My sons father doesnt have to pay child support!

She came here to complain and vent that the society is not doing enough to offset the results of her own bad judgment.

No witch hunt just earn contempt for such a stand or complain.

No, she simply explains that she thinks that her baby daddy should be paying support, even though he clearly has no ability to do so. In most European countries she would have support, because substantial yearly support checks come the the children in care of their parents/guardians. In Europe one parent being in jail would make do difference in the government support to the child. Our poster is partly responsible for the situation that she is in, but it is not her fault that she lives in a society that has strong Darwinist tendencies, in a society that does not show much interest in looking out for the best interests of children or families or the weak or the poor.

Please explain why my two step daughters who both achieved college degrees /careers and then carefully picked their HUSBANDS before having children should help support our friend child with their taxes beyond the minimum needed to maintain life and health of the son?

She did know the kind of society she was giving birth into did she not?

'Please explain why my two step daughters who both achieved college degrees /careers and then carefully picked their HUSBANDS before having children should help support our friend child with their taxes beyond the minimum needed to maintain life and health of the son'

Easy...........they had a more middle class upbringing? had a stable background? had more money? a family who cared for them better and explained things??

Just a wild guess???

It's amazing how these little things can make such a difference to a person as they grow up. I mean surely you're old enough and wise enough to know all this.

I'm not saying it's ok to get yourself knocked up and rely on the state, but try to have a bit of humility for the girl.

People are people no matter where they come from and what their prospects for the future are. People who have had little love and support in their lives are not likely to care much about "family values", people whom have spent their lives working hard for very little reward are not likely to see the benefit of living sensibly in the hopes that wise choices and delaying gratification will be rewarded. But those who have lived a hard life on the fringes of society without ever tasting the rewards offered to the higher classes still need to live....they need companionship, need to hear someone say that they care, need to have some fun and adventure as they toil for their low wages and often long hours doing societies **** work. They make choices that the upper classes would not, like not planning their reproduction, and falling of those of the opposite sex and also politicians who whisper sweet nothings into their ears.

If you want to prevent this then set to work on compression the separation between the classes, which has gotten much worse over the last two generations. If you want to prevent this then work to improve the situation that children find themselves in, like for instance making sure that they have medical care and access to a good education. If you want to do this then do what you can to support the family structure, like working politically to increase wages so that parents can spend more time with the families and so that a parent can afford to stay home and raise the kids if they want to do so.

Blaming people who act in what you feel is a negative way, people who are simply acting out the patterns that have been imprinted upon them by their life's experience, blaming them for not knowing better shows how out of touch you are with those who have not lived your privileged life.

I need to laugh both of them was adopted from biological parents not all that dissimilar to our friend here and if she is concern for her son she could had taken that path and place him up for adoption into a more stable home now could she not?

At least the biological mothers in the case of my two step daughters had enough of a concern for their futures to do so.

Now not only do my step daughters now have a good solid future but their children ongoing into the future will have good starts in lives also.

Yes it is up to the parents one way or another to insurance their children future and my whole point is she had not been doing so just complaining that the society should made up for her shortcomings.

Class my rear end my wife family was lower class working people and yet she ended up with a PHD and a first husband who was a college professor. A cheating college professor but still a college professor and a second husband with just a BSEE degree but then I do not cheat so it seem to balance out.

Our next SC judge did not come from an upper middle class background either and for that matter nor does our current president.

The woman decided to have a child out of wedlock father by a bum and that is no one fault but her own.

Blaming people who act in what you feel is a negative way, people who are simply acting out the patterns that have been imprinted upon them by their life's experience, blaming them for not knowing better shows how out of touch you are with those who have not lived your privileged life.

Like that Hawkeye :-)

Anecdotal stories are nice, but not relevant when the truth is known my way of scientific study. Reality is that the American belief of relatively easy class mobility is a myth.

Sorry it is not a myth that my wife started in a lower economic class household where education were not held in great regards and even more so when it came to females.

To this day she is bitter that her achievements in academia pursuits was greatly discounted by both her mother and father.

Results one PHD holder coming from such a family.

Neither is it myth that the next SC judge came from a lower income family or that the current president also have a similar background.

Yes every where we look you can find examples of that upper ward mobility you are claiming is a myth.

People only have themselves to blame not the society for the bad choices they made in life.

Maybe we should however just pretended it does not happen to be PC correct that we are all hopeless victims of an uncaring society and my life own experiences are indeed worthless because PC “scientific” studies contradict them.

Hell maybe my wife should return her PHD because she had no “right” to had earn such a degree coming from her background?

How much of your wife's success came from being born in a wealthy nation? How much is the result of being born at a time when societies resources were directed towards women as never before in the attempt to make up for alleged historic mistreatment of women? How much was the result of her intelligence and temperament which were almost completely a product of her genetics which she had absolutely nothing to do with? How much was the result of other individuals investing their time, money and energy into her success??

This notion that our success is a result of our hard work alone is so warped that we as a society should question our sanity. There is zero support for this claim, yet we hear it over and over again.

Success and failure are both in the main collective efforts. Those who fail in life usually fail because they have been let down by the collective. It is only in the minority of cases where failure is caused by self sabotage. Those who succeed most often do it primarily upon the backs of others, it is only in the minority of cases that it comes primarily from individual effort.

Success is a function of the gifts that are given to us, either by timing, genetics, location, or other people. Our class during our formative years shapes the rest of our lives, only the few have enough other gifts to break free of their class.

I see no one should have any responsibility for their own deeds be those deeds good or bad. We are all just being blown around by forces way too powerful for us to deal with in any way or in any manner.

Interesting viewpoint of life but not one I can connect to in any or in any manner.

This does not match what you said up several posts.....but the fact of the matter is we as a society are not necessarily providing what this lady needs to care adequately for her child. She may have come here (like many do) to get information from us to help her situation. Even if it comes through as a complaint, we should look to provide helpful information rather than just focus on pidgeon holeing her into a situation which she cannot get out from.

Talk about being taken completely out of content! Did you not see I was summing up another poster position not my own?

In any case she came here to whine about the court system not ordering her dead beat boyfriend to have his child support clock running during the time he was in prison.

It kind of late to offer the suggestion that she keep her legs together until someone not likely to end up in prison would had express a desire to father a child with her and then might even waited for a ring and a married license.

You're pretty smug there, Bill. Hope it gives you the 'right' to feel whatever it is you need to feel.

Yes you are correct I am smug in that I think people should do the right thing and this go double when you are talking about bringing a defenseless baby into the world.

Shame on me that somehow I had a feeling that there is an obligation that go with the ability to bring new life into this world to do so only when you have the ability to raised that baby without going to the taxpayers for help.

Oh beside having the ability to raise a child without taxpayers help it would be nice if you are in a long term stable relationship first perhaps even perhaps with a married license!

Yes I know that is asking a hell of a lot.

we are ALL obligated to do our damndest to make sure that the next generation is given every opportunity to lead happy productive lives. Parents do a great deal of societies work in this regard, you should bow down and kiss their feet in gratitude. To the extent that you don't push to give parents all the tools that they need to do their job well YOU are negligent. Parents and families have been repeatedly short changed and squeezed, and then fools like you rip into them when things go bad. Shame on you.

What family did she had set up to take care of this baby my friend?

A sperm donator of a boyfriend that needed a DNA test before signing off that he is the father? That is the family I should be kissing the feet of?

What aid/tools should we give this “family” a get out of jail free card for the boyfriend perhaps in the hope that he might be around long enough to made a few child support payments?

Real families can come onto bad times through no faults of their own and if so deserve help but there is no family here.

I don't think that we know what the family situation is...is there Grandma? Grandpa? Aunts? Uncles??

There is at the very least a mother and a child.


Taking the family support out of the tax code and putting into a monthly check to the parent or guardian sounds like a good plan. Nearly free child care is a must if we really do care, if our support is meant to matter. What could this woman do with a small monthly check and free child care if she can prove that she is working? Dig herself out of her situation maybe? Make a better life for her child maybe?

And yes, we should think long and hard before we throw parents into the Criminal University, and before that be proactive in seeing to it that parents don't run afoul of the law. Even if we don't like what the parents have done the best interests of the innocent child should be a consideration. I am not convinced that it ussually is, isn't not considering this kind of stuff what the "three strikes" laws and manditory minimums is all about??

As taxes are a zero sum game your plan is to take resources from my step daughters families who are currently raising three children and give it to this young lady and others like her?

Good idea as people like my step daughters will not have any more kids then they can raised themselves so you would be moving the child rearing from the responsible families to the who the father let have a DNA test families.

Wonderful plan as who would wish children to be raised in stable two parents households with boring responsible parents who would not view a government check as a reward for having children.