am handling it alone and haven't told my family yet.....and i am afraid of telling them....:I....

he is the guy whom i spend my childhood too...we grew up together..very good family relations....my gosh i dnt know how my family will react....if i told them i dnt think ill be needing police to do the job:O...he will be dead..oh....there will be an Armageddon between two families...:O


what should i do i dnt know.....he even told my family through his family and himself that he wishes to marry me...and both families are so hapyy ...celebrating:I...eh...ah shoot....my family so happy that their girl got the best man on earth..:O...as he was always from the childhood a decent gentleman...oppsss....but now only i know the face behind this decent caring face....


please tell me what to do.....
 
dalehileman
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 01:51 pm
@jojo love,
Quote:
please tell me what to do.....
Difficult Jojo without knowing something more about you
jojo love
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 01:53 pm
@dalehileman,
what do you want to know? i can tell you more if you are not understanding my situation
dalehileman
 
  0  
Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 04:24 pm
@jojo love,
Quote:
what do you want to know?
Anything you think you can reveal without disclosing your ID: Age, sex (f we suppose), locality, nat'l, relig, ed., motives, family etc etc
jojo love
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 05:24 pm
@dalehileman,
well i told you my situation...what else ..hmmm..i dnt get it what you want...u wana know a bit more..

i was trapped in this relation because i was unable to recognized the pattern...the very strong reason was, he is my childhood friend...his and my family are too strong bonded family...to everyone he was decent and mature and caring and loving ...my parents love him very much..my brother is very close with him,,very good buddies...my brother recommended this guy for me..once i said that what do say about him and he happily said very nice guy ..he said indirectly that it is ok from my side


...we all trust him....see nobody saw anything weird in him ever......this is such a tragedy to me...that i became victim....and nobody knows who he really is....because of such strong trust bond...i dnt remember when i fell in love with him back when i was 25 it officially started...i trusted him like hell and i easily let my guards down because i was never afraid of him that he will make me do and pressurize me etc etc....i am not a fool that i know how he is and let my guards down so anyone can trap me easily...its just a total different unexpected behavior from him.......

latest scenario he is apologizing and admitted he abused me ...and still wants to marry and proposing me again and again...but i am ignoring it....i just need some advises on how to take one last step to run away from him and tell him its over....

i cant tell my family right now im scared....
jojo love
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 05:29 pm
@jojo love,
three common phrases he used to say..i own you...u belong to me ....and i have a right over u....:O..no make it four...xea the most scary...i absorb you :O :I
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 05:57 pm
@jojo love,
Regardless of how disappointed you think your family is going to be when you tell them what's been going on, I want you to know something.

Your family loves you more than they love him.

They can take it if you tell them you don't want to marry this man.

They can take it if you tell them he's been hurting you.


Do it now, tell them now. Tell them yesterday. Anybody who has a family with a lick of sense will be relieved, and will get out of this kind of a bad situation.

Understand that some families are terrible. Yours may be one of them. But you are not giving them a chance to do the right thing. So tell them, and give them the chance.

They may react with disbelief. They may ask if you are certain. Tell them what you've written here. Tell them you are certain.

All the best to you.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 14 Apr, 2014 06:24 pm
@jespah,
Show your family this thread.

He's a rapist and he's not going to stop.

Do you have children?
jojo love
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2014 06:05 am
@chai2,
no children..he was my guy i wanted to marry...and by the way my first ever guy at the age of 25..he was my childhood love...we grew up together....let me tell you about myself what kind of girl i am...

i am an independent girl..i am an artist...i have so many dreams...buy my own studio..and have the biggest exhibition of my work..

he was the the first guy i officially friend with when i was 25..yes i did waited for one....its true...and even save myself for one.and yes i do believe all physical stuff after marriage..a kiss is good before..its sweet...but no other touching.....i am a romantic person xea...i thot he was the one...couldnt recognized his pattern because of too damn trust from childhood....i still cant believe he did....you dnt know how he puts his personality in front of all....psycho....damn him...

i love myself more than anything in this world...i take care of myself...its not i have low self esteem...that is why i loved him like hell....i was caring and what not and i bacame weak and selfless ...i guess thts what happens in love....selfless.......


i was under his control...its not like i used say no...i did ...he was abusive....so as soon as i started to have my power back i started to push him away....and i was clueless what happened ...i google it out and searched for dangers of possessiveness and which lead me to read more into abusive relationship....i read and read what not...everything from personality disorders from whatnot....then i afraid of telling anyone started to join different love forums to tell what happened and i got responses which further opened my eyes..... that i was in abusive relationship........uff...trust me i had no idea of it..i thot its just in movies like perfume....well...hmm


i read so much to make myself believe it actually happened...i am getting help from so many people around the world to run as fast as you can..just run away from him...he is dangerous......so love goes to hell...i dnt care...and ofcourse i love myself i am leaving...im not gonna be someone's toy....

but i want to be far away from him...my dad settled in london few months back...and we are also in the preparation of leaving our place...right now we are in asia...so we are moving to another continent...ahhhh far far away ....well thats my luck ..right...although my family dont know what their girl went through...but ill tell them someday...i think its my luck that my family planned to move...n i am so happyyyy....

no my family is great...they gona kill him...its me whose afraid.....i belong to very respected family....the moment i gave them a hint about domestic abusement they gonna ask directly from me that why are YOU asking....tell us what happened....so its like this.....i am scared very scared...

one thing clearly i wana say he did sexually abused me but that does not include sex...he did other bad sexual things yes he did but i got saved from sex...
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2014 07:01 am
@jojo love,
It really doesn't matter much if he achieved sexual penetration or not. He was and is still abusing you.

Tell. Your. Family. Get. Out. Of. This. Destructive. Relationship.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2014 07:19 am
@jojo love,
jojo love wrote:

no children..he was my guy i wanted to marry...and by the way my first ever guy at the age of 25..he was my childhood love...we grew up together

thot he was the one...couldnt recognized his pattern because of too damn trust from childhood....i still cant believe he did....you dnt know how he puts his personality in front of all....psycho....damn him...



Yeah well, all this is over now. Get out while you can.

jojo love
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2014 11:46 am
@chai2,
ok i got it....i will leave obvio...i love myself....il keep on posting ...end of the trash ..i have to work on my career:)...but one think should i tell him its over or just ignore him until i leave this continent soon...
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2014 01:41 pm
You are asking American women this question - and we are all amazed that you would stay in this abusive relationship and not tell your family that you have decided he is not the one for you.

This seems to be common sense to me. Get out. Stop suffering. Tell him to leave quietly or you will tell your family and they will deal with him.

Your cultural, religious or familial pressures put you at risk.

jojo love
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2014 01:53 pm
@PUNKEY,
trust me its over...i am living with my parents not him...xea you are right i have pressure on me but that doesnt mean im staying...no way...nope...i am taking my family in confidence ..told my friends first and they were shocked first but they believe me...and they are making sure that i dont go back....or get stuck with him again...i am avoiding all contact with him....
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2014 06:19 pm
@jojo love,
I wish you luck.
jojo love
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Apr, 2014 07:06 pm
@PUNKEY,
..how dare he hurt the most precious person on earth ever born 'ME'...loser he is..he should go rot in hell...thanks to everyone who helped me and advised me with all their hearts ...thank uuuuuuuuu
jojo love
 
  1  
Reply Wed 16 Apr, 2014 02:20 pm
@jojo love,
by the way i am happy that i am still a virgin....and my virginity is not snatched from me by an abuser:O...its a relief trust me....
0 Replies
 
 

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