abuse

Ive been with her for over a year, never cheated or have done anything to hurt her. When i met her i fell head over heels for her, moved in a couple months later. While i was at work she was talking to a guy out of state, sexting, i found out and was very hurt, i forgave, then it kept coming up. Ive had trust issues from that. I treat her good, tell her shes beautiful, open doors, massages all the time. Then after the lies and diff things i found out the day came to were we got in a arguement over somthin she did wrong, she punched me 10 times in face driving down the road, ended up in jail because a cop was behind us. This week 8 months after all that, were engaged to br married in nov. We had a dispute about her ex because i didnt want him at our house at all because when we split up at times she allways talked to him, he would call her late at night while we were together and she would act suprised but not answer. Anyways we were talking it escalated, i made a comment are u going to call him now because she stormed out of room with phone, she said oh ya im goibg to finger myself while i talk to him, i got upset and the word **** came out of my mouth, very sorry i feel bad. She came back and punched me in the face and broke stuff in house. Last night i changed to her old phone, text on there to her son saying how she contacted her ex when we were split up for help and stuff, i got upset becayse she told me diff but i didnt raise my voice i was upset and wanted to talk, she tried grabbing the phone and i held on to it. She finally got it and punched me three times in the jaw. Im so hurt and confused but i love her, what do i do. I cant talk to her about serious stuff or she will get pissed and tell me im a bitch.

Ok you had picked an abused and cheating mate so what do you wish from us?

Get out. Yesterday. Google battered woman's syndrome. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battered_person_syndrome

Better yet, pack a bag and start Googling shelters in your area. You really want to hang around long enough for an inflicted injury to become permanent?

Are you of the opinion that she is not aware of that fact before posting here?

It take two people to be in and have a long term abused relationship not one.

Jess - know this:
1. Her actions will only escalate - and you will be the victim every time.
2. If you act like a floor mat, you get stepped on.
3. She sounds bi-polar or like a violent drunk.

Get away from her and then get into counseling to see why you would even put up with this for one time.

No she doesnt know, and no i have never abused her at all, i sit there and take it then find my self going to her to say sorry. Ive never been punched from a girl

I dont know why, but i love her and i have a hard time giving up. I cant talk to her about stuff likr this because she gets all worked up, i slept downstairs last night away from her, i have a bruse on my jaw and it hurts. My heart is hurt today, she has anxiety and takes meds but i just dont know i love her so much. I go to her everytime and apoligize like i will today, she says i act like a woman, no i just care very much and i have a huge heart

If you don't want to make a change, then don't go on line and pour out such a story asking for comments.

It is NOT normal for people to stand there and get beat up or to live in an abusive situation, then apologize for their role and the turmoil. Either we are not getting the full story, or you are a sap.

You need some help. You don't have a "big heart" - and you are not showing real love or receiving a respectful love back. Your lack of self esteem is allowing you to be a punching bag. Pitiful.

Oh i do have a big heart, i just need advice, i give her the benifit of the doubt. Maybe i am messed up i dont know but i do know i love her. She tells me all the time how much i mean to her, how could she hit me and call me names like that if she loves me.

And you have been given advice, you just don't like the advice you've been given. So I will give you the advice you want to hear so you can be happy.

Stay with her. Continue to get physically abused and continue to think so little of yourself that you end up apologizing for whatever. Eventually things will escalate and she will either kill you or you will lash out and kill her. Either way, that will be the end of things.

There, are you happy now?

I understand what your saying, your saying dont be a dumbass get out. I just dont understand, she will treat me good love me then snap and do this stuff. Now today when i get home she will act like nothing happend at all and if im upset then whatever

That is a pretty classic abuser's behavior. I bet after she's cracked ya one, she's extremely apologetic and loving, perhaps buying presents and certainly being solicitous. That is another classic behavior.

Get out yesterday. And yes, BillRM, I am well aware that most people have heard of shelters, etc. For the 1% of the population that hasn't, the information remains valuable. And for the larger % who take it and think it is somehow their due, that they have a big heart when the reality is that they are really just a sucker and a doormat, I do hope that some of what I am typing helps them to, as Ann Landers used to say, "Wake up and smell the coffee."

Jess - these things do not end well. This is not a happy little fairy tale where, if you were only faster with dinner, or better in bed, or quieter, or smarter, or better with money, or younger, or thinner, or prettier, or more subservient, or whatever the **** she wants this time, that somehow this crap would stop. It won't, unless you remove yourself from the situation.

Today it's a painful jaw. Would you like for, tomorrow, for it to be a broken jaw? Would you like to eat the remainder of your meals, for the rest of your life, through a straw? Because that is the way this tale could very well end.

Do Google abuse and battered woman's syndrome, as I suggested. I think you don't know what any of that is, and are in pretty dang deep denial.

To tell you the honest truth, she doesnt say sorry like that because she knows i will come to her and make it better. I know what your saying and understand. I really love her, she has nothing to offer me and i dont know what keeps me here. Shes made comments about going jody arias style if i ever call her a **** again, which i cant believe i said that, and im sure readers are thinking well if shes closed hand punching u then your not telling the truth. I am telli.g the truth, im very honest, i have trust issues with her because of all the things that she has done to me. But im also saying she really is a good woman, she makes mr dinner and hangs out with me but when i have an issue and want to talk so i understand, i gget punished, 99% verbal. I was raised you treat a woman good, u dont hit, or disrespect. She left me on christmas, i had an issue with her boss because he was texting her out of the blue not relavent to work. When she left for 10 days she ended up going out to stripp clubd with her boss and coworkers got drunk and she slept at his house with him and another girl. She told me nothing happend they fell asleep on couch and she woke up on his ass. She told me he and the other guy wanted to **** her that night, i saw on her facebook that she put in a message to the other guy that was there, no we didnt **** we spooned lol, she told me it was a joke, sge never did anything, what do u think. I understand we were split up but is that why she left so she could do those things. 10 days later she wanted me back, and while we were split up, she contacted that guy out of state that she was sexting in the begginning. She told me she would never talk to him again, shes 33 im 26, i know im younger but i know right fron wrong, she swears to me nothing happend im just insecure, hmmmm am i wrong, am i messed up, im so confused. I hope i am wrong i hope i just have a hard time letting it go from the begginning. I dont beat her up over it i just want honesty and love, shes a beautiful girl and im a athletuc good loojing guy, she tells me im amazing in bed she wouldnt change it, she tells me i care to much whuch i prolly do, i care the world and would protect and do anything for her. Im affraid it will happen again because when she tells me im a piece of ****, nobody, **** off insecure little bitch, and so much more what do i do, i calm down go to her kiss her and give her the power.

Yeah, you do give her the power. And you leave none for yourself.

There seems to be nothing in this for you. This is a lying, cheating abuser. Who cares what they look like?

I know I am not going to convince you today (and I bet no one will), but I do suggest that you think about this. What would you say to someone in a similar predicament?

I would say the same exact thing, its so hard, ive never left anyone before i guess im a pussy. Yesterday during the day while i was at work she was planning wedding stuff, then she punches me am i wrong for thinking how could someone hit someone they love, di u think she loves me? Do u think she messed around with her boss? Just curious if im thinking right

you've been following me around haven't you? but what i want to know is where did you find this one at? she's a real charmer,,, by your accounts. after all we are only getting one side of the story.
WARNING : DO NOT MARRY THIS ONE!! REPEAT, WARNING: DO NOT MARRY THIS ONE!

Keep with her as if she is as good looking as Jodi Arias her murder trial will be another real windfall for the cable news channels.

Your family will get to enjoy her labeling you as the abuser and perhaps like Jodi she will try to label you as a pedophile.

I finally texted her and we started talking, she said sorry and she loves me with her heart, she told me i was bullying her? She said thats a natural reaction, i honestly wasnt out of line. But yes it takes to

As I said it take two to be in a long term abused relationship so I suggest you just go on and enjoy being with such a woman.