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What is your attitude towards your gender?

 
 
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 05:16 pm
I'm posting to see the range of reaction.
This may be more of a topic for women than men.

For example. I am a woman biologically. Yet I don't feel like I 'AM a woman', I feel like I just 'happen to be a woman'.
I'm young, maybe when I am older I shall feel differently, when matters such as parenthood occur, and I develop maternal instincts and am more in tune with my body.

Of course there is the nature/nurture debate, a lot of this is to do with what gender roles you accept and which you don't.

Could anyone tell me their 'relationship' with their gender, and the reasons why, whether these be 'biological' e.g. motherhood, or societal (if we can even separate these issues).
Has the frame of mind been constant, or has it ever undergone change?
pq x
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Type: Discussion • Score: 24 • Views: 10,021 • Replies: 168

 
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 05:22 pm
honestly, i have a penis, and i'm quite happy with it
0 Replies
 
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 05:27 pm
I AM a man and have always felt like a man. I am happy being a man and I am grateful for women.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 05:41 pm
I am a woman, and I've always been glad of it. Especially so nowadays, when we can pick and choose which roles we want to accept. I might not have been so happy to be a woman in times past.

And yes, having a child does refine your thoughts about gender.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 05:44 pm
@The Pentacle Queen,
The Pentacle Queen wrote:

For example. I am a woman biologically. Yet I don't feel like I 'AM a woman', I feel like I just 'happen to be a woman'.


I feel the same way PQ.

Oh, I like it when I feel that I am attractive, either through the clothes I'm wearing, my makeup, hair, my physique, but I it's not because I feel like it's just because I'm a woman.
If I was a man, I would still like to feel I was attractive, which would be expressed in my clothes, physique, hair, etc.

Anything I could say about how I would like to preceive myself would apply equally if I was male or female....just expressed in different ways.

dj has a penis, and he likes it that way.

I have a vagina, but it's really no big deal.

I can't speak to feeling like a woman because of the maternal thing, since I've never wanted children, and have never felt any urge to snuggle any baby, or any of that stuff I'm supposed to want to do with them.

Oh, I've asked to hold a baby of a friend or relative, and I wanted to. If I had to be totally honest, I would do it with the curiosity if I had the skills needed to hold one. Well, I do, so that's settled.

heh...once my sisters then baby started fussing when my ex-husband was holding her, and he obviously did not know what to do about that. So I took the baby and started doing what millions of women do every day. That, rocking, kinda slow dancing step, swaying side to side at the same time. Like them, I didn't have to be shown how to do that, I just knew.....but it didn't make me feel like I was a woman as opposed to a man. I think the baby responded to me as a feminine figure by my moves, but it wasn't like "ooooohhhh...a baby...."

It was more like "when I do this she stops fussing"

Not saying men can't feel that "oooooohhhhh....a baby....." I just don't.

My brain works just as well as any man, maybe differently, but I don't care about that, it works.
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 05:51 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
I have a vagina, but it's really no big deal.


really Confused

cause i'm a big fan of the vagina too
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 06:01 pm
@The Pentacle Queen,
I feel female to my deepest core, and am very happily so.


This is possibly oddish, because I was a total tomboy as a kid...the only girl in the boy gang....while happily playing with dolls and such.


Hated frills and dresses then....still hate frills, but loved the hippie style long Indian dresses I wore in the seventies...and love dressing up now.

Apart from a worrying period when I took DH Lawrence seriously, I never saw femaleness as necessitating any particular activities, or avoiding others (didn't wear make-up and such until I was in my late thirties, and then as an act of political **** you when I disappointed a lot of my friends by refusing to stand for my union's council again, and was being seen as a traitor to The Left...I took to deep red lippy and eye make-up.)

So...I guess I feel very female, but do whatever I want.

Of course, I am no doubt subject to many conditionings and such I can't see...like smiling more, and worrying about body image a lot and finding wrinkles hard....and I was infuriated by the limits placed on women when I was young, (and still am by a lot of stuff) but ALWAYS absolutely thrilled to be female.



There's some interesting theories about what hormonal conditions etc. in utero affect one's sense of gender....it'll be great when we know more about it.


My female friends are also of intense importance to me.
shewolfnm
 
  2  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 06:04 pm
Hmm..

I honestly felt more female before I had a child.
I did not really want to be a parent, and i still DONT.. if that makes any sense..

I love my daughter, but for me, she didnt define my gender, just my genders ability.
She is my friend.. not the oooohhhh aaahhhhh baby.

I dont know quite how to explain it.


I do enjoy being a woman. I think we have a lot more power then we know and when we use it, our worlds bend and fold in awesome ways.

I would almost say the same for men, except that I cant. I dont think men have it as easy as we think. it is just expected that a man is powerful and business like, just as it is for a woman to automatically be a mother.
Stereo types, sexually based, are permanent. But they do not define.. they are kind of a perforated outline. It is up to you to take the scissors and cut around them or with them.







*snip snip
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 06:08 pm
@dlowan,
dlowan, serious question...

how do you feel like a woman as opposed to feeling like a person?
what does it feel like to feel like a man? that questions for the guys, and please don't answer "I just feel that way"

Since I don't have any experience feeling anything other than I do, I always figured I feel like me....a person...as woman, but just as opposed to feeling that I'm a man.

really, can you describe this feeling of feeling like a woman?
I've wondered about this.
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 06:16 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
what does it feel like to feel like a man? that questions for the guys, and please don't answer "I just feel that way"


funny, i don't think i feel like a man, i like being a guy, but i really feel that outside of the genitals i've not always been really guy like, not a big sports fan (watch soem, but hate playing them, no competetive spirit waht so ever), like the outdoors, but not hunting, fishing or dirtbikes, snowmobiles, i read a lot as a kid, liked gardening and cooking (still do those things)

i guess i'm kind of guy oriented in my entertainment, hate chick flicks for the most part, like talk radio
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 06:16 pm
@The Pentacle Queen,
Quick answer, I've not worried about all this.
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 06:18 pm
@ossobuco,
ha, true, i never would have thought about this if the question hadn't been posed
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  4  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 06:27 pm
I am a man.
I like women. I tolerate men.
I understand men, I am completely baffled at times by women.
(I like the feeling of being baffled,
it feels more actively alive
than the feeling of certainty.)

I really like being human.
I try, I do, to be present
in the presence of either men or women.
Women seem to appreciate that more than men.
===
Men always seem to be playing louder music.
Women always seem to be interested in the back beat.
Men see the moon rising.
Women watch the stars and sky
until the moon drifts up
to meet their gaze

Joe(and mine)Nation

0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 06:28 pm
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:

Quick answer, I've not worried about all this.


It fascinates me because I have seen so many gender dysmorphic kids....and have known a lot of transvestites and transexuals.
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 06:55 pm
I have usually felt like a man, but I have not always been happy about it. I spent my early adult years trying to embrace my femininity as I thought that my zen was teaching me to do, and I identified as a feminist and was radically opposed to gender differences. I was a stay at home dad for ten years, and most days would find me hanging out with the mom's in the park (early-mid 1990's, before this became common).

My wife filling for divorce 12 years ago hit me like a ton of bricks. I reevaluated everything about my life. After no small amount of self resistance I came to the conclusion that our marriage was not working because I was not providing the masculine energy in our marriage. This caused me for the first time in my life to embrace my masculinity. I convinced my wife to call off the divorce, and set to work.

I still exercise my feminine nature occasionally, usually at work dealing with (figuring out) employee relationship problems, or when I am dealing with kids. I don't act as a woman around my wife ever, other men ever, and rarely is it a good idea around other women, though sometimes it is.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 07:23 pm
@dlowan,
I was veiling as of course I'm interested. I was a girl who wanted to be a doctor at eleven, 1952, and good luck, suzie.

I know only a few transvestites and transexuals, which may be a function of our different years and theater in our communities.

0 Replies
 
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 07:24 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:


heh...once my sisters then baby started fussing when my ex-husband was holding her, and he obviously did not know what to do about that. So I took the baby and started doing what millions of women do every day. That, rocking, kinda slow dancing step, swaying side to side at the same time. Like them, I didn't have to be shown how to do that, I just knew.....but it didn't make me feel like I was a woman as opposed to a man. I think the baby responded to me as a feminine figure by my moves, but it wasn't like "ooooohhhh...a baby...."



It didn't make me feel like a woman when I did the exact same rocking thing with a baby many moons ago.
0 Replies
 
Foofie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 08:26 pm
It is not the gender that means anything, but the society that socializes us. Our biological plumbing is extraneous to how we are socialized to think.
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 08:44 pm
@Foofie,
oy, what a crock.
Foofie
 
  2  
Reply Tue 21 Jul, 2009 08:50 pm
@dyslexia,
You are entitled to your opinion.
0 Replies
 
 

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